With The Works

LGBT Drama about a cross sexual male to female transgender, and the tragic ending of her son's life.

                                             “With the Works”

                     By Robben Wainer

                Sunday mornings always started with an unsettled atmosphere downtown, where people spent their day making plans to spend time with their families, visiting shops in museums, and preparing brunch to spend time with their friends. This Sunday was no different in the Soho walk up, when the stirring of a few uneasy remembrances set their apartment in an atmosphere of unnecessary self-pity and forgetfulness. Randy awoke in a state of extremities with the shifting of preparations that had to be made for his attendance at a sermon at the church he was so fond of visiting. Putting out corn muffins and turning on the coffee pot became his greatest victory in showing signs that Randy would make it to the event in good tidings.

            Brushing his hair which was almost shoulder length, Randy spent about twenty minutes fixing his face. The blush and mascara used was everything he needed to pose for a pretty picture. Jaime awoke yawning and always needing to talk.  Jaime asked what was happening to them that that Randy would hustle so in his composure as methodically and ruthlessly as it were.

            “Help zip me up in the back.” Said Randy,

            “Rats I knew I needed new nylons,” he commented.

       Randy was Jaime’s Father and also a cross sex, when Jaime asked where he was going all of a sudden. Randy just announced that he had promised a friend. Jaime understood, and reconciled that Randy needed company to suit being the socialite of his prescient pleasure. Yet, the times Randy was off and running did not compromise the divided attention he gave to their home.

            “I need a new mom.” Was all Jaime could say with humor trying to see his Father for the male to female transgender that he was.

            “Well, I’m all of you got.” Said Randy

            “Oh I know,” Jaime said giving Randy’s dress one final pull up from the seam.

            With full mouthed swallows of his corn muffin, Jaime was never surprised by how effeminate Randy might become. While theirs was a quality time, Randy always gave the impression that he was trying to compensate for any mixed emotions that stemmed from his behavior. Recently he had had a few dates, but appeared as he always did. He was filled with his partner’s intentions, as he decided some men made him feel squeamish, and were willing to meet him half way. By now, Jaime was well aware of how LGBT pride made randy preoccupied with events, meetings and conversation on the phone. In his own way Jaime took in all of that pride, but wondered if it meant in her way which was also his way,  if he ever experienced the joy in being himself, and if he didn’t, if he was ever going to. In fact Jaime was still very impressionable, and wondered if what he experienced held any merit for self expression.

        The Sermon was given by a gay Pastor, who mentioned that reconciliation was the promise for the forgiveness of sin. The choir sang, the prayers were read, and the LGBT friendly group in the parish reconvened with loose hugs on the way out.

            As Randy entered the two member family’s apartment, he could see Jaime washing the dishes disinterestedly and needing to talk.

            “I need a moment for this.” said Jaime finishing the last dish.

            “Take your time.” Said Randy

            “I am confused, all of my friends are other boys, but I don’t think I’m gay,”

          said Jaime.

          “There are no laws about any of it” said Randy.

 

          “Would it bother you if I were straight,” asked Jaime.

          “The Country has gone to war and come back both victorious and defeated, and yet the LGBT movement lives in all of us, I think the world is ready for you either gay or straight, while my feelings of love for you will never change.” 

 “You’re a good man, you really are,” said Jaime.

“Maybe you should wait to decide to have a boyfriend or girlfriend until you’re ready.”

“True, I just need time is all” said Jaime.

          The hot hazy days of summer spelled a lazy afternoon and siesta. Jaime surveyed the absorption of fatigue, as his past reconvened in the present. New experiences were just beginning to emerge as Jaime would be starting high school the next year. As with the natural course of human affairs, there had been a dramatic split in Jaime’s small circle of friends. While most of them had gone away to camp. That was a luxury Randy couldn’t afford, but with a little awareness Jaime was attending day camp at the local YMCA, and spent his days mainly going on field trips. There was a nervousness that he brought with him that came like a sudden abasement knowing he would never be close to the people he knew. He wondered if Randy was close to anyone, or if he had been since Jaime’s mother past away. He could remember how his parent’s arguments were different, and how some evenings Randy wasn’t home at all as he spent a few nights in a hotel from time to time.

          “I have a feeling that High School is going to be a very high experience.”

Jaime said to Randy.

“Try to cooperate in the class, and do your work, and it will be fine.’ said Randy.

Jaime’s only friend in Summer Camp was with a girl who he was always watching. Audrey was a kind of a tom boy whose testimony she adopted as a personal matter, and in all of their activities with those in other groups. Jaime gravitated towards her as the rest of the girls felt a little intimidated by her. It seemed Jaime was always signing up for the same activities she went on. Once on a bus to a National Park, Jaime asked to sit next to her, and finally they got to talking before the summer ended. At the National Park, the conversation opened up and became more conversational about their families.

“My Father is a Post Man,” said Audrey “Does your family work?”

she asked.

“I only have my dad, my mom died from cancer,” Jaime said.

“My Father is gender non-conforming,” he added, “and no he doesn’t work.”

“Do you like me.” asked Audrey

“I suppose we’ll have to wait and see before I tell you.” Jaime conjectured in a shy manner.

“Maybe you can have dinner with my family” she said, and they left it at that.

The last day of camp came on them suddenly and Jaime still hadn’t made his move. Randy was waiting in the family room waiting to picked up Jaime. Randy was wearing a tight mini- skirt and a shawl, and he smelled of perfume. When Audrey saw Jaime with him, she thought she would follow her with interest.

“Are you with Jaime?” Asked Audrey

“This is Randy, my Father,” said Jaime.

“I know your secret,” said Audrey.

She shook Randy’s hand and carefully planned her words. “I wish to invite Jaime to my home for dinner.” She said

“For tonight,” she added.

“If that’s what Jaime wants it’s fine with me,” said Randy.

Randy gave Jaime a kiss on the lips, and gave his permission for a little date. Jaime was starting to feel embarrassed, blushed, and became teary eyed. It was only later that evening that Randy got an urgent call to pick him up immediately, as there had been an unpleasant surprise. Jaime’s voice on the phone was panic stricken and very upset.

When Randy arrived at the address that was given it was too late. Jaime had a black eye and a swollen lip. Audrey opened the door holding Jaime in her right hand and shoving him toward Randy.

“Wait a minute what happened here,’ said Randy panicking.

“That freak” said Audrey. “He went through my clothes, and wanted to eat dinner dressed in my nylons. My father said he was being raised by a Queer. I came down on him, and taught him to toughen up and act right.” she confessed.

“Dad take me home, this was a mistake. “ Jaime said, as Audrey fell back into her Father’s arms, and the door closed behind them.

 “Then this was my fault, if only there was something I could do,” Randy said in the train ride home.

“Dad let’s not talk about it, I guess I still have never had a girlfriend.”

“That was a set up.” said Randy.

“You just are a certain way,” Jaime said. “They don’t know what they even did,” said Jaime “It was my fault too.”  

“We need to get you some ice,” said Randy.

“That’s fine really it was no one’s fault,” said Jaime.

  “Just that bigot family” said Randy. “Look what they did to us.”

Jaime didn’t always seem to be as prepared as he could be for high school. While he had one peer who he was close to, and shared a mutual fondness for. He started to complain when questioned that the Teachers all seemed to find something which they said was disagreeable to them. Once Jaime came home and the straps had been cut at one end of his book bag. He thought it would be just fine to tie the ends and carry it like a pseudo purse. Jaime started wearing a pony tail, and would listen to his play list loud coming and going to school. One day Jaime came home with his face all dirty from hanging out in the yard all day. At this point Randy noticed something that he needed to address once Jaime came home.

 

“Good Lord,” Randy said, “There is a huge wad of gum in your hair.”

“What’s this.” Said Jaime, “Well see I know there is not.”

“That’s this” Randy said, as he moved through his own purse finding his scissor clipper, “and that’s that” he said clipping out the strands of hair with the gum.

“Now I want you to tell me how this happened, and if someone did this to you.”

“Really I don’t know what that is.” I was chewing gum instead of tobacco,” said Jaime, “sometimes at night too when I can do my homework.”

  The next morning Randy decided to try a more uplifting approach to help Jaime have more energy, when the sun rise lit up the windows, Randy gleamed at a pitch “Rise and shine,  wake up my sunshine. “ He said. But Jaime slept as though he had been riding on all of the trains at night, and convinced Randy to give him just seven minutes more. Twenty minutes later Jaime panicked knowing he would miss his first class again. Frowning, but trying not to see Jaime disappointed, Randy just suggested to go in late, and tell the teacher there was a family issue. Jaime half hearing him put a bandanna in his head, got to school late, and missed the first class entirely.

Randy was getting ready to go out that night, as he primped up their Velcro sofa bed, and the coffee table was neatly arranged in order. He stood in front of the wall mirror with a single fluorescent beam serving his the last touches of makeup, and setting a ruby earring in his right ear. Randy was wearing a traditional garter belt fastened to nylons, pumps with heels, and a dress cut midway over her panties, there was no mistake that she wanted to look good for Francis, as they had grown a fondness for each other that was a turning seriousness.

Francis came to the door, and Randy gave him a kiss that echoed with sin on his neck. Jaime opened the door to his room, and made his way to the center of the living room where they were standing. Francis wished at the moment only to make a good impression on Jaime, it seemed Randy’s son feelings about him were unequivocally vital.

“Do you remember me” Asked Francis

“Yes I do your name is Francis.” said Jaime.

“Randy and I have been getting to know each other in fact we are becoming close,” said Francis.

  “Are you going out tonight?” asked Jaime

“We had plans to, but we don’t have to” said Francis.

“Do you know me from somewhere,“  asked Jaime.

“Not really, I m just hoping that Randy, you and I can be as a family.” said Francis, bowing down to where he found Jaime sitting as if to whisper his emotion.

As those words came from Francis, Randy was busy giving Francis friendly pets in the back, and caressed his chest and bringing himself closer into his embrace with a smile said “I think that would be best for the both of us.” 

“Let’s go in my room now.” He whispered, as Jaime witnessed lust in his gaze.

Jaime stayed on the love seat, watching them undress through the open door until it closed behind them. He saw the note Randy had left on the table which said be back late, don’t wait up. He sat in silence in the darkness of the room, and curled up in the fetus position to get comfortable. Almost out of the woodwork he heard sighs and deep breathing coming from Randy’s room. The huffing and puffing kept Jaime from closing his eyes, suddenly a knock was heard coming from the floor, and as though Jaime became a beast of burden just by living there, he heard the voice of Randy shout out in a bated breath.

“You’re in me, keep moving and thrusting, and send it through me,” bellowed Randy.

Jaime heard a groan as the murmurings died down, the sex that was being made, left the room steamy. Jaime watched the door to Randy’s Room, and he watched Francis bring his slacks to his feet, and place his  erection in his waist band, as he brought his trousers over his underwear, Francis slowly emerged from the back room.

“Your Father is a very special and gifted person,” said Francis.

“I have to leave you both now for the night.”

  “Good Night,” said Jaime.

“Be well and take good care of yourself,” Francis said, as he left the room.     

    Randy spoke out, in a loud voice to Jaime “go to bed now,” he said. “I did not want you in the center of the action tonight.”

Jaime got undressed and closed the door to his room, and had the first night of sound sleep he had in awhile.

As the school year took course, and Randy was saddened by how many friends he had been losing, whose acquaintanceship he expressed intimately. He retired in the bath room to try wearing anything Francis left in his drawer, even his very own blue g string.

As weeks passed, and Jaime was bereft with sudden displeasure to his inequities, he in the dark room pressed for time, and missing sleep, gave to his will his last ray of hope due to his not having accomplished anything in school.

“What’s up, what’s happening to you?” asked Randy.

“Nothing” He said “someone had said they were my friend and chased me down just to catch up with me.”

“What does that mean,” Said Randy I mean is that god or bad,

“Oh it’s good” said Jaime. “I don’t know if he’s who I want as a friend yet, but he and I will be together a lot I guess.”

 

   In the spring term recess, Randy spoke to her son about her attending his Teacher Parent night.

  “To whom am I speaking with” said The Teacher.

‘I am Randy Jones, Jaime’s Father, can I ask you how he has been doing, all the reports say things are going well.”

“Jaime missed fifteen days in a row, and the school had to stop him from graduating. We have decided that his suspension begins today,” said the Teacher.

“Oh my God, that’s horrible news,” said Randy.

“If you can excuse me, you see we know he’s gay.”

  Randy came home and was so upset he almost cried on his pillow, he had no son left his life was over, and had been a mistake.

Jaime was hiding in his boxer shorts in Randy’s room holding a piece of paraphernalia, Randy shook and his spine curled in,

‘There is no excuse for what you are doing in my room,” said Randy.

“Now what are you holding, give it to me.” He said.

“No I don’t want you to have this, and I don’t want you to have these anymore, picking up, and letting go of his box filled with bracelets.”

   Randy started to say he wants an explanation for all of this, but when he looked at what happened to Jaime’s arm and side he realized it was too late, Jaime had track marks now all over his body.

“Oh I’m sorry daddy.” Said Jaime,” but don’t you see this is not me.”

  Randy held Jaime arms to his breast to try to heal him but he was too late, he lost him now, if not now then forever.

The next day Randy came home unaware of what the help might be, but it was too late even for that, a group of his neighbors were waiting for him outside of his building, and were saying “it’s not him anymore or you, who do you have to explain this too since now it is too late,” they said.

“What are you talking about?’ Randy said both nervously, and in a tight voice.

  But as he walked into the room the fluorescent light was on, but Jaime’s body was on the floor and was cold, he had died from his heroin addiction. Jaime was frozen his heart stopped beating. He was in his stillness dead.

            Jaime cuffed a fist to his mouth with unbearable guilt and shame. He stepped back as though he was watching his reflection on the ice in the North Pole. He stood there, and there was no he, and there was no she, and there was no Jaime to speak of. Randy had lost the only thing that mattered in his life, and for the life of him, truly he didn’t know why.