Flying High

Soaring with the stars.
Right outside this plane window tonight.
So close, I could just reach out and grab one.
Pull in one special star.
A star to light up my world.
I’m embraced in a dome of light.
Each star more dazzling then the next.
But it’s you I choose to be my one and only.
My only one.
All I want is you.

 

Baby, you’re my star.

 

            Yet, the  d i s t a n c e  keeps us  a p a r t.

Reviews

[Mauricio Montoya]

I like how it comes together, great job well done.

[Kara]

Wow. I really liked this. So beautiful..

[luciddreamer]

Human kind has always and will always be enchanted with the stars and sky, and why shouldn't we, home is where the heart is :)

[Miss Coral]

Whoa- this totally reminds me of my piece you commented on, even though they're really different haha. I get what you mean.
This was great though... the rhythm fit the topic very well, and I like the spacing towards the end. Great tone. Nice piece. :)

[Mia]

Nice job Robyn. I like the title, it's really inspiring. The way you describe the stars is great, I love it. Good job.

[Romeion Case]

nice one :-)

[Joshua Donahue]

i really like this. i am always obsessed with stars and the way they appear in the night sky. really nice piece. especially the ending.

[Richard Williams]

Nice, very nice. A simple as starlight and as complex as a star. The tone, flow and emotion reach unto the stars.

[KaySea]

very good

[Scott Kelly]

Pretty good. I think this could be considerably better if you removed a few things.

"Baby,". Using that word makes this sound like an R&B song and not a serious poem. Also, "You're my star." That part is obvious - inference is the beauty of poetry. You say much with very few words. We all "get" that this is a poem about another person and not actual stars, so there's no reason to belittle your readers by pointing that out in the last couple of lines.

All in all, this is a fine piece of poetry and I hope to see more. Those are just a few suggestions, for whatever they're worth.