Supernova

Prose/Experimental

They all came seeking
this star that shone for them
To commune and to share
in all the light from it

Fantastic technological wonderland
these children playing day and night
Creating real life scenarios
out of thoughts inside their heads

The white rabbit went unnoticed
blending seamlessly into it all
To run and cavort as the others
another face in the crowd

The light became to tempting
as greed grew in the hearts
To touch it, to be part, to know
and they built a new Tower of Babble

These children inside began to die
playfulness and joy all but gone
Despairing as the adult daggers sank
into the back of all who dared to climb higher

Hopeless was this world in it's destruction
imploding in upon itself
He scattered them like ashes
across the vast Internet landscape

Small pockets gathering here and there
an innocence never recaptured
This lost moment in time
had come to an end

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

I am strangely reminded of when I walked across the state line from California to Nevada in Tahoe. From the empty streets to the glitz and the noise and the neon that started so suddenly. From the stars blinking above to the stars crashing like waves below. From quiet to mammon in one step.
not that I am deriding either state. I loved both of them. Just that the mood that this epic feeling poem evokes is of the fall suddenly from one state (in the other sense of the word) to another.
It also speaks to modern communication and the destroying of old ways and methods through so called advancement. A true tower of Babel/Babble. You couldn't see the white rabbit cowering in Tahoe that night. A truly epic write.

[Rogue]

-grin-
Yes, that tower was misspelled on purpose. There was a lot of talk going on.
I must say, I'd rather read this review than the piece it pertains to. How wrong is that? :P this was very vivid and entertaining to read and I enjoyed the whole thought process you went through. Thank you, Ken. :)

[SteveB]

Really good. I was struck by the images at first and on second read got the kids in basements playing video games. I particularly liked the biblical allusion with the twist and what I took to be a Lewis Carroll reference as well.
Nicely structured with each stanza an indpendent thought leading into the next.

[Rogue]

Thank you, Steve. It is always interesting to read what one takes away from a piece. Your thoughts here are always appreciated. :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Wow, Rogue... you and those words. You put such meaning into your works and they are instantly reachable. "Despairing as the adult daggers sank" and awesome line!

[Rogue]

This is actually true. Something that occurred a little over five years ago. All were hurt by the end. Even the celestial body.
Been there and done that.
Thanks for reading and your kind remarks. I always appreciate seeing you here. :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

I understand... it's always my pleasure encountering your material.

[Angi]

I am picturing a world gone mad. A virtual, gaming world gone mad. All the children have been sucked inside...even the adult children in dirty jockey shorts living in their parents basement. I am really, really tired so this review should probably be deleted, Rogue. Ha! That is what I see, though. Video games destroy!! Ha! The delete button is just over there. Angi~

[Rogue]

Hahahahahaha Angi you are a riot. And there is no way I am deleting this review. I love it! :D

[Jon Roggie]

I like this. Fifth stanza is fantastic. Oh why not. Nice write. (;

[Rogue]

Ha! Thank you, Jon. :P

[Jon Roggie]

Oddly, makes me want to listen to "After the gold rush"

[Rogue]

I was just going through some of your pieces... Interesting writing style you have.
And this would be the appropriate song... Closer than one may think... http://youtu.be/08MFfj_ZXWU

[Jon Roggie]

I have my Reznor moments!

[Rogue]

And so does he.
-grin-

[TL Boehm]

I suppose I go a bit biblical when I read this - considering the vast space of knowledge or of pure spirit - the creator can be found in the creation and we are forever seeking light - seeking childlike faith, but the knowledge is double edged - and once we think we know there is that human desire to control. To catagorize and dole out worth and merit.
I found this poem fascinating - it teases me a little - as though i am not quite smart enough to grasp it - but here I am jumping and taking swipes as I stand on tiptoe. Well penned!

[Rogue]

I think you did a lovely job with your thoughts here and I enjoyed reading them. Thank you. :)

[Rita L. Sev]

Wrapping my head around this, Rogue - a lost innocence, perhaps growing up too soon. Weird, I get a Drew Barrymore - "Little Girl Lost" vibe from this piece. Her family sought the spotlight for her, and it took her down so young. And that kind of light cannot sustain itself forever... I'm rambling, but they are the rambles inspired by your fascinating piece... :)

[Rogue]

All rambles are welcome, Rita and I enjoyed reading your thoughts on this piece. Thank you. :)

[Sami Khalil]

A fantastic write which is different from your other ones exploding in a supernova of light and heat. Although I'm biased to the other ones but I do like this one. All your work shine through in our darkness...:)

[Rogue]

-smile-
Now that was very sweet of you to say and I thank you for it. :)
Yes, a little bit different from my usual these days... Just came across my mind this way and I translated as best I could.

[Sami Khalil]

It looks like you and I are evolving in so many ways in our writes and I wonder why. But it is all for the good ...You are most welcome...:)

[Rogue]

Because we grow and learn. Both as people...
-hooks my pinky around yours-
And as friends, always. :)

[Sami Khalil]

Hahaha...So true...You are welcome...:)

[Shane Winchester]

I like the play of tower of babble over tower of babel. I am new here and just starting to share my work after many years of guarding it like treasured secrets. But I get what you are saying. Perhaps this is like Hollywood and star struck actors hoping to be discovered.I have been both welcomed and warned. I like your poem and the message.

[Rogue]

Thank you, Shane. And welcome to the WC. I look forward to reading your work. :)

[Shane Winchester]

Thank you. There's not much of it yet I am afraid. Still sifting through what to share and what not to share just yet.

[Rogue]

Well, the piece I just read was very well written. You will eventually find a medium where you are comfortable. To share thoughts, ideas, feelings and emotions. As for sharing you yourself... That takes trust and time. Only a chosen few may ever get to really "know" you. :)