Silver Pocket Watch

The sirens rung out through the town like the ominous warning that it was. My knapsack sat on my bed, appearing to be an empty void, a shadow of my former life.

The first thing to go in my bag was the clothes mother had painstakingly made for me, each folded neatly and put in with care. Next was my sister's stuffed bear that she begged me to hold for her since her bag was already filled to the brim with anything she could get a hold of.

Next was the pocket watch father had given me to keep safe for his return. I'd always loved the watch, the shining silver gleam and melodic tick-tocking whenever father took it out to check the time. It was tarnishing, I noticed, not gleaming like it used to and the ticking, once strong now faded and slow. I wrapped it carefully in the silk handkerchief that once belonged to grandfather and stowed it away into the deepest depths of my knapsack.

I would return it to father once we've left this town and found him, then we could start our new life and he could open the watch for the time and I could see the silver gleam and hear its ticking once again.

I could hear the rumble, almost like thunder, get louder and louder until it drowned out the ear-piercing sirens from before. It was time to go.

Mother carried my little sister as we ran to the gate, the only thing between us and our escape. Two men, blocked the gate, keeping us and other families from leaving. They were tall and broad, their faces grim and grisly, covered in dirt much like their tan uniforms. They grabbed my sister out of my mother's arms so they could get to their bags. Mother tried to fight them but they hit her so she fell. Next they took my bag and ransacked it for all the valuables we had. They took all the heirlooms mother had carefully packed away, the blankets and food she'd brought along for the long journey. They even took the broach father had given her for her birthday before he left.

The men moved on to the next family who suffered just the same. I bent down to collect all the fallen clothes mother had worked so hard to make. My sister's bear was now missing its left arm and a few buttons and I feared that all the material possessions we had were gone forever. I had been searching for the silk handkerchief, containing my father's watch but I couldn't see it among the scattered clothes. I picked up the last shirt when something fell out of the breast pocket.

The tarnished silver gleam caught my eye and the tick-tocking melody, though slower than it had ever been, filled my ears as it had done so many times before.

Father's silver pocket watch was safe.

Author's Note

Again, already posted on dA, a story from the Lily Tuck workshop... short, blah blah blah. But these two pieces of work were a real confidence booster to me because I got a lot of compliments on them and it made me feel good. They may be short, but they are special, let me know what you think!

Reviews

[AJChallenger]

This is a very interesting piece. I like the emotions conveyed, but I would be interested in seeing it developed. There is an old saying: "Show, don't tell." I would like to see more action and dialogue and less description I think if you expanded this and allowed us to see more characterization it could be a really great piece. It was a good read. :-)

[Kimberly Smith]

NICE WORK...KEEP IT UP

[AJChallenger]

This is a very interesting piece. I like the emotions conveyed, but I would be interested in seeing it developed. There is an old saying: "Show, don't tell." I would like to see more action and dialogue and less description I think if you expanded this and allowed us to see more characterization it could be a really great piece. It was a good read. :-)