Puddles

Experimental/Prose/Story

He never gave much thought to the ponding water in the past
As a young boy he splashed around in them playfully
Later as a Marine, humping through them as part of life
But this was before her
Before the tears rolling down her cheeks he tries to wipe away
Before the melted ice cubes on the floor she can never quite catch from the dispenser
Before the bright red nose of a cold and the drip, drip that prompts him to hand her another box of tissues
Before the irreverent rings her glasses leave on the coffee table
Before the sheets have to be pulled from the bed after he makes love to her
Smiling, he wipes the floor tile because she can not confine herself to the rug for drying off after a shower
"Puddles" he calls her
Seeing only the beauty in her streams, pools and droplets
As if they're a trail of breadcrumbs she leaves him
That will lead him straight to her heart

Author's Note

I had pretty much given up the writing of these experimental/prose pieces. However, this was something I felt a strong need to write for a beautiful heartbeat I am allowed to hear.

Reviews

[SteveB]

Damn fine write Rogue. The repetition of "before" is highly effective and each of the highly specific examples, all of which point to different aspects of the relationship, drive home the point. The first few lines, which show a "man's man" sets up the balance of the gentle soul who calls his lover "puddles". Then the final simile to tie it all together.
Bloody well done.

[Rogue]

Thank you, Steve for this wonderful review. I am happy to know that you really liked this one. That means a lot to me. :)

[Terpsichore]

Glad you didn't give up, this is utterly captivating from first line to last.

T

[Antoñyo]

This is quite the joy to read...and the kind of piece I'll read again,
Thanks for sharing!

[Shannon]

Beautiful look at the everyday things that add up to love. I also like the clever exploration of puddles, using all sorts.

[Sharon Kim]

Rogue, I really appreciated the pictures you painted with your words-so many details of everyday things that often go unnoticed. I love the connection between them-gives a whole different view. It's so true that those quirks of character are sometimes what we appreciate the most.

[Rogue]

Thank you for this lovely comment and for reading as well. :)

[Chris]

I think you need to stop defining whom you are as an experiment in existence ...and just be... you.

The thoughts flow as thoughts often do... the heart beats throughout. And the smile is very real. Well spoken aloud.

[Rogue]

Oh very well, I shall no longer hide behind the Victor Frankenstien option on my pieces. But only because you asked me so nicely. :P
-smile-
The heart beats and smiles always add beauty to the sounds and sights of a day. :)

[Chris]

Chuckling here... Accept that you can write and just do it.

[Sami Khalil]

A lot of great elements and aspects in this great prose poem. From the title , the conversation , the reality of the story , the ending of hopefullness are all wonderful and come together weaved with charm and intelligence of perception. You can't quit something you are excelling at...Bravo...:)

[Rogue]

Thank you, dear one. Ever you have encouraged me in my writing and I am honored by this wonderful review. :)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure. Any time...:)

[Ken Simm.]

The small nuances that lead up to the whole. The acute observations seen at almost one take removed from the relationship as it wends its way through these things that just fit within the thoughts of two. Exceptionally well written.

[Rogue]

I wandered a bit out of my comfort zone with this one. I don't think I have ever written just a happy and light romance prose before. I was struggling with demons and these pieces as it were... So, your support and kind words here have meant a great deal and I thank you. :)

[Rita L. Sev]

I really like this piece, Rogue. The imagery is unique, but so realistic - this is how love communicates - with tender references understood only by two... Even the things that may irritate are endearing. Don't give up on these pieces - they are beautiful.

[Rogue]

Awww, Rita I am so glad you enjoyed this one. -grin- A lighter and softer side that peeks out once in awhile. :)

[one sky]

Wow! This is so wonderful. Simple things about love that brings about deeper touch to the soul.

Nice prose, Rogue.

[Rogue]

Thank you. That is very kind of you to say and I appreciate it. :)