In Love With The Wrong Guy Chapter 8 Can't Stop

                The next morning that came was brilliant! I was feeling all well. My class was eight o’clock, which was the earliest, but I had the motivation to go to school early. As soon as I got conscious, one face came to my mind: Alexander. That pushed me to move quickly, eat early, and drive really fast. For the first time, I actually wanted to go to school. After hearing what mom told me the night before, I wanted to see Alexander as soon as possible. I wanted to be around him again. I didn’t know what that feeling was exactly. I thought money was supposed to make everyone happy. So, why was that feeling taking over me like I wanted to just fly on the horizon? Were the ideas I have learned for the past eighteen years not the answers I actually needed?

                I didn’t know. Mom noticed my very rare enthusiasm, so she lent me her car again. I got to school just six minutes before my class actually starts; usually, I’d be late for half an hour. I walked really fast in the campus, up to the room. I went with the hallway traffic, and I didn’t care. The bullies that usually hit the books I always brought so I’d drop them; they did again. They teased me along the way again. But I didn’t have time for that. I picked up the books as they laughed at me. I didn’t show them any expression �"no happiness because of my excitement and no anger about the bullies. I tried my best to get to class as early as fast as I could.

                As I was walking on the hallway to the room, I noticed Nick had passed by me, and he stopped. I had the impression that he was going to call my attention, but I just continued on my way to the room. I tried to walk faster so he wouldn’t catch up to me.

                “Liyah!” he called.

                 I tried to walk faster so I could have had a reason to ignore him, but he tried to scoot in through the crowd. Yes, I saw the shadow from the back of my sight. I just hurried to the room. Nick stopped rushing to me as soon as he realized I was in a hurry, too. I got to the classroom, but when I had a glimpse of Alexander talking with someone inside as his back was towards me, I panicked and walked back right away. I didn’t know why. He had not seen me, so I felt like I needed an entrance that would catch his attention. I rushed and hid beside the door outside the room. That was when I realized that I forgot that Nick was behind me. Nick stopped, too, and looked at me weird. I felt embarrassed, and my stomach felt incredibly warm again. I was inclining my back on the wall and looked like there was obviously something that kept me from coming inside the room.

                “Are you okay?” Nick asked. That was when Nick realized I was blushing. “Why is your face all red?”

                “What?” I panicked. My eyes widened. I held my cheek with my palm. “My face isn’t turning red!”

                “Are you blushing?” his tone wasn’t really like how Laura always says it. It wasn’t a teasing tone and definitely not pleased.

                “I am not blushing!” I completely denied. Of course, I wasn’t pleased that he saw that, too.

                Nick leaned and took a look at the room, and I didn’t know what he saw, but when he stood normally again, he gave me a concerned look. I was sure he wouldn’t be happy if he knew I had a crush on Alexander. Nick just stared at me, trying to see my reaction. I couldn’t do anything. I would have seemed a lot guiltier if I denied it.

                “What?!” I was driving him away. He took that hint and just walked away. He walked differently then, like he had something heavy in his mind.

                Damn, that was a problem to me, too! I didn’t want Nick to think I had a crush on Alexander! I didn’t know what to do. I felt completely glued to the wall with a thousand of thoughts in my mind. People who were crossing past me were totally laughing of my reaction and giving me a really weird look. I was experiencing the horrors of that situation when I didn’t realize that Alexander was peeking at me from the door.

                “Liyah, what are you doing?” he asked. I was wonder-struck. I faced him, and his face was like a foot from me. Of course, I was craving to kiss him as he smiled at me.

                “Alex!” I exclaimed with excitement, smiling like never.

                “Wow.” He laughed. “No one calls me that.”

                “Really?” I just smiled. I mean, my stomach was like boiling, and my hands were scratching the wall. I could have shouted my excitement that moment. “Not even your parents?”

                “No.” he laughed. He walked completely out of the door, and then I saw him completely. He hid his hands in his pockets which was really cute to me. “Everyone calls me Sander.”

                “Okay!” I said, still smiling. “But I’ll still call you Alex! It sounds less hostile that way!”

                “Is that so?” he laughed. I promise it was really cute for me! “Sander is just actually that thing they use with sandpapers.”

                “That’s rough, Alex.” I said, and we both laughed about it. I didn’t know where I got that joke. I just suddenly had it. Was I that enthusiastic whenever I was with Alexander? After laughing, we just sorta’ waited for each other to say something. I wondered if I was still blushing. If I was, I would have exploded. Well, he hadn’t really said, so-…

                “So, what are you doing here?” he asked. I didn’t know what to say. I panicked again and felt nervous. I was saying ‘uh’, thinking of what to say. When it got too long enough, I just came up with something to say.

                “Just hanging around with the wall!” Oh, crap! Why the heck did I say that? I got a lot more nervous. Alexander was looking at me like it was hilarious. He just smiled.

                “Seriously?” he laughed again.

                “It’s nothing.” I said with a weak voice. “Sorry.”

                I couldn’t lie to Alexander again. I thought he might not like it, and I didn’t want to make it bad, so I walked around Alexander, into the room. Alexander kept his sight on me as I walked past him and ended our conversation.

                “Sorry for what?” Alexander chuckled because it seemed a little weird. He probably noticed that I was hiding something. I stopped walking when he asked.

                “It’s nothing. Sorry, I was just being weird. “See ‘ya.”

                “Okay?” he chuckled. “See ‘ya, too.”

                Then, I continued walking. Oh crap again! Why the heck was I not thinking right again?! It was good that Alexander found that funny, but it could have been also humiliating. He probably thought I was some weirdo. And why did I end our conversation?! I mean, he was a guy that I loved to talk to even forever! I never turned around to see Alexander again. I feared that he could have figured that I somehow liked him. It’s not that I didn’t want him to know. It’s just that I didn’t know what to do when that happens. Alexander probably greeted someone else after I ditched him. As soon as I sat on my chair, I felt like I wanted to bump my head on the chair desk a couple of times. I thought that was a good way to get Alexander’s attention and concern, but I would just seem more weird. My mind was rumbling. I didn’t know what to feel. I was excited and frustrated at the same time. I was getting dizzy.

                The weirdest thing came up to me: the class was quite a disaster in my head. It just passed by, and I wasn’t paying attention. I kept on turning my head to Alexander. I was trying to see what his reaction was to my ditch. He didn’t seem mad or anything. He actually just seemed normal. I thought maybe I wasn’t even important to worry, or maybe I just didn’t leave that kind of impression on him. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to approach him as soon as the class finished, but I thought I would seem impulsive, so I didn’t. I just tried my best to not think about Alexander the whole session of English, but I couldn’t. I didn’t turn to see him anymore, but what happened was I daydreamed instead. I thought of several scenarios where my reaction with Alexander’s question wasn’t a ditch, and I definitely wished for just one of them to come true. I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t able to concentrate on the essay that the English teacher assigned us, so I didn’t pass my unfinished work. Somehow, writing essays wasn’t really my thing. I didn’t know a thing about what I was feeling. Why couldn’t I forget about Alexander? I was sure it was not his appearance that I found as cute. I thought it was the whole him. Maybe I was attracted to everything about him. Was that the feeling of love? I was getting anxious, and I couldn’t stop thinking.

                All I did was repeat some lyrics in my mind. The lyrics is from a song of MoZella. I used to listen to it back at my sophomore year. I always had my ears plugged in music as I peddled my bicycle to school. The song ‘Can’t Stop’ just wouldn’t lay off my mind like it was telling me something.

                “You speak to my soul like you’ve known it before, and I just can’t stop.”