Sketch

I usually wake up to find what I wrote the day before dull and ultimately silly, but its been a few weeks and I still like this poem. I'm a bit of a minimalist.

You gaze beyond your eyelashes,

Untimid at sun-stroked suspended dust

You hold on to scattered scraps of a once good ship

   in a suffocating sea of all of it.

Your hands have grown strong from mending;

   the sun-stroked suspended dust bides you to let go,

To float adrift in the sea of all of it,

To drink the honey water which you find bitter.

   You lean your ear on the scraps you hold on to so stubbornly

And you dream of the once good ship.

Author's Note

Most aspects of the poem are meaningful (inside my head); let me know of any allusions or themes the poem brings up.

Reviews

[.]

. ahhhh ... beautiful ...

[Penulis Kecil]

Welcome to Writer's Cafe!

I love this! I'm picturing someone holding on to something that used to be helpful for them and now isn't; (s)he's been doing little fix-its here and there trying to get it to work again, but it's too far gone. Everything around him/her is saying that it's time to let go, but s(he) just keeps holding on trying to pretend things are the way they were.

I feel so much meaning from, "To drink the honey water which you find bitter", but my favourite lines were, "You gaze beyond your eyelashes, / Untimid at sun-stroked suspended dust". What a powerful opening!