Terror In The Jungle

Opening my eyes I was in a jungle full of massive plants, trees that seemed to touch the sky, vines the size of the Eiffel tower and lots of loud noises. When I looked around one flower I had never saw stood out to me, it was a large red and black plant, it had vines crawling up around the flowers stem. Just as my eyes fell on the flower it opened up and let out the most amazing smell ever, it was like roses and lilly's and lilac combined .Slowly I walked over to it wanting to get a better look at it , when I did get to the plant I didn't even get the chance to look at it because there was animals coming at me from all sides, protecting this amazing plant.

Holding down a scream I turned to the gap into the animals and started to run and run, faster and faster with each step I took  There where tigers ,gorillas ,monkeys ,lions, snakes, giant spiders and panthers chasing me,along with elephants all chasing me just because I was near a flower!!Suddenly up ahead of me there was a ruin of a building, sort of like a big stone church.Running even faster I pounded up the steps with the animals close behind me.

Running into the building I looked around for a place to hide but found none but I did find gaps in the wall big enough to hook a foot into,get a good grip on and climb the wall.Running over to the first gap I started to climb,higher and higher,it seemed to take forever until when at last I got to the corner of the wall to see that all the animals,apart from the elephants where climbing the wall to come at me.Finally letting that scream that had been building up out I let go of my grip on the wall and fell fast towards the ground.Shutting my eyes I waited for the blow to kill me hit but then I was opening my eyes to find myself in my own bedroom.

                                                          The End! 

Author's Note

I had this as a nightmare a few years ago and I haven't changed anything about it,just putting it into words.If you find anything that needs 2 change or if there are any spelling mistakes please let me know.

P.S-it may not seem like a nightmare but it was when I was young.

Reviews

[李[A]]

I'm really tempted to give a super long review like I did last time, but I'll refrain myself from doing so :). The first thing I'm going to start recommending is that you organize your ideas into paragraphs. It seems like you like to write a lot, which explains the massive number of writings and the structure, but I feel as though if you organize into paragraphs as you go, you can end up with a nice structurally sound piece.

Grammar:
Line one: jungle
Line two: Tower, and lots (nice metaphor, those must be huge vines)
Sentence two: When I looked around one flower stood out to me; it was a large red and black plant. It had vines crawling up around the flowers stem.
Sentence three: Just as my eyes fell on the flower, it opened up and let out the most amazing smell ever: it was like roses and lilies and lilacs combined.
Sentence four: Slowly I walked over to it to get a better look at it. When I got to the plant, I didn't even get the chance to look at it because there were animals coming at me from all sides, protecting this amazing plant.
Sentence five: Holding off a scream, I turned to the gap between the animals, and started to run and run faster and faster faster with each step I took.
Sentence six: There were tigers,gorillas,monkeys,lions,snakes,giant spiders, and panthers chasing me. Even elephants were chasing me just because I was near a flower!

Anyway, there's a bit of my proofreading service to you, I'll add another review later, this one's already quite long.

Now context and thematic ideas: I was not expecting the ending to be like the way you wrote it at all. All your pieces I have read so far express that idea of tricking the reader one way, to end up somewhere else. I thought it was interesting and funny how animals would all of a sudden show up (after all it is a dream). Nice and adventurous poem for sure: I got a smirk on my face when I read that last line. Kudos to you!

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

I think this story is fine, especially considering that you remembered the nightmare for some years as you said in your Author's Note "I had this as a nightmare a few years ago and I haven't changed anything about it,just putting it into words.", and write it this good and detailed. As for the paragraphs, i think they are fine the way they are, i see how you probably separated them, paragraph one describing and building up the story with the plant and the animals coming at you. Paragraph two you tried to keep yourself calm a bit as you held in your scream and then the animals you wrote about more in this paragraph as you introduced there part to the story, and you spotted the building which leads to Paragraph three. And so paragraph three, the final paragraph where you completed the scene of the building, and how it looked with "but I did find gaps in the wall big enough to hook a foot into,get a good grip on and climb the wall" as well as the animals continuing to follow you "here climbing the wall to come at me" And you brought the scream from paragraph two back in play when you finally screamed out when showing your fear even more at the height of the story when your trapped because the animals still followed you. Really nice... i love this, i could see it as a nightmare, how it would frighten, with no escape... but to wake up at the end of it just as you wrote it here in the last paragraph. I enjoyed reading this, i really like it, nice title as well, and the picture you used for the poem of the building is nice, as well as the imagery in the story, i love how you described the plants in the first paragraph in the beginning "trees that seemed to touch the sky, vines the size of the Eiffel tower" ...as well as this line here " it was a large red and black plant, it had vines crawling up around the flowers stem" i can see how that plant was fascinating, i love how you wrote its details and looks. For the punctuation as someone else has suggested in a review i see already, i would also say just to fix the spaces before the punctuation like commas and place the space after the comma before the next word. : ) I really like this a lot tho, really nice.

[Jupiter Jazz]

I see I'm not the only one that has weird dreams... Nice details. I feel like it could've been sturctured better, but its still good

[AndyJCash]

It was a nice write up until you said you woke up in your bedroom :/ I suppose it goes with the fact it was a nightmare though. I would say two things: paragraph your work and put spaces after commas. Both of these will make your work look neater and more pleasant which in turn helps the reader enjoy the story more :)

*Nice to see you took my advice ^.^