Freedom Rhymes

This poem reflects my need to share my writing and be a part of the world around me.

...

Is there a chance I'll find Heaven...

off the beaten path,

someday when I'm not looking,

and anger has no wrath?

...

Is there someway I let go,

relax and enjoy life?

Never have troubles or worry,

in my daily strife...

...

Maybe I'll just write my poetry,

for all the world to read.

Pass on my hopes and ambitions,

try to plant some seeds.

...

Who knows where it will lead me,

while I'm on this ride?

If nothing else it gives freedom,

life's not locked inside...

...

Sharing my thoughts and feelings,

makes me feel within,

that I am somehow part of all...

and that is not a sin.

...

Rod Hatter

March 4, 2011

Author's Note

I constantly search for ways to escape this crazy world. This poem reflects some of those feelings.

Reviews

[JayG]

• I constantly search for ways to escape this crazy world.

This leads to a question. How many people woke today wondering how you...or I feel?

No one cares about the poet. Readers come to poetry to be entertained by being made to feel and care, not be better informed on the feelings of someone they'll never meet.

They don't want to hear that you cried, they want you to make THEM weep...or laugh...or... And we can't do that by talking TO the reader. In fact, we can't use the approach to writing that we were given in school, because it's meant to make us useful to employers. And employers need nonfiction from us, which can NOT be used for poetry, because its goal is to inform, as you do here.

As for the rhyming, you need to look into the norms of prosody, because the number of feet per line wanders from stanza to stanza, and the lines are trochaic and iambic at random, from stanza to stanza.

Some suggestions.

For poetry, in general, Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook is an excellent book on the basics, and is filled with little gems. You can download a free copy on the site linked to just below, though it won't read on a phone.
https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596

For Structured poetry, as you have here, take a look at the excerpt, on Amazon, of Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled. I recommend what he has to say to all writers. And Mary Oliver's Rules for the Dance is aimed at structured poetry, as is the Fry book.

Sorry my news isn't better. But since we'll not address the problem we don't see as one, I thought you might want to know,


Jay Greenstein
Articles: https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@jaygreenstein3334