Every artists Dream

to actually find his muse and indulge in the finding, of pure. Madness.

 

        For most of those two years past. Beth, had been missing. She was last spotted, in the mall on her way to meet with her boyfriend Terry and, had never arrived. After a year. The police had changed her file, from a missing person, to presumed dead by deduced abduction and foul play. A theoretical homicide. That would remain, an open case file and one detective... in particular. Swore, he'd never give up on Bethany Edwards. Was in fact, a best friend of Bethany's father Harold and from their church. Even Roly was investigated, because he'd painted her.

       The once, they'd known about at any rate.

       Thank god... for that!

       His Master work, had still only been viewed by him. His wife... and Beth.

       On it'd went for three days dead drunk. Ravaged by that image of Bethany, throwing back her hair and beg... to have those two huge men. Penetrate, her being! How had she gotten to that, just how could the wonder of the Beth he know... 

        Allow that, to be done to her?

        Had his relationship, with her. Somehow contributed to this sick end? Round and round, these questions and images swam through his tortured besotted consciousness... endlessly! Till finally, in a drunken rage. Had gone back to that mansion, pounding on the door and being answered, by his wife? Who wasn't, but a mistress and to him then. An evil looking woman. Like a ghoul vampire seductress. Which in its self, was sobering and when rich dickhead did come out. Perv... was severely distressed and god awful, angry. He'd closed the door and taken Roly, further out into the yard. Roly drunk, couldn't give a s**t about his pleading to calm down. As he screamed at him, for the DVD and his drunken intentions, made plain.

        That he, Roly Syrus Peterson...

        Was going to destroy it! That ugly rendition of a thing, so beautiful.

        It came down to 'The Man' making threats. Reminding Roly, just who he was messing with and just how... he was connected. Did Roly, really want to find him self in a ditch some where and a dark someone, put a big a*s gun to the back of his head. While he said goodbye to his world... his Art! Of course he didn't, and left. Without the DVD and a standing burning desire. To kill that a*****e for that one last threat, alone. His art world ending? Because a worthless piece of garbage, like that. Pervert!

        So now, this is how it sat. A week later and still drinking.

Wondering, how to resolve this revelation. Should he go to the police?

        Go tell her suffering parents, their darling daughter was alive and well... somewhere in the universe. Making extremely hard core Pornos?

        None of these solutions, were in the least viable...

        His relationship, with their daughter was enough of a guilt and deep regret. Now... even more so. Remembering, how unreasonably he'd been in love with Beth... a minor. Had gotten involved in the classic Lolita trap... an artist doing the unthinkable, but it had happened. He'd been scared to death during the investigation of Beth's disappearance. That this committed Detective Burns would find him out and then... he really would have seem suspect... This in its self. Ruled out, going to the police with what he now knew. A happenstance. That seemed, to have no recourse... that Roly, could see!

Deeper Dreads

       Memories, now flooded into that tortured consciousness. Of just how it all had began, with his now soiled image of the innocent Bethany Angela Edwards. To contend and live with, forever... remembering his going to a local modelling agency, that was dealt with to procure live models to paint. Some for nudes, and others... just for subject study. He'd noted a new models picture and ask to view her portfolio, and was then. Instantly captivated and experienced, a more than strong desire. To paint her... this remarkable woman child.

      That radiate, such innocent purity.

      It would be as purely a subject study, as her age and particulars were listed. Not to mention, parental consent forms and an actual, parental meeting. Before any modelling could take place. Roly, knowing that this was reasonable, and very wise. Bad things can happen, in this messed up world... to under age young girls!

Oh god... the differences, between. The Zen and How?

But Roly, swallow these recriminating thoughts, and pushed on.

With his, god forsaken... memories.

        Roly had made the appointment, and met with her parents. They'd come to the loft and he show them, samples of his work. A beautifully pure, and hopelessly young Bethany Edwards, sat demurely by all the while. Smiling with a radiant loveliness... and.

       Unmistakable charm.

       Obviously, interested in the man. The artist and his unique studio. Reflected, in her wonder blue eyes of unreadable changes in her looking about. Enchanted, by what she thought to be an incredible space. Then had commented, quite passionately on with a very articulate choice, in her use of language. Making Roly, rather nervous with her youthful enthusiastic attentions and... their effect, on him.

        The meeting went very well, and what was to be an exercise for Roly, in subject form. Became, a direct commission. Her parents explained, with some pride. That Bethany, were graduating from private Prep School and preparing to go to collage. Because of her academic achievement... Beth, was to enter collage almost two years ahead of the norm.

Obvious, to Roly. Their love for their beautiful only daughter... their Bethany.

        Was paramount.

        Telling him, they hoped Bethany continue with academia, and not go into modelling. As she then had expressed an interest in, but had made plain. That it was for to her to decide. Needless, to say. Roly was very impressed, with this outcome. He had his subject practise, would make money and... get to spend time. With an exceedingly lovely, young woman! Who seemed, for sure. To be quite out of the ordinary. Being not only beautiful... but intelligent, as well. It more than intrigued him, to have met her.

        After they'd left, her appeal as a paint-able subject. Would not leave his mind and he couldn't think of the last time. He'd been so excited over a model, not since his days of art study in Paris had Roly been so enthusiastic, about a commission. It was thoroughly.  

        Refreshing...

        Bethany held to a very regal poise, and modelling career she could have. Although, her height appear slightly under the super model range. He also thought, she'd probably not finished with growing her figure type. Would fill out, to become more the bikini Sports Illustrated type deal. Her breasts, were neither small nor large. An average c cup he'd estimated, on short preview. The type, that stood up with no visible line beneath. He'd imagined disturbingly, for the kind of artist. He then considered himself to be. In person, to say this young woman were merely, pretty. Would be, grossly... understated!

         In that first artist study of her, she'd stolen Roly's breath away. Her hair, shone a golden natural sun-streaked, Auburn. Thick, luxurious... and, in that meeting. Had wore it in a loosely pilled... French braid. Roly, could hardly wait for that wondrous hair, to be let down. To float about, that heart shaped face to paint... her needing, no makeup ever. To spoil, that overall complexion. Like, rich pale cream. And, a natural rouged blush. Dusting, high set cheek bones... and, almost an invisible sprinkling of freckle. Run rosy, cheek to cheek. Across, a small sharp delicate... up turn of a well blending, cute button nose. That shortly flow into lush, Classic Roman lips. As though chiseled, in statuary. Their detail, so defined. As to be, in a permanent pout. In a range, the colour... of ripe peach. Moist, with morning dew. These, gifted to a girl... where a strong curl, of smile. Came easily to perfection!

        A sampling of life, in pure pleasure. That drew up... the morning sun.

        As it reflected, the same promise. Through large almond shaped, startling cobalt blue eyes. The colour of 'springtime skies'. Where that sun, rose upon the clear dawn, and... strongly, eyelashed long. The mostly same colour, as her gorgeous waves of locks... but, a half tone darker. The same tone, as those winsome lashes. As full natural eyebrows, gently arch. Giving, this Bethany a look... so unique!

        So, mind numbingly.

        Beautiful...

        It hurt, to take in such natural wonder. And... upon reflection. To have lived to behold... Angels taken from a bountiful life and be irrevocably maimed? Monstrous! Roly, being lost and remembering, her every detail. Every subtle nuance, of her precious mannerisms... being burnt. Into his creative soul. Her boundless beauty, undeniable... and so far beyond any could view of Beth's outer attributes and endowments. How could one, even begin. To combine all the wonder... of such a gifted spirit. As it encompass such spontaneity.

        Within the totality in a person, of such promise!

        God, in his granting. Had given Beth, too much.

        So much so. It could be such a woeful burden... to be so beautiful. To be countered, by her laugh... so musical. Her emotions... so open, honest and giving. Loving life so abundantly. Childlike! It was all, again too much. An Roly sob once again and put up a hand, to hide from himself. Hot tears, of heart sick burden. That roll, so freely down his face and in his minds eye... only her face.

        Bethy's face!

Her wonder. Her god given grace of personality, so pure. In his Artistic Eye, as he'd first seen it. Evaluated, for arts sake... and gradually. Bethany, brought him back around. To this, fated union of remorse. Bringing, this remembrance. To the surface. Even though it cover, ever deeper dread.

      Merging upward... from, their dark depths!

Deeper Dwellings

 

As his memories... became sharper. And, the experiences.

Expressed now. Poetic, like to his very soul!

'Real Time'... events. In Roly Syrus Peterson's. Home.

        Beth, had then shortly thereafter that initial first meeting. Came to fill Roly's studio, with an ambient individual intellectual presence... as dazzling, as her looks. All contained, within her bubbling youthful enthusiasm and carried in what Roly felt. Were quasi professional, modelling skills. Although for her youth, were very dynamic and again strikingly. Individual. Doing preliminary sketches and modelling photos, had only taken a couple of sessions. After which, Beth had hung around enjoying some intellectual talk, having tea and all around, delighted with what was to her. A kind of novel event in her everyday world. Very unlike, most modelling she'd done in he past for catalogues and whatnot.

         It was obvious to Roly, and cute. That Bethany, stretched these sessions out as much as she could with their sometimes philosophical talks. That seem, so mature beyond her years, her intellect sharp as a tack, quite engaging and not afraid to argue when she felt she were right. In any given topic she was passionate about. Her knowledge of history, outstripped Roly's and never a strong suit of his anyway. But when she got her teeth into a period of time, and its story. Felt he could almost listen to her forever. When, sometimes reluctantly... brought back to model. Again, not that Roly mind at all their having these deep discussions, but Beth was well on her way. To becoming much more professional.

         She took direction in her elegant poise extremely well and was photogenic, beyond reasonable belief! Especially, when wonder locks of golden hair float loose and then, her modelling skills. Came alive and there poised in these developed photos, like living beauty... frozen in Space & Time and for Roly. Then... gave reasoning, to be an Artist.

        He'd found his muse... the inspiration of a lifetime.

        Their two sessions, turned into four...

        As Bethany loved the sketches, but was exceedingly excited... to come back and view these developed photos and, its to her. Magical processes. Roly figured, Bethany's dissatisfaction with 'not quite the right one'! Was just an excuse, to come to the studio and experience the vibe in Roly's life. To visit, hang out. To laugh and be... happily beautiful!

        They were fast becoming, friends.

Bethany, had complained to Roly that unbelievably. She didn't have a lot of friends, they were either afraid of her intellect or, intimidated by her looks. Well, Roly could relate to and understand that. He enjoyed their company together as much as she did, in their laughing and really. Taking a lot of unnecessary pictures. All of which, being her coming after school and the portrait... to be of her. In her private school uniform. So all of the pictures, were Bethany modelling an amazing combination of sessions. In that school girl outfit, without repetition. Which, to Roly. Was a real feat, all in and of its self. On their final session, they were more or less... just artistically goofing off. And Roly shot off a roll, with the fast frame motor drive attached on the Nikkon. Just to experiment, with light and possible blur effects and, more or less for creative fun. Bethany, just loved it and abandon herself to the shoot!

        Roly had really missed it during that shoot, but during his developing of... 'that roll'. One frame in particular, had for some reason captured his interest. It wasn't blurred and the motion caught in the swing of her pleated plaid skirt was spectacular, with Beth's sensuous flowing form. Captured... between an odd sort of unintentional poise and Roly, witness it again. Suspended Time & Space. The revealed back lighting outlines through her softly glowing radiant white blouse, he witness. A vague shadow curvature... of imagined swelling breath. Preciously accentuating... her youthfully upturn, of a nymph like breast. A total linearizion and, a very scintillating emphasis. It was!

         Beth, had worn no bra for this shoot. This particular shot, held that subtle accent in suspension and making its nebule appeal. All the more engaged. Roly, found himself blush.   

         'Oops, oh my'!

         The unreadable, expression on Bethany's partially lite face was as such. So as to be to him, weirdly.... Ethereally Mystic in its impressionism. Through a frozen arc of that gorgeous haloed hair... layers of shade and shadow, in contrasted rainbowed glimmering spectrums. Golden cascades of brilliant... what? Lucidity... in such minute, detail! Giving Roly soul shaking shivers... so piquant, was its focus. Inexplicably, innocent... so totally. Angelic!

        A vision that held, Roly. Suspended.

        An imprisoned shivering. And, man... it held him by the short hairs!

        Yet something, in the totality of that frame. Held even more sexual overtones, somehow. Roly began to study it harder, as it was now dry. Out on the bench and under his large lite, magnifying glass. At which point, he gasp and almost destroy that picture... right there. The swing, in the skirt. Expose too much bared thigh, in its just so motions outward turn. So provocative and looking at the photo, in some casual regular manner. It was almost not immediately apparent, but the focus and light direction. Would follow up that exposing thighs graduating length and the viewer. Would undoubtabley discover, its femme-fetal flaw...

Within the depths of textured layer, a small unmistakable glow of whites triangle. A very detailed glint of Bethany's panties protection, comes summarily to focus. The rolling fold of that skirt in motion, almost tricking the eye and hiding it.

       But, it was there.

       With the unbelievable lights effective guidance, it was: Exact and Explicit. That exhibitions placement, where it was just too erotically 'revealing'. Primal, in its attraction... this naturally erotic representation of unintentional trick in focal manipulations, result... like a realization, of scandalous resolve.

        At least to some... like, Beth's parents!

        'S**t'... his reaction, to that thought.

        Though, it lack detail in the size that Roly'd developed off the negative. He automatically went into the set-up, for blowing up that frame at double the magnification. Believing, if someone got a hold of this picture. This action, just may be the outcome of other someones. Who somehow had gotten a hold of this, well. Potentially erotic material, featuring a minor. As it was in and of its self, an amazing shot. Without the flawed deal and its potential titillation factor so blatantly, front and centre.

         He'd now had spent the whole day on this particularly, engaging project. The result, making him immediately aghast. At this magnification, it was now overtly sexual titillation! Roly, had seen his share of photos, depicting the school girl fixation. But this wasn't a staged modelling, of a mindless representation of stupid male fantasy. This, was an innocent school girl... for real. Caught unknowingly, in sheer innocent happenstance. A girl, Roly knew for a fact had led a sheltered very cultured life and definitely a virgin... as pure, as the driven snow. It was written there plainly, on Bethany's angelic face. That had caught the lighting in such a naturally expressed, Virginal Way. That Roly knew a Master painter, would die to represent such fresh innocence. If not... for exposed, details. Roly'd immediately, crave painting this wonder... so seductively hidden, in its taunt and purely erotic.

         This, forbidden desires...

         Temptation!

          A devilling thought, the fact of which. Roly, at that time and frame of mind could not contend. Again, Roly considered destroying the negative and the now two, developed pictures. Disgusted with himself, at the effect the blow up was having on him and how it captivated him. For as long as this one frame had. To the point of stirring his loins... and still, could not turn away. Roly, was no saint that was a fact. But, he was no pervert either. If anyone ever got a hold of this picture... being of the wrong frame of mind? His spirit, seemed to sag with fatigue. As an Artist, Roly wouldn't be able to live with himself and finally. Just left the developing lab with both developed pictures, hanging in stage lighting and went to get s**t-faced... in his favourite chair.

        The next morning, he awoke with a decision and, a hangover. He could live with.

        Roly, was an artist... and the totality of the picture. Would remain. The glorious lighting and that angelic face could never be destroyed. He could not bring himself... to do it. The almost fatal flaw, Roly... prayed he could ignore. And hopefully, not have the effect on him that it had the night before. It did not turn out to be the case.

        Although, almost no one ever did see, those two pictures...

        He still had them... and view them. With a guilt ridden, sadness, he could not contain. In the horrendous missing of his Bethany... his angel!

         The parents, approved of his and Bethany's choice from photos and sketches presented. After a wonderful dinner... that'd been Beth's idea. Wanting her parents, to get to know Roly better and they did. Especially, after Bethany's disappearance. Her Mother Nancey, had confided in him that she almost couldn't have lived through that period of her life. If it hadn't been for Roly's, constant compassion and... empathetic companionship!

 

Only riddling his grief and guilt, driven deeper...

Into a long list, of a life and times.

Of need and regret.

 

       Although, this was a sparkling event, and the family could hardly wait for the resulting portrait. Beth, somewhat miffed. When Roly, told her she could not visit till the painting was complete. To explain to her no one ever viewed his work, Till it was finished and properly presented. That the workings of such was for him, a solitary endeavour and he couldn't have any distractions... in his creative process. But told her not to worry, as he painted very fast... once all the preliminary details had been established. It didn't seemed to have helped any an Beth, still looking miffed. Even as he walk out the door and on...

       Roly, saying to himself as he left.

 

On to... the next objective. Always, no matter what. Move on...

The objective, lay before you. And, times wheel.

Will not wait.

         As promised, it took no time at all. Some, if not all of the background work as was his style. Was already done. Three days later, Bethany answered the door and in seeing the wrapped delivery which was obviously, her portrait. First, she froze standing there still holding the doorknob. Her eyes as big as saucers and Roly, to tell her. “Told ya, I was fast”! Which broke the spell. For her to show her age, and jump up and down with glee clapping her hands as her parents came to the door. To see, what were going on. They as well, amazed. That only three days before, they'd approved of this very portrait.

        That appropriately, now hung above their homes fireplace. Not knowing, since its inception. While he'd done those preliminary sessions with their daughter, had in his workshop been creating a classical frame, done by his own hand in gold leaf. Which, very much suited the decor, in their living-room. Harold Edwards, being a corporate lawyer and Nancy his wife, a surgical nurse. Were not even radically wealthy, by any means. But they're careers, had served their small family... very well. Now, the portrait of their only daughter...   

         Hung forever, in their hearts. In a place of family honour.

 

A testament to Bethany Angela Edward's excellence in education.

Captured forever. Their pride and joy, and their... deepest scar.

Of unimaginable, remorse!

Thanks to 'Roly Syrus Peterson'...

       At that unveiling. Bethany, shone with the rest of her family. At this marker... in their world. Getting and receiving, loved hugs all round. Taking family pictures in front of that almost exact likeness of her youth, above the mantle. Her real beauty exposed, and in a sad. Sort of nostalgic way... a moving on. To pass little girl dreams, the losing of her childhood imaginations. Of fairytale kingdoms and brilliant, knights...

 

Oh god, oh god.. the tears, flow

Saving princesses, in distress. Set away, relegated to the past. Oh god.

Oh god, if only.. Sobbing, gut wrenching... Sins. Of self beguiling, resolutions!

 

       When she'd hugged Roly, he'd felt that sentiment. As a womanly spark dazzle her eyes and in the way she looked, right into him. As a man! Scaring the crap out of him, Bethany A. Edwards loved him. Her parents, he noted. Seemed oblivious, to that which to him was so unmistakably obvious.

 

Oh, God!

Move now. Damn, your eyes... Act!

His fingers, gripping his chair.

Ignore, the cursed demand.

        Believing their daughter, only exceedingly happy with what to them was a master work, and to Roly. Only a knock off, commission he'd spent some small extra time on. To savour... a daughters time. Harold, already had a check ready and was for more, than the amount settled on. For him it was a tip for a job well done, and the presentation still in front of that portrait. With a firm Gentleman's handshake.

        Good deal, job done. Happy clients. Time to book it before he freaked out. But Bethany, begged her parents... to let them go out for a milkshake, or some such thing and wanted to thank Roly. As her own special artist, in her own way. Now that her portrait was finished... and maybe, their intimate time alone together as well. They didn't even hesitate, to allow their daughter to celebrate in any manner Bethany chose. Trusting 'goodnight' they shook hands and Roly, took their daughter out...

        Into the night.

        Though... later in time, Nancy had asked of him in wondering after such a happy event. Why had Beth, come home and 'cry in her bedroom, all night'? He unabashedly, told her. What had taken place, that evening. They did go out for shakes and... it became uncomfortable for Roly. As her lovely daughter, had declared to him... her undying. Love! Tried to hold his hand and made what he felt, were inappropriate advances in a restaurant full of people, staring at them. Roly, had to tell Bethany... that it was only a school girl crush. That she would have to 'get over it'. That yes, they could be friends. But he was by far... much too old for Beth. He didn't get as far, as his next statement...

Which, would have been a pretty good statement he figured.

'Don't worry... little one! Some day, some really gorgeous hunk of a young man.

Will find you Bethany. And, you'll find... true love'!

        This... he'd told her distraught mother, Nancy Jane Edwards. But poor Bethany... on that very special evening was crying, emotionally panicking and yelling, 'it's just not true, Roly. You'll never, be too old for me'! To run from that crowed sceptical, made in the restaurant. So fast, Roly just couldn't keep up with her, and Beth... being only two blocks from home. He had left it at that and sadly... went home. To a horribly empty loft. Her mother Nancy, with this exposure. Only became more enamoured, with her idea of Roly Peterson. An artist and for her... some kind of saviour.

 

God, if she only knew. He had to tell that, to Bethany!

He, was falling in love. With, an erotic picture.

He'd had, drives. That, could not be...

Contained.

 

       Already... daydreamed more, than a lot about painting Bethany nude.

       Capturing that classical innocence of the Eternal Nymph.

       Held captive within the essence... of that damnable picture!

 

Knowing that, if the impossible were to become real. It would be A Master Work.

Knowing, that this... he could not, then do.

His desire, to paint Bethany again.

Was, overcoming.

Reason...

Reviews

[Angel Bird]

Again a very captivating chapter, even though I don't feel well with the theme here, as I always want to protect young innocent beings... other than that it is extremely well written and delivers a plausible reason to not immediately go to the police.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very strong chapter. To be a Artist being surrounded by beauty. Would allow the mind to wander to many corridors. The artist battle to stay focus make the story seem real and alive. I like the complete chapter. I will read on.
Coyote