Chapter 1 - Crazy? Maybe...

 

Nostan. The forgotten city. For such a small place, it was always so busy. The streets bustled with unscrupulous types. Its namesake may not quite come from where you’d think. Rather than being a city that no-one knows, actually it was pretty notorious. The forgotten city was more the city for the forgotten, also dubbed the nomad city or as I’d heard a few times, scum central. It was a popular place for mercenaries, ex guards and shifty hooded figures. As long as you had a rough demeanour and a somewhat skewed moral compass, Nostan was the perfect place to slink into the shadows or head to the rowdy taverns to drink away whatever trauma the outside world had instilled.

 

I stood in the doorway of Noble Wood institute for the mentally unbalanced, gazing around at the streets of our tiny town. Our district was one of the smallest, but better off than many others. It was aptly named Lost Man’s Quarry, after the booming trade in stone and other raw materials, although it seemed that the Quarries were starting to deplete. I saw significantly more people who seemed down on their luck than I remembered. A small cluster of young men in ragged clothes sat against the wall nearby. They looked to be homeless and were definitely on the skinny side. Some held out tin cups for coins from passers-by. I recognised one or two from the very building I was standing in. One of them definitely didn’t look all that alive, slumped over on the damp ground while a plump raven perched on his back, jabbing its beak under his hat. Grim…

 

My attention was drawn away sharply when I was shoved over the threshold and onto the street. The stern-faced matron who had been the bane of my life for the last six years threw a satchel down beside me before muttering a half-hearted “Good luck kid.” And hastily closing the door behind me.

How rude! I thought to myself. Although, I guess I wouldn’t be too happy that someone was standing in the doorway and wasting the heat from the stove either. I’d heard the attendants complain many a time about the rising prices of good firewood.

Tring Tring. The shrill sound of a bicycle bell sounded down the street and I scanned around anxiously for the rider.

 

Oh, how I missed the mundane sounds of life in the real world.

 

Tring Tring. There it was again! I turned to my left and was immediately greeted by the source of the noise. A young man on an old bicycle, the frame rusted and chipped in places. The rubber was hanging from the handles from years of daily use. The woven basket was more holes than reeds and stuffed with rolled up newspapers.

 

I didn’t have time to think much else as the young man barrelled right toward me. In my dazed state I could do little more than throw my hands in front of myself and brace myself for impact. Jeez, I’d spent far too long inside. My reflexes were dulled. Just as I saw my life flash before my closed eyelids, I felt a rush of cool air and an all too familiar chill licked up my spine as he passed right through me. Seriously?  I breathed a sigh of relief as I tentatively brought my hands down, glancing sheepishly around to see if anyone had noticed my reaction. A couple of odd glances. Nothing I wasn’t used to. I picked up the small cloth bag that the matron had unceremoniously flung onto the path and fished around for the map they gave me that morning. The November wind picked up a little, blowing a few strands of hair in my face and I felt something icy cold kiss my cheek. Was that…Snow? Oh, I missed snow! But despite how happy I was to finally be free; I couldn’t shake the slight feeling of dread that lay curled in the pit of my stomach. Maybe I really was safer inside. That, or I was just really hungry.

 

“Nomads’ point. Aptly named.” I chuckled to myself as I traced the roads leading to a circled hostel of sorts. “Okay so take a left by the tailors, then turn right at the crossroads by the apothecary and stick to the main road. I can manage that.” I folded the map and placed it back in the bag before setting off. It was already dark, and I could feel the bite of the cold through my hole-riddled shoes. As I walked, I scanned my surroundings. The streets of Nostan city hadn’t changed much at all.

 

I spotted the ice cream shop I adored growing up. Maces Glaces was always so homely. The classy deep red booths were my favourite place to sit and read when I needed to escape from the world, and Macey was the sweetest person I’d ever known. I used to play with her granddaughter, Sera, until my uncle stopped me from visiting. I found myself wondering if she still ran the place and before I knew it, I was peering through the window. Remarkably, everything still looked the same. I squinted to see to the till at the back of the shop, looking for dear sweet Macey.

“Hey, get out of here!” A gruff voice caught my attention as someone yanked the door open. “You’re making the place look bad. And don’t you dare touch that glass. I’ve just cleaned it!” Was he… talking to me?

 

“I- I… Mister Grace?”

“What are you? Deaf, or mentally challenged? I don’t slave away for 14 hours a day just to have my customers scared away by the street urchins!” He growled, poking the handle of his broom at me. I backed away, bewildered by his hostility. Joseph Grace had always been a kind man. He used to tease me for how easily distracted I was. But now… Was I that unrecognisable? He put the broom end of his makeshift weapon down and leaned heavily on it. His face looked much more haggard than I remembered. Times must have been tough the last few years. I decided it wasn’t worth upsetting him further and backed off, hands up in surrender, before turning back to my original route.

 

Nomad’s point was in a part of town that I’d never really been to, relatively close to the outskirts. There were few streetlamps and no carts on the road. It was so peaceful out here! And what was even better was, there were no people. My mind wandered back to the man on the bicycle. He’d passed straight through me. I had to get a grip of myself. I couldn’t let people know I was still seeing things! As I reached the turnoff, I started to hear sounds of life again. Laughter, bottles clinking and the faint sound of a lute. And I could smell food! My stomach growled as the scent of charred meat and fresh bread hit me. I welcomed the warmth as I stepped over the threshold. The scene before me was pretty much what I’d expect. Rough mercenary types and quiet, reserved hooded figures. A heavy-set gentleman manned the bar. He ran one hand through his greying hair as a couple of the mercenaries started scuffling over a spilled drink, before snatching up one of the tankards and launching it at the instigator’s head.

THUNK!  Bullseye!

 

“If you can’t hold your drinks get the hell out! There’ll be no fighting in this bar.” He roared. “And clean that up. Bloody hooligans.” I was amazed as I watched them both stand to attention before cleaning the spilled ale and moving to separate tables, one of them rubbing at the new lump on his head. Well, this guy seemed like a barrel of laughs… But at least the bar seemed safe with him around.

“What’re you looking at?” He narrowed his eyes at me, and I realised I’d been staring.” I lowered my gaze and mumbled an apology as I reluctantly approached the bar to introduce myself. As I opened my mouth to speak, he cut me off, slamming a full cup down on the counter. “Let me guess. You’re that kid from Noble Wood.”

“Yes sir.” I answered meekly. He pushed the cup toward me, ordering me to drink up. The sweet and acidic honey wine made my mouth water and my empty stomach hurt. It tasted good though, and my eyes widened with surprise.

“Well, you don’t look much like an ale kind of girl.” He chuckled, catching me off guard with his kindly tone. “Actually, you don’t look like much of anything. What have those imbeciles been feeding you, sawdust?” The thought bought a cynical smile to my lips. “You’re not far off.” I admitted. An all too familiar look crossed his blunt features and rage burned the pit of my stomach. “Don’t pity me.” I warned, forgetting that I had just seen him break up a fight between two burly mercenaries without leaving his spot. What was I going to do, séance him to death? But to my surprise, nothing came flying. He didn’t even look irritated at my sharp tone. Instead, he just smiled and gave a small nod of approval. “Well tough guy, are you hungry or what?”

 

 

Okay, I like this guy.

 

                         

I was escorted to a door beside the bar and up the stairs to where the rooms were. On the way up, the gentleman introduced himself as Roldan. He explained that he’d received a letter from Noble Wood stating my release date and they had paid for me to stay at Nomad’s point for a week while I figured out what I was going to do next.

“It’s rough here, but the patrons won’t bring any harm to you.” He promised. “Not if they know what’s good for ‘em.” He unlocked one of the doors and handed me a key, advising me that it was probably best to eat upstairs while I got used to my new surroundings.

 

The room was sparsely furnished, with a simple but sturdy bunk bed placed against the far wall. The wardrobe was creaky but serviceable, and there was a small chest of drawers to the side of the door. My favourite feature of the room though, was the table under the window. There was a small stool neatly tucked under it and even a little lamp to work by. It reminded me of some of my fondest memories from back home, where I used to sit and scrawl poems and short stories for hours on end.

 

No more than fifteen minutes later, a heavy knock at the door sounded before it swung open. Another large man loomed in the doorway, this time with a bald head that shone under the ceiling light and a deep scar that curved down his left temple and under his eye. And those eyes… They were dark and foreboding. Icy, yet his gaze felt like it burned, making me shudder with trepidation. He was wearing the same loose fitting brown tunic as the other bar staff, but also had a grubby apron that might have once been white. His surly expression showed no signs of shifting as he took in my bedraggled appearance, then rolled his eyes and stepped into the room to place the small tray in his hand on the table. Hunger outweighed fear and I quickly forgot about pretty much everything but the bowl of soup and the sandwich on the tray. I thanked him shyly, but I wasn’t sure if he heard as he was already closing the door behind him.

I see… Not a talker.

 

As I ate, my mind drifted to planning my next move. I had a week to get my act together, which wasn’t very long, and no idea how I was supposed to find a job in this town. I had just a few coins that had been in my bag from before I went to the institution, and not enough to buy a decent outfit so most people would likely assume I was just a homeless bum that would ask for a job just to steal from their store soon after. And those who still remembered me probably wouldn’t expect much better. I was the crazy girl that heard voices and spoke to shadows. Hell, I wouldn’t trust me either.

 

I’d probably be better off trying one of the nearby towns. The Miners’ district wasn’t too far. Maybe a day of walking? Or there was Tusken-Vale, where most of Nostans’ farmland was based. I’d never been much good when it came to physical work, but maybe if I could convince one of the farmers to employ me for a while I could manage until I earned enough coins to move on. For now, I finished my meal and took out the map again. I slid the tray to the edge of the table so that I could spread it out, tracing my finger slowly along the winding roads, through the market stalls and shops, looking for places that I could try over the coming days. Maybe I could go back to Maces Glaces and look for Macey again. She might give me a chance to earn a few coins. And then I’d have to think about accommodation, buying a decent uniform, feeding myself and… oh, this is a lot to take in.

What in the world was I going to do?

Reviews

[Eric]

Hey,

I found this a very good read for me.
I enjoyed the description of the character, specifically how you did not write her out with any typical gender norms. She seems strong and observant of her surroundings. I enjoyed how you described the surroundings as I could picture them in my mind.
What or who was the guy in the bicycle? I think I read that she has the ability to see ghosts and speak to things not in the physical realm.

[Dennis Wolf]

Hi there. I'd like to start by saying this was a good chapter.
There are some ideas I can offer, but no real suggestions that mean much.

For starters, I've recently taken a crash course on writing.. Haha yeah, it sounds so dumb, it is, but then again certain advice actually made sense.

Particularly for fantasy and fiction in general.

For one, most people would say to write from third person POV, in past tense..

I'm not much of a critic, but prefer to follow characters like that when reading. This point of view also allows for the 'showing' to happen, though not too often. Telling, showing.. Well, yeah, too many people are stuck on the 'show don't tell' advice, yes, it's good advice, but you can't really be expected to 'show' every insignificant detail, so tell less important details and events that need be told just to keep the flow of things even.

I've read some fantasy, back in the day, before I've learnt English.. And if your story or the world it's set in has any central/important lore (important to the story) like books, tomes etc that have belief systems or legends etc based on their contents.. Throw an excerpt from one of those into the mix..

This actually helps establish that the story world has its own customs, legends yadada you get the idea.

You could start with the excerpt.. Or you could insert it somewhere else in the chapter.

Consistency.. Now that's another advice often misunderstood..

Consistency is needed.. When describing a setting that has to be eerie, so you'd keep that in mind when throwing in details..

And there are the rules of the world.

It's always a good idea to create some sort of list or draft of the story world rules and important details
. Such as the peoples and or creatures that inhabit it and make an appearance

Societies.. How they work, what makes them tick. Governments etc
If there is magic or extremely advanced technology, how it came about why how it works.


And it's not a bad idea to have a brief history of the world on hand if that somehow plays a role in the story.. For example foretold events that are now happening in your world etc etc etc.

Anyhow, hopefully this essay long rambling wasn't too much..

I'll read the next chapters as time allows.