Fear

A dark story about two children whose lives are driven by fear.

 I snuck out, out into the woods behind the house today.  As I climbed out my window, I heard a noise behind me.  I sped up, hurried to the bottom of the trellis which was my ladder in and out of my house.  It was time, time for me to escape the prison which was my house.  Every few nights, when the pressure of staying inside was too much, I would run, run to a grove I knew of in the woods.  I heard a creak behind me.  I spun around, afraid I’d been caught, no telling what would happen if that were the case.  There was no one there.  ‘It’s just my imagination,’ I told myself.

I ran off, no use trying my fate.  As I reached the edge of the woods, I heard the crack of a twig behind me, spinning again, I saw my younger brother.  I stopped, waiting on him to catch up.

“Go back into the house,” I whispered. “If we’re both gone, we’ll get caught.”

“No, I’m worried about you.”

“Go back, John, go back or I’ll force you.”

“If you try to force me back, I’ll scream.  Tell Dad I heard you leaving and decided to follow you a bit and then announce your absence.”

“You do certainly know how to deal,” I whispered jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood.  After the night we’d both had, we could deal with a little laughter.  I didn’t work.  He knew me too well, knew I joked whenever I was the most scared.

“Sis, I just want to make sure you’re okay, that you’ll come back tonight, I don’t want you to leave me here. I’m afraid if you go to the grove alone tonight, you’ll decide never to come back, I can’t go on without you.” He looked up at me, pleadingly as he said this.

“Alright,” I agreed reluctantly, after all, what other choice did I have, “you can come along, but you have to stay with me, I don’t trust the rest of these woods at night.”

We walked on, into the grove.  It was one of the few places in the woods that still received moonlight.  We sat there through the night, talking about life.  We confided in each other, we were the only friends we had.  That’s the way our house worked, if no one knew us, no one would ask questions.  He told me Mom was as bad to him as Dad was to me.  We found comfort in each other, something we had always done.  Within the hour, we curled up together, finding strength in the closeness of each other.  This would be our biggest mistake.

As I woke up, the sun shining in my eyes, I knew we couldn’t go back to the house.  Our parents had the worst tempered we could imagine.  If we went back to that house, we wouldn’t see each other for weeks, we’d never make it.  The only way John and I had lasted this long was that we had each other.  My mind went back to what he’d said the night before, about the fear he had of my leaving.  We couldn’t go on without each other.

Just as I was turning to wake John up I heard a rustling. It was my father’s face I turned to see.  So much for John and I slipping away before our parents had the opportunity to find us.

“June,” he called out, “I’ve found them.  Looks like they decided the beds we provided for them weren’t good enough for them.  Decided the trees were better.”  He spat the last word.

A week later, John and I were pulled into the basement.    We hadn’t been allowed to see each other, because we gave each other ideas.  Dad was convinced that neither of us would ever have left the ‘wondrous house’ had we not been around the other.  As Mom and Dad continued to talk and to act that whole night in the basement I felt myself changing.  I’d told John almost everything.  The one thing I’d failed to tell him was that Mom and Dad weren’t our parents.  We’d been sold, sold into this life when I was barely old enough to remember our real parents.  John had been only two years old.  He’d think my actions were against our own flesh and blood.

Regardless of what he didn’t know, it didn’t change the fact that I felt my resolve slowly leaving.  That night eleven years ago, I had promised myself I wouldn’t give into the fear, the absolute terror they cause to well up within my. Promised myself that for his sake I would look at this with reason, not with emotion.  And yet, I could feel the irrational slipping ever closer the longer this night went on.

As my emotions began to take control over my reason, I felt my body finally start to fight back.  The slim strength I had always attempted to keep within my limbs began to be gathered.  I had always known that one day I would leave, find some way to free John and myself, I just never knew when.  I felt the muscles in my body slowly begin to tense.  I knew I couldn’t let him know, let Sean, he was no longer Dad, know what I was thinking.  At the right moment, his attention off of me and on June, I sprang up and flipped him over.  He’d long ago forgone restraints, beginning to trust me, trust that I would always obey him.

I knew John and I would have a short time to leave, and that I would have an even shorter time before June and Sean reacted to my “betrayal.”  What I didn’t count on was that John was emboldened by my actions and threw June off of him as well.  I lost my last rational grip on reality, giving in to my emotions.  The flood of them drove me to grab the vase on the mantle next to me.  The next thing I remember is coming to in our ‘parents’ car.

“Addy,” John said, shaking me, “are you okay? “

“John.”  I moaned.

“Addy, it will be okay, no one will ever know what happened.”

“Wh..wha…what did happen John, the last thing I remember was picking up that vase…”

“It’s best you don’t know Addy, just so long as you remember the man who snuck in, we hid, somehow avoiding him, hearing our parents killed, know we would be next.  The fire he lit to hid what he had done.  How we barely escaped before the house blew up. That leak in the gas line was a horrible way for our parents to go.” John said this, his voice shaking almost as much as his hands.  As I watched him, I realized it was amazing he could even keep a hand on the wheel.

                “Wait, John, why are you shaking……what man?”  I was so confused, what had happened since I blacked out.

                “Addy, you…you lost control.  But its okay now, no one will ever suspect us.   Just so long as we stick together, no one will ever know the truth about our parents.”

“About that John…”I said, hesitatingly,” they weren’t really our parents…”

“I know,” he cut me off, “June used to tell me that all the time.”