One Mores

She's just a girl, who loved a boy. But sometimes these things just run their course.

Do you think we could have one more? One more day . . . month . . . or even year? Could we have one more date? One more night to sit across from each other and just enjoy one another’s company. One more comfortable silence. One more time where our hands connect on top of the table. My fingers interlocking with yours . . . just one more time. Could we have one more look into each other’s eyes? One more prolonged moment where we just catch the light in each other’s eyes, and we end up being the only two people in the room. 

Maybe, in that moment, we realize once more that we are right for each other. Then we could start over, as if nothing bad has ever happened. As if things never went wrong and nothing ever changed between us. 

But that’s not how it works, right? We have used up our “one mores”. And now they are gone. We wasted them all on petty arguments. Silly doubts and worries. We threw away all those chances. Now we have left each other shattered. It’s not all bad, though. Even shattered pieces can have their own beauty, if you let the light in. Though, it’s not wise to keep going through each piece. That is how you get cut all over again. If we added up the one mores through the shattered pieces, all we would be left with are bittersweet memories and blood running down our hands from all those one mores we were desperate to have. Sometimes? It is just best to leave the shattered pieces lie. To let them go and let them glitter in the sunlight. In doing this, we will allow ourselves to be put back together. By being ourselves, alone. Apart. 

The world we met in was exciting and beautiful, and everything was new. Everything was so easy then. The air was even different. Cleaner, fresh. There were so many opportunities to seize, so many things we could do . . . and there still are. Just . . . not for the both of us. It has nothing to do with falling out of love. Our course has been run. We did it. Now, it needs to be over. 

For you. 

For me. 

For us. 

And that is okay. So it didn’t work with us. We wore out every chance. Got hurt over every single fight. Used excuses, whether the same or different, to keep fighting; not with each other, but for each other. So what is there to do . . . except . . . accept it? Accept that we have grown, not only apart from each other, but grown up. New opportunities wait, new chapters to be made. I love you, but our stories just don’t run together anymore. I'll always remember how we were, though. How we started. How we came together and made all of those memories. From that first look, to the first words we spoke to each other. To the first kiss that started something magical, while it lasted. I will always hold those memories close to my heart. 

In my heart, I will add up all of those "one mores" and I will create a lifetime to replay in my head when I miss you. Until it doesn't hurt so much anymore. 

Then, maybe one day. Whether we find each other or we each find someone that brings the light back into our lives. Then, maybe they can be our “one more time”. 

I have hope, even if it isn’t for us. 

Do you? 

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

This is outstanding. Outstanding for the technical skills you employed in the writing of it, but more so for the real life that you've presented in abundance. How accurately you describe the euphoric little moments of romance. Head over heals! It was long ago, but yeah, I remember things being just as you describe. Then came the heartbreak, the unbearable realization that it wasn't going to work. No more "one mores".

[Robyn]

Thank you so much!