God

All

in

Everything

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Qualifiers...

In a sequential, time line. As I write this, I'm in what would be termed as middle aged.

A period of reminiscent preponderance, that time spent reflecting... moving backward through personal histories. As in a manner, I have to. In a healing cycle, from a violent event in childhood. That had left me, with a blank spot. Something missing in my time line, and. A mystery. That had left me with suffering most of my life with behavioural problems, and at times sever depressions, bouts of drug and alcohol abuse as a young teen on into my early twenties. Having moments of clarity, and rational wonderment as to the why I was doing this. Dreams, were sometimes the clue. Yet, I could never somehow put it all together.

Like many children today. I suffered through a parental marriage failure, ending in divorce. It was an emotionally violent separation, and in the main over the years. Had thought, this was the cause of my deep set problem. Possibly another anger, to add to a long list. One, I had missed an opportunity at an educated life. As a child, I was put through testing by a recruiter from St Michaels University School, in Victoria British Colombia. To qualify, for their gifted children's program. The Okanagan School Board, had contacted them about me. As I was far too advanced, for the grade level. I was in. It was that, or skip me grades. As I finished all of my years work and then, only disrupting their classes...

Out of boredom!

My Father, opted for neither option. Not wanting me away from home in a boarding school environment and felt, that putting me in with older children. Would further alienate me. My Father had a totally photographic memory, and it was a genetic trait. From his Laplander heritage. In that testing, I was rated. To have, a partially photographic memory. Having this trait, did to some degree alienate me from say normal mainstream. Mostly, I grew up pretty much thinking everyone was like me. Several of life's lessons, has taught me. Other wise... By hind sight, I know. That if I would have had a different childhood. The potential opportunity, was there. To reach a higher level of intellectual achievement.

In the collapse of family, I suffered nervous exhaustion and was hospitalized having experienced a seizure. I was living with my now single parent Mother in the midst of this violent divorce. There was a period where I just stopped talking for three months, it was a difficult test for all parties concerned. To follow with a life of confused states, rebellious behaviour and those problems... previously mentioned.

It wasn't until I was twenty three, that I stopped that life and began to search for the why. in well. 'The all, in everything'! Happenstance was, that I had to face my world. Head on... or die. My drug and alcohol abuse, I had realized. Was a death wish. I as well had had one serious brush, with the idea of suicide. All the confusion and not getting anywhere in life, as other people I observed normally would. I knew something was wrong, and there need be a better reason. Then the ones... I had so far developed.

A series of events, transpired. That it seemed, were solely for me. Like something pulling me, to some resolve. Again, with hindsight. Can acknowledge, that it was a direct engagement. To my, questioning.

How can an answer. Be arrived at, without a question?

This is just simple logic. I accepted this as a challenge, and it became. A personal, quest. For truth. At twenty three, everything was challenged. I held a pretty varied list, of things. I would have liked to have, revealed to me. In this, 'all and everything'. In the asking. I did receive a number of answers to family dilemmas, and without the influence of drugs and alcohol. I began to be more psychologically balanced. I more or less, taught my self to read and write again. Began to write songs and poetry. Expressing the deep nature of the realities. I was then pondering. I had arrived at a state where I realized that for me. God, was a reality. I followed some strong inner prompting to just follow where my Spirit led me. It was a time, of a kind of Mystical wonder. At times, having to retreat from conditions of circumstance, and suffer again. Bouts, of withdrawal and depression...

Diving deep, into the well... of self.

Again I go back, and remember. That when I was a child, I would experience at times. Laying in bed and trying to do as told and go to sleep. It was bed time and all the preparation had led to this result to experience a sensation that really in a way, worried me. I would have this sensation, of shrinking and expanding. Feel as though, I was miles away inside myself at some center and yet, cognizant. That my head, lay on the pillow. While this strange sensation, had hold of me. To at times accept it and in a way, marvel. At its experience. I asked my brothers and sisters if that happen to them and just get a shrug, or funny looks and a simple no. Then, I asked my Mom. Well part of this story, of my Golden Path. Has to do directly, with my Mother and won't go into it. As it is another story. In itself. Yet, what she told me. Just settled it out and it was entirely logical. She said, “did you know, that the whole world does this? It contracts and expands. It never shrinks further then it was, and always... Expands, to grow bigger. Of course, this takes a very long time. Maybe you can feel that and I think, thats wonderful”, to pat me on the head. “The world is just like you, and my little boy. Is getting bigger, all the time. Ok, now go play”!

To give you an example, of how my memory works. An event can happen in my life and if I choose, to remember it for some reason. I can picture the event, it comes back to me in my mind. In colour and can recall conversations, smells and sometimes sounds of the things. Going on, around that particular scenario. Well of course, I did just go out and play. It seemed, that a Mother's answers. Is the 'all an everything', for little boys anyway. The odd part is, I never experienced that again. Till I was twenty three, in those states of deep depression. I did at that time, find out that the world does in fact.

Contract and Expand...

One would think that with all the digging and displacement, an moving things around. That the world would be wearing down, getting smaller. Yet the opposite is true, even dust and particulate matter is created. Think about the archaeologist, digging up buried artifacts. This shows that the surface of the earth grows. The population of the planet, grows and shows. That we are an ever advancing civilization. We generate life. This life, as well. Adds matter, to the planet. Maybe a little rude to think of, but shed skin makes up 45% of ordinary dust. Along with the rest of ground down particulate matter, this is what in times compression, turns into soil and buried these artifacts. This researcher, is digging up. Even these collected, soil samples. Is assisting this scientist, to help determine what was taking place. In that point of history, in their study. Maybe it is a bit of word play and a stretch, but think of the contraction in this abstraction. As the friction, and movement created. That ground down the particulate matter... Hence... cause and effect. Has created the condition, for the surface of our planet. To expand!

The atmospheric diameter expands, as well and in proportion. To the rest of the solar system, galaxies and so on and so forth. As in relation, to the unseen. As air, is in relation to the naked eye. Is invisible. To cover, an even more esoteric idea. The statement, that we generate life. An individual, is a generator. We in our engaged action, create electricity. If you seen the movie Matrix, it came down to using humans as batteries. We generate a field around us and it had been by definition named our Aura. There is photography now, that can take pictures of it. We call the time line of select periods of time, as Generations of People and Families. Extending, into the expansion of life. Scientists discovered that yes the whole of our planet does, in fact contract and expand. Most religions teach that we have everlasting life. That when we are finished here, we move on to a afterlife. We exchange one form, for another... Science more recently, has delved into the idea. That there is, an 'Ethereal Existence' and that indeed. There may be life, in that condition. Let us suppose, that this is a part of that unseen expansion and that all the spirits, of past individuals. Still exist, on some level. That it just may be, in the Ethereal Plain. All things, are still in dynamic principle. Being, added on to. We, add our energy to our planet. We are an integral part, of its contraction and expansion. To me, this just seems logical and arrived at by deductive reasoning. The world, is continually being added onto.

Evolving, to a determined measure.

As we are... possibly, even in an afterlife.

Another to think over, is birth itself and what a Mother goes through, to have me the child living through a sensation, of contraction and expansion. The whole process, the Mother experiences. To give birth, is a series of contraction and expansion. As my Elder had said, 'such as it is, for the individual. It is, for the whole world'! The dynamics in relative principal, are applicable to every state in the existence of the nature of things. Whether see or unseen, micro or macro. What Einstein, was trying to present in his theory of relativity and a model, of a Unified Field. Of course his theory an my example, aren't even in the same ball park. Only to put forward relative examples, of what I'm striving to put forward.

It was I think possible, that I was experiencing that memory of birth sensation. The development of that area of creation, where I conceived life. Went through those dividing cellular growth expansions within the womb, of my Mother. That contraction and expansion, then again at 23 and as I was going through states of absorbing new and unrealized experiences. That were expanding, my consciousness...

That place, where I arrived at. To search within me, and define the space I occupy. To realize, in my measured comparison, in the all and every thing. To the all, I'm nothing. I am, less than a granule of sand on a beach. To, myself. I am everything, and there are worlds. Within worlds. Folded, within me...

To have the experience, of a second birth. As I recognized... the Primal Point.

The, synopsis...

God

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Wonder

Author's Note

The Eternal Quest... I include everyone, in this.

Reviews

[Ruth]

Fascinating!

I love the part about how can an answer be found without a question! AWESOME!

Sometimes, we are meant to go on that sacred journey and when we realise it involves us all, WOW! Now that is liberating! Not always pain free though!

Shall read the rest of The Medicine Wheel when I can - I truly mean it when I say that it is remarkable work!

xx