Apple Green (Rough Draft - Unedited)

Chase is a woman who isn't too concerned with dating much to her friends dismay. A good friend finally convinces her to try a speed dating session. Follow Chase as see meets a few characters and a gorgeous pub owner.

 

She waited for him to pick up two straws, shove them in the sides of his mouth, and call himself a walrus. It was only two minutes into her four minute date with Carl Burton; a door to door encyclopedia salesman from Idaho, and she felt like they had been talking for hours. And not the "my time flies when you're having fun" hours but the "staring at a pot waiting for it to boil" kind of hours.

She concentrated on Carl's tie as she tried not to stare at his bald head which was not only chapped but was painful shade of red. He told her the sun was brutal on door to door salesmen when he noticed her staring the first time, she wanted to mention the joys of Suntan lotion, but opted for tie meditation. She only assumed his mother bought it for him, Carl didn't seem the purple and pink paisley type. She imagined he'd pick out something with a cartoon character on it, or a bottle of beer. His mother definitely bought him the tie. God please ring the damn bell, she thought to herself. She could only pretend to be interested for so long.

A small metal bell chimed and a voice yelled over the crowd, "All men move one table to your right".

"Chase, it was a pleasure," Carl chortled as he stood and put out his hand.

            "Yes, pleasure", she mumbled as she shook his hand. They were chapped too.

            Chase sat back down and jotted down her comments about Carl on her speed dating card. Under comments she wrote: Not in a million years, he smelled like cheese whiz mixed with cheap cologne. And who sells encyclopedias door to door, how 1990's.

            She stood up as she saw a shadow darken the small bistro table she sat at; she knew date number eight of twenty had arrived.

            "Guten Tag. Miz nam iz Adalric. Miz Enzlizh iz not gud. I speez Deustsches", Adalric stammered to say as his smile did all the charming.

            "Halo. Mein Name ist Chase. Ich spreche Deutsches wenig. Bitte, sitzen Sie." Chase answered excitedly. She studied German for four semesters and never had a chance to use her knowledge. Adalric just stared at her.

            "My name is Ryan. I don't speak German. I've never been to Germany.", he admitted as he sat in the chair across from Chase. He shrugged. "Women are more inclined to sleep with you if you have an accent. I never thought I'd run into a woman who spoke German".

            Chase rolled her eyes. They sat in silence until the bell rang and the men were directed to move one table to the right. She preferred the silence of Adalric turned Ryan to the four straight minutes of Carl's ramblings. Her comments for Ryan read: Best date thus far; at least he's someone to call if I get desperate. Does it get more desperate than Speed Dating? She cringed at the thought.

One more date until intermission. She waited for the tenth character.

            "Yo, you can call me Phish. That's P to H to IS-H", said the skinny kid who stood next to her. He wore pants down to his ankles and a T-shirt seven sizes too large for him. Around his neck hung the largest painted gold, plastic rhinestone, bling Chase had ever seen.

            "I will not call you Phish", Chase answered back as if scolding a small child.

            "Come on beau. Show Phish some love", he said as jerked his head in an upward motion.

            "I will not call you Phish", she repeated.

            "I see how it is girl. Playing hard to get. I get your game."

            Chase rolled her eyes and a sarcastic chuckle escaped her lips. She wanted to ask him if he was playing hard to want, but decided she was already coming off as a b***h. It surprised her to find she had something resembling a conversation with Phish. He got the ball rolling by asking her favorite movie, Circle of Friends, and he responded with his, Scarface. None of his answers surprised Chase. He was by definition a poser and had all the lines down pat.

            The bell rang again.

            "Peace out", he yelled with a curl of his lip and tug at his pants.

            "Night… Phish", she said with great hesitation. She still preferred the fake German.

            The hosts called half time and she made her way outside, careful to avoid Carl who promised to finish his conversation on how the internet has destroyed his business. She pushed opened the pub door and was met with fresh crisp air. It was beautiful outside, a nice change from the congested interior of the pub. She pulled out her cell phone and her cigarette case. Fast as lightening she dialed up her friend Shellie, this whole night was her idea and Chase wanted her to know how much she loved her for it. D****t, voicemail. She threw her phone back in her purse and searched for her lighter.

            "Bloody Hell," she said loudly as she realized her lighter was empty. She felt as if she already poured a bowl of cereal only to find out someone put an empty milk carton back in the fridge. She really needed a tobacco fix to calm her down.

            "I got cha," a voice behind her said followed by the striking of a match. She turned around to see the glow of the flame, which distorted his face. She leaned in and lit her cig.

            "Thanks, I don't think I could have gone without one and survived the rest of this night", she said as she took her first drag. The face that belonged to the voice slowly started to show detail.

            He was cute. Tall, at least six two and built solid. It was obvious he was muscular but he also looked soft, perfect for cuddling or opening a pickle jar. Chase assumed that if he let his light brown hair out of its ponytail it would lay just below his shoulders. His face was made up of sharp angles and stubble. His eyes were brown and were framed with dark eyelashes. Chase felt a warm touch of lust run down her spine.

            "No problem," he said as Chase swooned, "there is always one girl or guy at these shindigs that just doesn't belong. I pegged you for the outcast the moment you walked in." He said as he lit his own cigarette.

            "Yeah, my married friends, it was their idea." Chase was jealous of the cigarette. He had great lips.

            "That who you were callin just now? The friend who put you up to this?" He asked taking a drag.

            "Yeah," Chase giggled. Oh my God did I just giggle, she thought to herself. "She owes me big. What's your story? You seem to know a bit about these things. You a regular?"

            "God no", he laughed, "I own this pub".

            "You own the Glass House?"

            "Yup. She's my baby." He answered proudly.

            "Oh my God. I have to ask you something", Chase said through her laughter. "Why did you name it Glass House where there isn't one window in the whole place?"

            "I liked the irony", he said with a crooked smirk and a wink.

            Chase couldn't help but laugh. She always enjoyed the fallacy of The Glass house. She liked him. He was easy on the eyes, a successful business owner, and clever. Chase was definitely twitterpatted.

            They spent her fifteen minute break talking about all the guys she had met in the last forty minutes. He laughed from his toes and she ran down the list of pet names she gave them all. First there was Spastic Stanley, who was so nervous her body vibrated with his as they shook hands. Then Big Fish Landon, he owned three homes in France and was supposed to inherit fifteen million dollars, not to mention hung like a horse which he made sure to add as he walked to the next table. After Landon came Blue State Brandon who spent the first 10 seconds of their date asking Chase her political affiliation and the rest of the date lecturing her on the evil Republican Party. He was followed by Say it and Spray it Jackson, Guess what I have pierced Roy, Very Average Joe, Looking for wife number four Stewart, and who could forget Door to Door Carl, Fake Accent Ryan, and Poser Phish. Chase was enjoying herself; until the two minute warning bell went off. The host shouted over the intercom, "Two Minutes until Speed Dating Commences. Two Minutes".

            "Guess that would be you," he said with a childish grin.

            "Don't remind me. I guess I better go in there. I still have ten fabulous bachelors to choose from." Chase responded with a flirty laugh, "Thanks for the light and the company … "

            "Jim" he said answering her assumed question.

            "Nice to meet you Jim, I'm Chase". She threw her cigarette down and twisted the toe of her shoe to put it out.

            "I like your shoes. Apple Green, it's one of my favorite colors" he said as he opened the door for her. A coy smile crossed her face. As she passed through the door he asked her what she was drinking because she'll need one more before she meets Shakespearean Dave. Her cheeks hurt from smiling.

            As she walked to her dark table she heard a horrible fake German accent not to far from her. Ryan was chatting up some very young girl who looked as though she could use a hamburger or two. The girl was twirling her hair and touching his arm as she talked to him. He's probably going home with her tonight, she thought to herself as she took her seat.

The bell rang and she found herself face to face with the prettiest man she had ever laid eyes on. He was perfect. Every strand of hair was locked into its assigned spot. His skin looked so soft and he smelled like expensive cologne and lavender. Chase suspected the Lavender came from the fabric softener he must use regularly. She would also put money on the fact that in his wallet, were pictures of himself.

            "Hi, I'm Chase", she said, offering her hand. He just looked at it as if she offered him something offensive like a kilo of cocaine or a porno magazine. She awkwardly put her hand back on her lap

            "Chase? That's not a very feminine name. I'm Anthony. No, you cannot call me Andy or Tony, it's Anthony and I will answer to nothing else", he cautioned her as he pulled a small bottle of Hand Sanitizer out of his brown leather jacket. "So, Chase", he continued with a smug look that Chase wanted to smack right off of his face, "What does a girl like you do for a living?"

            "A girl like me? Well, seeing as I wasn't blessed with a feminine name I am not lucky enough to work in a feminine field. I wanted to be a florist but who ever heard of a florist named Chase. So I settle for Garbage collector. At first the germs and smell bothered me, but you get used to it after awhile", Chase lied as she placed her hand on top of his. "And what do you do Tony?"

            He pulled his hand out from under hers as fast as he could, stood up, and excused himself to the restroom. She sat back in her chair amused with herself and chuckle from behind the bar caught her attention. There she found Jim looking her way and he tipped his glass to her.

            The bell rang again. Bachelor number twelve made his way to Chase's table.

The next four guys were actually, by Chase's "speed date standards", somewhat normal. Number twelve was a construction worker who cursed like a sailor. She named him Bad Mouth Bryan. Next was lucky thirteen, a web designer who was a little too addicted to Online Role Play Games. He was named World of Warcraft Willy, even though he informed her his game of choice was Second Life and he preferred Bill to Willy or William. Bachelor number fourteen worked at a clothing store for men as assistant manger. Like everyone else in retail, he complained about his job which is why Chase named him, God I need a new job Jerome. Fifteen was a Junior High Math Teacher, who really seemed to care about his students. But his jokes about triangles and calculus flew over her head and she named him Hypotenuse Denny.

            The bell rang again, but before she was greeted by her next bachelor she was met by Jim bringing her the mandarin tonic she ordered as he opened the door for her. As he put the drink down he whispered to her, "I would like you to met Shakespearean Dave". Then he slid back behind the bar and prepared to watch what was about to unfold.  

            "Mademoiselle, it is an honor and my great pleasure to meet your acquaintance. My name is David a name I hope your lips will find joy in speaking", David fawned as he took Chase's hand and kissed it gently. Chase felt as if her lungs were going to pop as she held in her laughter.

            "Good Sir," she choked on her words and she bowed her head, " My name is Chase and it is a great pleasure to be able to spend these precious four minutes with you. Will you please have seat?"

            The next four minutes were full of metaphors and similes. Her favorite line was, your eyes are deep and vast like that of the Ocean and like the Sea they can both give life and destroy. She pretended to cough in order to hide her laughter, but Jim failed to do the same, and she heard him roar with laughter over the twenty couples getting to know each other. She was having fun now, knowing that Jim was watching her. It wasn't such a dread, dealing with odd balls, it made him laugh and she loved to see his smile.

            The bell rang again and Dave kissed her hand and bowed. Informing her never has four minutes been so blissful. She curtsied a bid him ado. As he left she turned and looked at Jim, his smile was as wide as her eyes. She couldn't deny it, she had a crush.

            She spent the remaining sixteen minutes of her speed dating with Over Compensating Josh, Creepy Old Man Tom, Perverted Dean (who informed her that next time she decides to attend a speeding dating function it would be in her best interest to wear a lower cut blouse), and Baby Mama Drama Victor. The final bell rang and her speed dating adventure was over, the host of the activity got on the intercom to thank everyone for coming and she hopes to hear some positive feedback and would especially like to hear if any couples have been found tonight. Chase wondered if her and Jim would count, technically they met while she was speeding dating. While the rest of the daters hung around and exchanged numbers Chase made her way to the bar.

            "Your eyes, are as vast as the Ocean", quoted Jim as he handed Chase another mandarin Tonic.

            "You're just jealous that no one complimented your eyes with poetry", Chase countered as she raised one eyebrow.

            As the speed dating crew thinned her crush on Jim thickened. His sense of humor was everything she wanted in a guy. He was clever, witty and still a bit goofy. He loved classic literature and even quoted from her favorite book, Dorian Gray. Anyone who quotes Oscar Wilde has to be an exceptional person she thought to herself. She glanced at her watch to find she had spent two hours chatting Jim up at the bar. These hours were the "my how time flies when you're having fun" hours. It was getting late, she knew she had to go. He placed one more drink in front of her and she swore it would be her last. She pulled the orange slice off the rim of the glass and pulled the fruit from its rind.

            "Hey babe", Jim said with star-struck expression on his face.

            Chase's heart sank. Babe? Did he just call someone babe?

            "Chase I would like you to met someone. This is Ashley, my significant other." Jim said with a twinkle in his eye.

            Chase felt her heart drop further, she swore she could feel it beat in the bottom of her foot. She spun her barstool around to face the girl who was lucky enough to go home with Jim.

            As she turned her chair her eyes widened and she looked back at Jim and back at Ashley. She now stood in between two of the most handsome men she had ever seen.

            "Hey. Name's Chase" she said trying to hide her heartbreak and her surprise.

            "Hi girl, I hope Jim is treating you right", Ashley said as he leaned over the bar and gave Jim a quick kiss on the lips.

            Chase smiled, "He was my God send tonight".

            "Speed Dater, eh?", he guessed.

            "Don't judge me", she laughed as she downed her last drink as if it were water.

            He complimented your shoes Chase, you should have seen this coming, he even called them apple green, she said to herself.

            "Well boys, I better be off, gotta work in the morning", she said sadly as she threw money down on the counter.

            "I don't think so, take your money back. Drinks were on me." Jim said as he picks up the money and handed it to her. After a arguing back and forth about whether she was going to pay or not, Jim won. She thanked him for the drinks and the laughs and walked away.

            "I vonder vhat ze Jermen iz doing", she said out loud as she pushed the door to the pub open and walked into the parking lot.

Author's Note

This has not been edited as far as grammar and punctuation goes, so please ignore errors until final draft is posted. Thanks.

Reviews

[Irin Chendale]

*Giggles.* What is the saying? All the good ones are either taken or gay?

I know you said to ignore errors before the final version is posted, just thought I'd let you know that you had some tense problems.

Other than that, I enjoyed the read.