Thank God. It's Finally Over.

This piece is an exercise I did for a creative writing course I am currently taking (taught by Christian W. Thiede). Jill, the narrator and main character, passes away as the victim of a car accident. After she passes away, finds her way to those pear

 

     I'd been thinking about a lot lately.  The election's coming up, you know.  It'd been the fight of two devils lately in the city hall debates.  All over America you have those right wing pigs who think that all the money should go to the rich, and leave the poor even poorer.  Then you've got the far-leftist b******s that --  Oh my god...is that guy really headed in my direction?

     A woman in a red SUV -- a Chevy Tahoe to be specific -- came toward me that day.  I didn't know why.  Nor would I ever know.  My mini-cooper didn't protect me very well then.  I had the chance to glance at it in the two minutes I had left.  The top was ripped off, wheels blown off, and there was an axle right beside my left eyeball.

     There was a woman in a pink blouse crouching down in front of a police officer.  If only I could have spoken at that point, she'd be fine.  I'm okay, I promise.  And yet all I could muster was a short gurgle from my throat.  There was a river of red pouring from my mouth -- blood.  I could tell.  It had an iron taste, and was warm like a humid summer day at the park.

     I glanced up, and there was a paramedic rushing over to me.

     "Quick!  Get her clothes off, now!"

     I could feel my body jerking around, but something was missing.  I couldn't feel my feet, my legs, or my arms.  What had happened to them, I wasn't really sure.  Things were becoming a bit blurry.  For some reason, it felt as though a cold front just came in.  It got so cold that my body just gave up on trying to move at all.  My vision was fleeting by that point, and where I could see, fireflies danced in their rapture.

     A change came my way, then.  Not the sort of change that you feel screws up your life's good stream of Karma.  Rather, a sort of change that you would only come to know during the in-between.

     Bliss.

     Freedom.

     "Feel better now?"  I heard someone call in a whisper.

     All I could see was that transparent light that engulfed my dreams every night, before.  It was comforting.  The feeling that nothing could possibly go wrong any longer.  God, I missed this.  It's been thousands of years since I've felt so free.

     "Hey Jill.  It's me.  You made me wait for so long."

     "I'm sorry," I told him.

     "It's okay -- you're home now."

     We walked off into the sunlight.  The gates were taken care of and already open for us.

Author's Note

Please give me any criticism you see fit. I'm looking to improve...by a lot.

Reviews

[Catrinka]

I love the subject matter, I love the perspective - really engaged my attention. If you are interested in expanding it, I'd like to read more about the character who is there to pick her up - I'm intrigued - who is it? I want to know more about their relationship...you have an engaging style of writing - very natural, uncontrived...real. Great job!