The painting of Perfection

as the planted seed grew and the voices, called for hard. Choice.

 

       Finally, his creativity was exhausted. After four rolls of film, and who knew how many hours of setting lighting and directing Bethany. Through the endless desired posing. Her, looking tired and as hungry as he was. They retired reluctantly from the studio, to head for the kitchen and toast their cranberry filled glasses, devour the stiffening sandwiches and limp salad. Neither of them cared, munching through it all and saying hardly anything, each lost to their own thoughts. The feeling in the room, almost surreal and charged with a dynamic energy. Hard to put a finger on, like somehow...

        Roly's Artistic history, was in the making!

        Beth, rose and casually threw the bathrobe Roly had given her over the back of her chair and unashamedly walk perkily naked around the corner. To come back fully dressed. Roly figured it now being late in the day, beautiful Bethany would likely be leaving and his heart surge awfully.

       “Going home”, he queried to add, “I don't know what time it is. But it's probably late, an I imagine your parents, wondering where you are,” stated with not some small unrealized ache.

        She sat back in her chair and sipped again, at her juice. “Nope,” Beth replied. “They're at our lake cabin, for the weekend. For parental private time,” there came a tinkling laugh, “they'd asked me, to come along... but I could see, by the way they were looking at each other. It was one of those weekends trying to ah give me... ah like, sister-ship,” and blush prettily. “So, I made up non-existent school work. An told them to have fun, without me,” and shrug her shoulders, giggling. “Besides, if they phone me. It'll be over my cell phone, anyway. I could be anywhere, and fact is. I'm happily here... with you, Roly!” He was a little surprised, that that didn't bother him now what so ever. His level of comfort with her presence, had changed dramatically. Guessing, now that they had agree on a working relationship... all of that had changed. Or, had it?

         Roly's turn, to shrug. “And I'm glad your here, my angel,” said as he stretch some kinks out while slung low in his chair an finally feel relaxed, content. Roly ask her, with interest, “so what now? Now, that you don't have to be anywhere and we, have a whole weekend of work. We could do,” felt his creative urges surge, “well, there's a ton of stuff. I could think of, that we could discuss on into our evening!” Roly's mind a whirl with pregnant discussion, on pure theory. The elements of fantasy poised in the Art of imaginations arrival, at poise that emulated... artistic expressionisms in surreal truth,

         “Cool... lets go into the living room, an git right to it there Roly,” Beth smile breathtakingly sweet, breaking though his line of thought and then. Stall them altogether, out of left field, “I could do the dishes and clean this up,” to offer a hand, sweeping over their devoured mess for emphasis.

          “Forget about it. I'll do it later. I think this stuff, is far more important... don't you?” Of course she nod total agreement, and on they went to talk in the comfort of the living-room. On a project they were both immensely excited about and it went long into the evening, their creative immersions...

          They'd gotten so involved at some point, Beth yawned hugely to bodily stretch arms fully extended to the ceiling... accentuating every curve, she owned. Then blurredly look, to study her slender silver watch with a surprised sigh. “God, it's three in the morning Roly!” With a momentary thought on things seriously considered. Bethany looking so god damn sensuous stretching to the heavens... painted, just so? She thankfully interrupt Roly's, current fantasy. “You know, we've both been through so much today. It hasn't been anything like, I could have ever hoped for.” Roly couldn't imagine what was coming next, but he had to agree with her observation. So far as it went.

          Her disposition changing looking terse, like a tentative testing of waters... “with the way our day, so emotionally began. God,” she roll her eyes expressively, “almost a spiritual stretching, and on to your revelations... of wanting to paint me.” Which brought such an emotional glow to Beth's features, Roly almost couldn't concentrate on what she were trying to say. Her, not even noticing his confused elations of all most mystical proportions as she carried through, with her not so little speech. “With the modelling an all, and now... our conversations. On creating it.” Bethany's pause through, what was a naturally timed innocence. 'Whew, man... gonna over heat here'. Roly thought, racked n losing his sanity...

           'I'm really, falling in love with her'? 

           Well that was a deranged notion, deserving a pause to study Beth's, now overwhelming presence and shake away. Such outrageously stupid, thoughts!

         “I know I'm rambling, Roly. But, bare with me. Jeez, pay attention!” God knows, he was trying. She, put out there. “I just feel, right now, real raw and somehow exposed. You know, vulnerable.” Even the very scintillating smell of her, filled his nebulae cosmology.

            “I could, get you to drive me home.” Beth held up her hand knowingly. Roly now snap to full attention, about to offer just that. Thinking all the build up was for this very thing.  

              'Nope'...

              Bethany, frown? A reality coming intensification into perennial eventual view of madness, threatened. “No ones, there... Roly,” to sufficiently perfectly pout, lips like ripe peach. And, with cream the taunt went on, “I don't want to be alone right now. Do you think I could sleep, here tonight.” Oh man... ouch, “I'd just wake up and be right back here. Just as soon as I woke up!” Bethany back and naked, whoa, ya.

              Target application predominant... crash, coming

              Roly broke in, “I suppose, that'd be all right Beth. You could have my bed, and I could make up the couch here... for me.” He really, figured that'd be fine?

              And, in the morning. Be right back to work!

              But Bethany, wasn't quite finished yet.

              Looking kind of impish, went on, “Hmm, well not really what I was thinking... at all!” Roly, only looking really puzzled now. Waited to see, just where this was going to end up? “You see, even being in your bed... as you've said. I'd still be alone, Roly. I don't want you, to take this the wrong way though.” Which Roly, already had, trying not to dissuade. Just maybe the conversation in the direction, he thought it might be taking? 'This might end, really very good', said his devils itch...weirdness grows, paradise it follows.

             Heavens flow...

             Beth laughed, at the look she was seeing... on his slavering puss. “Come on. Let me finish, ok,” and gave Roly a look, that ironed him... right the f**k up, “when I was little... and I felt, well not quite like this. But maybe, scared or weirded out. Which happened quite a lot, in my strangely different existence. I'd get these strange bouts of feeling separate, or things shrinking and expanding. While I tried to sleep.” She sucked in her bottom lip at the revelling these things, to him and obvious it wasn't easy for her. To be freely give out, 'lil' girly secrets. “Anyway”, she hurry on to save courage, “Mom and Dad, would let me climb in with them. Mom, patting me on the head and I'd snuggle into my dad feeling safe, protected and I'd go right to sleep!” Roly, felt his insides go weak, at some of his passing thoughts seeming so perverse and unnatural. Sitting there on the couch, Bethany look so small an far away.

           Like lost, in a Mythical Kingdom.

           She hung her head, her hair covering her face and said so quiet, he almost... didn't hear her. “It's what I need from you, tonight. Roly. To sleep, I repeat, sleep with you, in your bed and curl up next to you. To feel safe, protected from the vastness I feel right now,” making Roly feel honestly shamed, as his Angel finish her plea, “not be alone, in this huge universe. I just need, to stay close to you. Alright?”

           And found himself saying, “ok Beth. If that's, what you really need. You can sleep with me.” To really surprise himself, as it had fallen out. Roly, was beginning to see just how really truly alienated, this oh so young girl... really was. He knew, of course she'd had a loving stable family life. Even with all of her fundamental accomplishments, was somehow set apart from most people and that he couldn't understand. He'd always preferred to be solitary, but it was by choice and he didn't have any real trouble, interacting with most people. Beth obviously had, and had found in Roly... regardless of the age that separated them... a friend. Someone, that she could finally relate with. Share herself, and not be lonely. She was extraordinarily gifted, and it had cut her off somehow. From experiencing normally, what other kids her own age went through naturally and generally.

            Took for granted...

            He cross, to where she was and found that she was quietly, crying. Sat next to her on the sofa and enfolded her in his arms and sooth her hair, and mutter small endearments of confidence. To finally. Just stand and scoop her up in his arms and carry her weightlessness, to his bedroom. He lay Bethany, on the bed for her to curl blatantly fetal insecure and simpering. Into its empty expanse, still holding herself to softly sob. What could he do?

           Roly went to the his dresser and took out a pair of flannel pyjamas, he'd never worn and a giant tee shirt even too big for him. Couldn't remember even just where he'd gotten it, but it would service as pj's for sweet Bethany and her innocent sleep-over with a friend. In turning, found her sitting up watching him with huge innocent baby blues and oh god, visibly shaking. It was horrible, for him to witness such vulnerability. He return to her. “Here, put this on”, he'd said, not meaning to sound gruff. His emotions having failed themselves, it only come out sounding harsh to his own ears. Gave her the huge tee shirt... and went off, in a huff into the bathroom. Why? These cross currents of emotion, so alien to him as to be painful. For himself to change, feeling... what. More, than slightly ashamed and well, frightened. Would have covered it nicely, knowing his sex drive... had no place here.

          He braved it, and went back into the bedroom.

          Bethany still sat there on the bed, where he'd left her waiting for him. Now wearing the tee shirt he'd given her as a nighty and noted, that she were no longer crying. Her long bared legs, tucked seductively under her and Roly struggle not to notice too much. Her very womanly appeal, rather enhancing those fears. Although her beautiful eyes, as he got closer he'd seen, that they were still sea green. Just red and an puffy, Looking as though she were still on the edge of breaking down into tears. Roly, sat on the bed beside her and again... took her into his arms and tenderly held her.

           Beth, put her slim arms around him and snuggle in an breath her words right into him, “thank you Roly. I couldn't have been alone, not tonight. Not without you,” to squeeze him tighter, “god, today has been so intense. I just feel shredded,” and yawn hugely. “Can we crawl into bed now, Roly?” To wait on his reply... as though holding her breath.

           He again felt that fear at what was taking place and couldn't help but feel. Things were getting out of control. The fantasy of her, now... all too real!

           That this had nothing to do, with Beth's actions. Roly, couldn't trust himself, insanity awaited. His five years, of forced celibacy. Was, taking toll! With all this, his past could just... unravel him. “Of course kitten,” he stroke, her hair, “we'll get you right in and you can snuggle with me, and everything will be alright... you'll see!” Roly got up, and fold the covers down... and waited for Bethany to slip her way, under the covers.

          The very act, accentuating her vulnerability. Her explicit trust, in him and all he could see. Were long firm legs and tender thighs, slipping tantalizing from sight. An then, to be jolted with accidentally gaining more of a view, than he'd a right to witness. Erotic crazy, like the picture... that had so, captivated him. Only now, it were a live thing. Waiting in his bed for comfort... to soothe her fears. Then to marvel, as her hair float out onto the pillow and spreading, like a cloud. Him aching for her beauty, her tenderness and with her youthful folly. Followed her under the covers... into this, totally unreasonable scenario praying not to lose his mind. Thank god, he owned a pair of pyjamas.

          It did, help...

          As soon as he turn off the lamp and settle in. She just slide over, and curl right into him, Even to throw a bare leg over him, catastrophically close. Her intoxicating warmth, almost too much to bare. She rub his chest over his pj top, an whisper, “oh that's nice, so fuzzy soft”, and swore he'd heard her purr! 'Jesus H Christ, this is just nuts', he thought, as electric shocks. Ran, through his entire body. He looked down, at the sheer radiant beauty of her. Laying in the crook of his arm and Beth... amazingly.

           This beautifully innocent child. Was, already blissfully... fast asleep. Her sweet breathing, slow and regular. But the feeling, of her young firm body... pressed against him. Searing, his soul. Roly knew, that Beth had no idea how all this close intimacy. Would effect any red blooded man. He lay there quite awhile and eventually, the panic began to wear off and he could more or less... think clearly again. Just as his arm was going to sleep, Beth roll over to face away from him and hug her pillow. To mutter something in her sleep, he couldn't quite make out. Her soft outline a dim shadow and still, Roly watch her and breath in her heavenly sleeping scent of oh so sweet musk.

          As only deep sleep, can weep... into the darkness of night and awaiting dreams.

         Thoughts, of the strange quality of this day. Roll maddeningly through his mind... preventing needed sleeps, release. From these extreme worries, about how all this had happened. Making him think about, what nice people her parents were, about Beth. Going to collage ahead of her time, on a account of her intelligence. Would Roly in doing this, just mess her the f**k up. Kill... her wondrous spirituality! He couldn't bare these thoughts as they were, and drifted off into weird mostly nightmare dreams.

         About angels and demons... and, him.         

         Stuck. In a battle of wills, with some faceless suckling w***e. In the grey between of love lost, horribly unrestrained malice she spat recriminations deed and heaped... fresh burdens. On the deserving soul. Roly stagger... ever on, through a horrid landscape of woven dementia. Moving. Always, moving on through, endless heart break and taunting failures of morality... that he would not, resist and when he awoke, it was in some disassociated questionable fog. No longer morning, but clearly early afternoon only adding.

        For this foreboding feel, to finally fade.

        To almost panic...

        He reach out and rub a cold pillow beside him, to find no Bethany there. Was that only a dream as well? Without even thinking he grab her pillow and hug it to his face, breathing in the fragrance of her hair. The craziness was still with him and he toss the offending pillow onto the floor, totally disgusted with himself for this lack of control. When things actually came into better than groggy focus. Roly heard noises out in other spaces somewhere and then, the clang of a pot and knew Bethany... his beautiful Angel. The memory of this vision so alive and breathless in his phyci, was in his kitchen. Doing some mysterious thing, although no too hard to guess at the possibilities.

           Off into the bathroom he went for a wash and dress in the same cloths, he'd worn the day before. Sniffing them, to see if they were all stinky and couldn't really tell. He figured they'd pass, an dress for the day in his hurry to get to the days work. Roly made his way directly into the kitchen, to see what exactly was going on in there.

           His heart... already pounding.

           Bethany, in deed was there and all the dishes and the mess they'd left, were all cleaned up. She was at the stove making omelets, to look over an say overtly cheery. “Hey, sleepy head, I was just going to come an get you for breakfast”! Roly, shook his head. She still wore only that huge tee shirt and on his following impossible long slender legs down. Seen that she'd donned her sport socks rolled down and had put her tennis shoes on. Noticed his checking her out, to look down an laugh. “What, looking at my get up”, laugh again, an take the fry pan off the burner. “Well, I more or less just got up too, and this is very comfortable attire and you know... I'm going to keep it, Roly”, she teased, an did. They had a passable omelet, toast and coffee and they're day started.

           Together...

 

Always moving on. The next stages of objectives, must be methodically arrived at.

The target, was paramount...

          That weekend, turned into only one of only many days together to follow. Bethany was no end of devious, she talk her parents into her moving into a small studio apartment on campus. To be closer to her school work she'd explained, and really set them into the idea. Saying she was finally making fast friends and she wanted to hang out with them more. Making her mother very happy as she had always worried that her Bethany, spent far too much time alone and needed to be out with friends more.

          So gladly, they accommodate her every whim. She was their only daughter, after all. Roly only thinking... that they were way too trusting and not just a little too gullible. He didn't complain, as every available moment she wasn't at school. She was hanging out with her friends. The plural, a small lie. In reality, hanging with her only friend. Roly Syrus Peterson.

Bethany, was very seldom in that studio apartment and her parents never did catch on. Even the sleep overs in her huge tee shirt pj's and sleeping with Roly, repeat itself quite often. By now he couldn't care less, about those fears forgotten. Beth made sure of that and Roly was treated as her best, most only beloved friend on the planet. Bethany, was now no longer lonely. Roly knowing, a hole in her soul had been satisfied. He was even convinced, every thing was even AOk, with him. He wasn't crazy... only deeply in what might be referred to as... thoroughly, in the throws of possession with the divine.

          The painting, the one and only project that made him... live and breath.

          Creating, his Angel!

          Bethany, he knew never realized just how intricate this working procedure would be. She only had the lightning fast first portrait to compare with. There were regular photo sessions and for awhile, it was like she didn't have clothes or spend much time in them, at least. Then, she was his handy dandy photo assistant. Learning about lighting, direct and indirect and how to set up flash umbrellas for various types of effect. Loading cameras and what film were used for what and exposure times, for both colour and black and white. Spent long hours with Roly in the development lab processing that film, till he felt she could do most of it in her sleep. Then the slow process of the photo gallery, viewing their handiwork... his passion, Bethany nude! For Beth to say her head spun with the seeing herself from so many poses, angles, perspectives, all this. She'd almost complained to Roly of and he only to tell her... 'this is the work, Bethy... our end objective'!

          Sometimes, when she was away keeping up her grades and Volleyball sport date commitments. Roly, missed her horribly. The odd time, he'd go out for coffee and see friends, but always leave early. Explaining he had to get back to his studio and work, to forget the fact that Beth was not there and immerse himself... in their project. Spent hours meditating on the setting scene, that was now becoming clear to him. A reality seen in his minds eye and knew, it was time to begin the canvas preparations. As soon as Beth, could free herself. This being one of the times, she were away out of town for a game. He knew also, that he could do all of that himself but he'd made a firm commitment with her. It was her work too and Roly, needed for Bethany to be completely involved in the creation of this Master Work.

          He'd had a vision, about a certain stylized divan. That would be the setting to hold Beth's repose, in middle frame. Roly'd gotten ready and headed out, to have a look around the neighbourhood. As their were not a few antique stores, thrift stores and second hand furniture stores close about. Roly was quite prepared, to spend the whole day looking and probably. Not find one! The first store he was going to look in, was a block and a half away.  

           Roly turn the corner and... there it was!

           The exact Divan, of his vision? Right in that grubby little stores, front window.

           In a hour and half and he was locating the divan... in it's exacting placement, by the huge rack of windows he'd installed himself. Starting overhead, then wrap around and came down to almost floor level. Suppling his studio, with its needed source of natural light.

           And Roly, hearing babble...

 

Not listening fool. You must. Act... save her, save her from yourself! Divans, a trap...

A for-telling. Paris W***e! Oh God, oh god. F**k. Can't hear, won't.

The end, must be ascertained, final... hopeless?

Wake up, lover boy, Lost & Engaged.

Carry on then... Idiot.

...

 

        

Reviews

[Angel Bird]

Very intense! Keeps the readers on their toes. Constantly on the edge, you really know how to keep us in suspense. Excellent chapter!

[Coyote Poetry]

Some temptation need to be kept way from you. Take great strength to push away a beautiful woman. The chapter was so good. You create a vision of beauty and a interesting situation. A excellent chapter. Thank you.
Coyote