Sonnet 1

My first sonnet. It's about not being able to express oneself.

Dost thou know when the seal hast since been broke,
Or dost thou slouch until such words are spoke?
Thy boiling mind impatient seeks mine lid,
Yet underneath these frozen thoughts are hid.

Of graves and time and pregnant depths of love;
Of bodies, blackened pits and gates above.
My moon mind bold at last doth start to wane
Hung matte among stars with some life to feign.

I seal myself until time to ferment,
When space and calm in chaos must lament
A loss of soulful matter true to mind,
If opened might have proved a fruitful find.

Be tender when thou foreseest the burst
If not, confine doth render myself cursed.

Author's Note

Did I achieve anything here?

Reviews

[Frieda P]

I'm in awe, going to delete my last nonsense poem right now! Beautiful, just lovely...

[Rosa Carlyle-Mitchell]

Never do that! Nonsense is a jolly foil :) Appreciate it.

[Frieda P]

ha even your responses are poetic :)

[Patrick Henry]

Oh My God!!! You wrote a Sonnet!! Seriously, I have seen some on here called "Sonnets" that vary on lines with 9 beats to up to 16. lol Ones that are silly, confusing, etc.... this is gorgeous. I am in lo.....I like this Sonnet a lot!! Second to the last line.. count the beats. I didn't know foreseest was a word. Beautiful work. I can't stay away from a well-written Sonnet. Beautiful Rosa. xoxo -Mark

[Rosa Carlyle-Mitchell]

Seriously, thank you so much! That was a lovely message. Yep, the beats in that line are indeed off - I shall do some fine-tuning :) x

[Rosa Carlyle-Mitchell]

I think I cured the rhythm - check it!

[Patrick Henry]

I am still smitten/blown away by the courage and discipline you put into writing this piece. I want to hug you!! lol It's emotional, I guess right now, to actually see something this beautiful written this way...... the way "I" have written Sonnets!! I will be honored to have you read my Sonnets someday on here!! xoxo -Mark

[Patrick Henry]

I'm confused because the word is still there. -M

[Rosa Carlyle-Mitchell]

Yeah foreseest is a word. Google that s**t. Very old usage. It has three syllables so works out now :)

[Patrick Henry]

; ) Cool. No worries. Half of my friends on here know that I only read dictionaries growing up, so I'm a critic of sorts when it comes to words in general!! You will see this in my poems..... Glad this works out now, too!! xoxo -Mark

[Sami Khalil]

I seal myself until time to ferment,
When space and calm in chaos must lament
A nice write. I enjoyed your poem.