The Mistrust In Love

One chance,

      Two try's too many,

            Too many words spoken,

                Too many promises broken.

                    Release to be found,

                               Love to be bound,

                                      Lies to be given,

                                            Things to be forgiven,

                                                     Chances to start over,

                                                                 Just to be ruined all over again. 

                                                     

                          

                                                                  

                                                            

                                      

Author's Note

If there is any spelling mistakes please let me know,really want to know your views on this.Thank you :)

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

This is really good, I love the title, wonderful how you did the structure... don't know if you thought about the structure when you wrote it but it seems like it shows the beginning from "One chance" ... falling apart as the structure goes down to "Just to be ruined all over again." at the end of the poem. I like how that is, if you meant to write it like that or not... it's still a nice structure. Also i love the bits of rhyming in this, i like this part: "Release to be found Love to be bound" really nice. It says so much, deep; broken, feelings... i really like this a lot.

[Kiri Nells]

I like the structure in this! The poem itself is simple, but there is so much behind just the poem. Great write! :)

As for mistakes, "To many words spoken" should be "Too many words spoken"
To many promises broken--> Too many promises broken

[Jupiter Jazz]

I like that. I like the descenting way it's structured, the rhyming scheme, the words. All of it

[李[A]]

I'll help you a bit with grammar in this. Second line: "two try's to many" should be
"two tries too many". Anyway, in terms of the cascading structure of this poem, it is very well written. As in other pieces, I would recommend you practice with smooth flow to create nice transition between thoughts and ideas. Nice job!

[Daniel88Batson]

Reminds me of my past. "like"