Biking

Now for something a little more humid

I'll ride around on my bike and forget my jacket;

Hope the cold chills my skin till it's cracking,

So I can let whatever's left of you escape,

And you can have a way in to re-enter my mental state.

But the summer months are far too humid,

And all our mistakes, they are far too human.

How will I ever breathe 

When this thing caught in between

My lips and my lungs, is the one who will always eclipse the sun?

Author's Note

Can I ghostwrite for Frank Ocean? Hahahahah

Reviews

[Delmar Cooper]

I'm standing there minding my own business, maybe puzzling out ways to meddle and muddle in yours, who knows? But while I'm doing all that standing a couple of whizzes go by, real close you know? The kind of whizzes that blow your hair back and you know without knowing that an inch or so either way would be spatterville rather than buzz by. Getting loose from metaphor moorings now (Splain' it to me Lucy) the whizzbys were the first two poems of yours. Spatterville would have been this one if I had not lost my nerve at the last minute and ducked.
Thanks for sharing. Keep your powder dry and your ink wet.

[RomaineCoppola]

Is this true? If so that's probably the kindest thing anybody has said about my art, thank you so much, wow. I'm at a loss for words.

(also, most creative review I've ever seen in my life. Friend me!)

[CD Campbell]

You ain't seen nothing yet. He gets better if you let him.

[RomaineCoppola]

How does one's mind even express thoughts in that way? I must've read this over a dozen times now and I'm impressed each read. What a dude

[CD Campbell]

Thought you meant Billy Ocean at first. You know, the pop icon from the eighties? (That's my attempt at a joke, but I'm just showing my age.) Like how the first two lines in each stanza end in kind of a half rhyme. It works and grabs your attention. Not a huge fan of hip hop, but that in no way takes away from what you have accomplished here. It's a good work. CD

[RomaineCoppola]

Yes!! Hahaha my parents actually asked if Frank Ocean was his son years ago (not trying to rub your age in the mud at all). Thank you so much again for another great review, I really appreciate your presence on this website.

[CD Campbell]

You too, buddy. Keep writing so some of us literary nuts have something to do.

[Mrudula Rani]

" Hope the cold chills my skin till it's cracking ", you brought back to my mind the cold Canadian winters. ( we lived in Ontario for a while)" now for something a little humid" (very Monty Pythonesque!) loved it.
Welcome to writerscafe! Make yourself at home, make many friends, most of all write to your heart's content. All the best.

[RomaineCoppola]

Thank you so much. Yes, I feel like we in Ontario get a different perspective with the weather. No matter the season, we always get reminded of how quickly and suddenly things can turn frigid.

Hahaha thanks for picking up that reference too! I'll add you as a friend now :)

[Mrudula Rani]

Some times i do miss Canadian weather... it is summer 12 months of the year here!

[Pash]

I loved the clever word play and flow you had going through out this piece. Good stuff!

Thank you for sharing!
DB

[RomaineCoppola]

Thanks for dropping a review DB. This is probably the one poem I'm truly proud of writing, not to sound egotistical hahah, so I do really appreciate the kind words!