When It All Falls Away

Asked a friend for a sentence to start and end a poem with, made this from it.

It is hard to explain the feelings inside when it all falls away.

The piercing feelings that slices my heart as its strings falter and are torn away.

The feelings that wash over me like acid rain pouring through my skin,

The pain that drowns me as I am dragged down into the abyss of my mind

That chains me in place and beats me into submission to the truth.

You will never love me for who I am.

You could never understand what I feel.

You play these sick, twisted games with my emotions

And guide me on false pretensions.

Your mask is beaten and covered in the scars of love you repress

And my body is riddled with tattoos of despair and the deformities of a broken man.

Your eyes are full of deceit, your smile a barbed wire grin,

Your laugh like nails clawing a chalkboard.

I want everything from you, but know to expect nothing.

You are stuck in your own Hell and have locked me in my own.

The nine circles have not as much suffering as the anguish you put me through,

The lament that I endure every day stronger than the fires of the infernal pits I now call home.

I want you to understand the pain you place upon my shoulders,

The hatred that shrouds my blackened heart,

The shriveling mass sickened with the cancer of love, the tumors of feelings forever growing,

My organ that you have torn from the prison I possess, tossed into its own desolation.

And like my heart, my mind too suffers from your cancer.

It suffers because you will never let me in, because you deceive me,

Because you won't accept my love and stop these petty games.

But now, why? Why should I give you the thought?

It does me no good, it gives way to nothing but torment.

No matter what I do, it never seems to bring you the joy I wish I could for you.

So when the time comes, the time where I will finally learn and stop playing the fool

I will knock you from your pedestal of false implications and take back what is mine.

I will take back my heart, destroy your cancerous hold, 

And allow new feelings to wash away my anguish, for you are not worthy of me.

You waste my breath, you steal my time, and now...

Now you will understand what you put me through.

I will drag you down into the very cage you imprisoned me in,

Bind you with the same chains you bound me with,

Gag you with the remains of the cancer you planted in my heart,

Smash your emotions with my words,

Light you aflame with my anger,

Drown you with my grief,

Lacerate you with my tongue and burn you with saline words,

And leave you there to rot, naked in the damage I have caused, 

Torn asunder by my rage, your last breath my name on a dry tongue!

You will never love me, and for that I am sorry,

But if you will never have me, I wont let this continue to hurt me.

You brought this on yourself, you know this deep within the void that fills your head.

And as you question why you did this to me,

Why you put me through the Hell that you did,

Why this pain you feel will always eat away at you,

You will look at me, your eyes filled with the tears I once had,

Your sick smile now agape whimpering out your pleas,

Your once Dorian Gray image revealed in all its glory,

And ask 'Forgive me?'.

And I will walk up to you, my hand outreached and placed upon your cheek,

My hand as cold as the crypt that I now inhabit,

And my lips will reach your face, my breath a furious blizzard,

And I will kiss you,

And I will look you dead into your soul,

And spit into it with my gaze,

And whisper into your ear,

'Not ever will I forgive you, nor ever will I love you like I once did.'

And you will cry, oh God you will cry!

For you will know the defeat that once wrecked me.

And I will walk away, and tear out the pages in the book that was once our twisted love story,

And cast them onto the funeral pyre, watching them die with no emotions left inside me.

It is hard to explain the feelings inside when it all falls away.