Awareness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Web

 

of

Possibility

 

Alignment

Transcending, Realms of Limitation

This, whatever it is. Is not linear or even a cyclical type of story, or dissertation. Maybe, it is more like a testimonial. So like the beginning, of the fractal image, as it is fed into the computer  as a complex mathematical formula. It starts, at a point and grows in all directions at once. In its unique replicating pattern. The very idea, of the infinite. Is difficult, to comprehend. Yet, given no definable limitation of space this induced pattern, would from that point. Never stop, in its replication...

We, are like that. Each and every individual is a solitary and totally distinct... pattern. No two finger prints, are a like. In contrast, all of us share exactly the same perceptions in as stated. To contend with the manifest physical creation and all the limitations as such, in that experience we will learn to assimilate and intergrate with. Each and every one of us, will attain some thing entirely different with exactly the same tools and operative equipment and  in this, we are a species. In the same manner, as The Animal Kingdom and in fact. This realm, is added on and incorporated into us as sense perception. As are all the other Kingdoms of our world, the mineral and vegetable. All of these, we share as an organism of our world. Although these levels of creation, all have thier vibrational wave length and have thier own measure and cycle of life. What separates the Human Kingdom, is our ability to Reason. 'A rock does not need to know, why it exists'! (It may, and I have no way of knowing that. I do apologize to all the rocks of the world, if they are sentient... and I, did not realize this) Well if so, then that rock would have raised up, and transcended...

The realm, of its predisposed. Limitation.

Another First nations teacher that I had had, told me once quite mystically, “there is a reason for everything and everything, has a reason!" Well that was a dandy figure eight, to chew on. Yet in time, I began to see it was not so simple a statement, as it first appear. Me meeting all these people that had read the same books, thought about similar things and had found their lives contain a seekers path  and there may have been a reason for that. Another sort of statement, I'm going to interject at this juncture, As I'd had another conversation with a like minded soul as he an I, were sharing an immensely interesting, conversation. To blurt out the following, that would just stick in my head maddeningly for years an years, after asking me what I thought 'individuality' meant. Well, I came up with all the standard sort of fair. For him to nod and carry on with, “you know, some one told me once, that it meant in divided duality”! End of conversation, and we sat back to drink our coffee and reflect on that one. Realizing, that our actual knowing was pretty limited on that idea...

Once more, I travel to the past.

I was in grade three and seven, turning eight. My Dad worked for BC Hydro and had taken me out in his really boss 4x4 Dodge Power Wagon work truck. To even let me mess with its CB radio and given me a walkie talkie, to use with him for the day. He was my hero that day for sure and, he had saved the best for last. We went through mountain back roads and came out on the Hydro Dam, he was working on. We walk around and explain how it all worked and ending with a puzzle to tell me, that yes we have electricity and we have knowledge of how to use it. But no one truly knows, what electricity is? Mystified, man my Dad could do that... but mostly.

It all had, a reason.

As a little guy before our family fell apart, my Dad was my first teacher and somewhat of a hot rodder. At a stop sign one day an ask me what does stop mean, to point at the stop sign. Aha, another trick question and I proudly give him straight up, my best answer. “Nope”. He laughs, “it means, Spin Tires On Pavement!", to put er down and lite up the tires and burn rubber past that stop signs intersection. (Really, this is just an interlude to reminisce about my Dad). Another time, he sits me down seriously to have one of those, man to little man talks. He has something really important to tell me, ok I'm all ears an really Fatherly kind of attentive. Says very seriously, “Son, we are aliens”! Well TV in the sixties was chalk full of shows, like lost in space and flying saucers an all. My eyes were as round as saucers, to blurt. “Did we come from outer space, in a flying saucer Dad?", already thinking, 'boy, wait'll I tell my friends'! He gave my head a shag, to say 'no'. I had recently done that testing with that recruiter and the results and all had come through. He explained that he had a gift, and so did I. That my gift was similar to his and that he had a photographic memory, and mine rated as partially so...

To explain that I wouldn't be leaving home to that school, and neither would the school. Be putting me forward grades. He said, that having these gifts isn't easy and at times you may feel lonely and people, may have trouble understanding you. To explain that at times his gift, made him feel alienated and that I might experience that too. “So in a way, me an you are aliens kiddo. Do you understand?" I nod my head knowingly and off to play, and of course. It was just my Dad and had really no idea what he was talking about. But hey, I figured well he is my Dad and he must have had a reason... to explain, all that? All around the same time and possibly, within a two week period. I had my first truly mystical experience.

 

I lived one block down from school and was late almost everyday because of that. Not the point really, as it was after school puttering about in puddles on a drizzly day with my Gum Boots on. I had passed a large ant hill in our alley, right on the corner of the street. I study them awhile, I thought about watching my Dad get rid of ants in the yard, to pour gas on the mound and 'poof'... no more ants! So hey, I should do the world a favour an get rid ah this one. Or course, I could have went home an got lawn mower gas, and got a real beating for it. Not a good idea, so I figured water would do the trick. After all,  Dad had shown me that humongous earthen mound dam, I could do that and proceeded to build a dam. Blocking the rain water coming down the hill, next to the curb. It was working and building up quite nicely, I might add.

Stage two, I need to engineer this just right. So that when the water released, it would flood right on into that there ant pile. I was thoroughly satisfied, with my labours and proud of its adaptations and had it right to the point of no return, and as I was about to go loose that dam. A voice in my head said, 'why would you want to do that?' Well, with out thinking I answer right back in my head about my Dad getting rid of ants, an all. 'Did you know, there is a whole Kingdom under there that you are going to destroy?', that voice said. I answer, 'Well no, I hadn't really thought of it that way'... 'It's true, look'!

Worlds, within worlds. Without, end...

It was just like one of those glass ant farms, this picture in my mind. Who ever, this was. Was now showing me zoomed in lessons on all the different kinds of ants, that lived there in their underground Kingdom. How there were worker ants, who went out and gathered food and another type, that only dug thier tunnels and Soldier ants that protected and fed the Queen of their Kingdom. To go on to explain, that ants had a short life but they were very busy and really strong, for their tiny size. It was a very in depth lesson of these there ants, to then finally ask me. 'Are you sure now, that you want to destroy their world'? Put like that, well I was mortified. Now that I knew this about their neat little world... I could never do that. In this, my Dad was wrong! This was a really cool world they had. To this day, I have a feeling for ants and well, most insects.

 

Well somehow, this lesson didn't stop at that and it went on into different lives, and Kingdoms. The major aspect that sticks in my mind, was it being historical and all about Kingdoms... Human Kingdoms, conquering one another in contests of war. It went from sort of the beginning, I guess. With this voice in narration explaining, as we went. I seen Genghis Khan and his hordes galloping across the steppes, burning and pillaging, Alexander The Great in his sweep through the lower Mediterranean, Napoleon rampage through Europe and into Russia and  came to WWI & II...

 

By that segment, I was totally involved in this vision. To suddenly get a slap up side the head. I looked up startled, squatted there in front of the Ant pile. It was my Dad, “why are you staring there at the ground, like that?", he was angry, supper was ready and he'd came home from work, and no me? To send all the kids out in different directions, to look for me. “You shouldn't kill ants, Dad”! Popped out rather harshly... It was almost seven O'clock, I had been it that state for probably two an a half hours. Squatted there, staring at this ant pile. I tried to explain to my Dad about this voice and vision stuff, but hewas tired, hungry and wasn't having any of it. Dragging me down the alley and off to bed without supper, I went. My Mom did bring me up a glass a milk and a sandwich, to sit beside me, an listen interestedly to my whole story. To tell me, that of course she believed me... Mom had similar things, happen to her.

From that day forward, I spent as much time as I could. Blowing away our school librarian! She went to my teacher and if my class work, was all caught up... our librarian, had a student. She became my history teacher. I needed to know, who all these people were I'd been shown... in this, what. Vision?

There must have been a good reason, for all ah that?

It wasn't too much longer after that, our family life altered radically. For me it was truly puzzling and, prior to that. My entire world, was involved in learning and school. From grade five onward, I had forgotten most all of that. It was lost, to trauma. I come up again against this black spot. A void, in my memory, that was so particular. It was an unrealized event, that had severely limited. My world. I then had learning blocks, behavioural disorders, going entirely Delinquent Rebel, with out a Clue! There was a something, in me, that no matter what I did. I could not transcend it. I quit school, in grade nine. Ran away from home, hit the City streets of Victoria British Colombia where we lived, after coming back from Mexico. That story is involved, and is coming around in all this, somewhere. I got heavily involved in hard drugs, and crime. Pretty much angry and lost, until again I was twenty three and I hit my largest limitation. I hit a wall. I could not go any further, without dying. I had worked, sold drugs and had a great girlfriend. Who is still my best friend today. Yet, I couldn't keep jobs. I tried, and somehow. Just could not be... like others, and having quite one world, by degrees. I was aligning, myself...

with a path

to, quite another...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

A journey, have you made one similar?

Reviews

[Ruth]

Stranger things have happened! I believe we all have journeys inside but people are too frigtened to admit it!

"“Son, we are aliens”! ".......interesting! Wouldn't surprise me in the least! Although, I do worry, if we are, what after death? Where does our energy go? Guess it returns to the ether?! Now, look what you have done! Got me thinking - travelling my own path again lmao

xx