Prologue - The beginning of the End

Prologue - The beginning of the End

A Chapter by Rosaliine

Tears were streaming down my face as I was aware of my fate. I didn't make a single whimper though as everyone was watching, even him. They were taking a long time ripping, tearing, tugging each feather out one by one till they were all gone. He kept quiet the whole time. I hoped he would have said something but he didn't utter a single word. Not that that really surprised me. "You will now be exiled from here and you are to never return. Do you understand?" There were a few murmurs and gasps from the audience as a new addition had been added to the punishment. There was a flash of light and Joshua showed up. "She is yours now. Do with her as you will." I looked up at the man. He seemed so tall and big and if I was being honest he was terrifying. So basically he was everything a dark spiriter king is supposed to be. Dark spiriters were a fraction more human than demons and light spiriters were a fraction more human than angels. I was a light spiriter or rather.. I used to be. I turned towards Jesse trying to decide wether I should beg or not. Jesse was the "Prince" of light spiriters. Joshua's hand grabbed my wrist roughly and it was like a flame had taken a hold of me. I yelped at the burning sensation. Only then did Jesse stand up.
"Father, this is not what was agreed!"
"Silence! The only other option is to take her life for her actions. Is that what you would prefer?" Jesse remained silent. I felt like screaming at them all but that would achieve nothing.
"Father please!" But I was already gone. It felt like I was falling and it was burning. I landed on the floor in the least possible graceful manner. I no longer had my wings to balance me so I was sprawled on a cold tile floor.
"Wait here. I must go and get my sons." He left and I studied the room. It looked like a circular tower and the walls were covered with books. There was a mahogany desk in the middle of it. No one was sitting behing it but there was a name plaque on the desk and a single book. Mrs Riley. It was weird to think that hell had a nice, organised reception area. Or at least this section of hell. Who knew what lucifers hell was like? Hopefully I'd never find out. I picked up the book on the desk and there was a list of names and descriptions of why they were here and what their punishment was and how long for. There was a new entry at the bottom. Hayley Blake. There it was. My name, my punishment, which was exile, how long my punishment was for which was eternity. It was all written there neatly in curly, posh handwriting. In blood red ink. It was still slightly wet. I glanced across and the reason why I was here. It was one of the worst possible reasons to end up here and I'd never thought I would. There in the same loopy handwriting it stood out. Murder of another light spiriter.


© 2017 Rosaliine


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Reviews

Busy lead in, quite compelling. Dampness and writings to be explored. Nice start.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Nice intro glad to read your book in future in hard copy

Posted 7 Years Ago


Great opening line...hooked me right in....full of intrigue to read on. Great prologue to what i believe will open up into a great story.

Definately a different take on what hell must be like, very imaginative to say the least.

The stort flowed well and was easy to read. One thing i would say is to cut it into 3 or 4 paragraphs...this is just a personal opinion.

Loved it.

Kudos to you.

Mark.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is what we call an art..pure art. looking forward to know how this story would develop. Great artistry

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


I really like this story idea, I have a book idea that I have been working on similar to this genre. I think it is written beautifully...keeps you wanting to read more

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


Wow I can tell this book is going to be amazing and this is only the prologue! I don't know I can wait much longer to read chapter 1

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


Rosaliine

9 Years Ago

Thank you! In the middle of writing chapter one just now haha :)
HipsterPrincess17

9 Years Ago

Woohoo! XD
Keep em coming! I want more! xD
But seriously great work!

Love,
Shadowkai

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


Rosaliine

9 Years Ago

Thank you! :) gonna add the next chapter tonight when I get home I thinks :)
Shadowkai

9 Years Ago

I hope so xD
You sure now how to write a prologue. This one was great as well, and i want to know how this story develops.

I wasn't really sure where she ended up at the end. She was exiled, but to where? To a room with books? It just felt a bit strange. I expected she would be sent to earth, or to hell or something, but i couldn't find out which was the case.

There was this one sentence which sounded weird to me:
"His hand grabbed me and it was like a flame had grabbed me."
You used "grabbed" twice, which sounds a bit funny. I would suggest you change the second half of the sentence to describe the sensation in another way, for example "the heat of his hand seemed to burn my skin".

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


Lavorther

9 Years Ago

Great, that makes it a lot clearer :D
Rosaliine

9 Years Ago

:) I'll add some more later
Lavorther

9 Years Ago

Nice, can't wait to read it :)

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Added on October 18, 2015
Last Updated on April 5, 2017


Author

Rosaliine
Rosaliine

United Kingdom



About
I love reading and I thought I would have a go at doing some writing of my own. I am currently at college so I'll have to juggle my college work and putting up new chapters :p My favourite genre is .. more..

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A Story by Rosaliine


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