Chapter 7 (Final)

Rouasha's POV

Sam hugs me tightly with my face buried in his chest. Tears fall down my face and I deathly afraid to find out what's going to happen to me.

He pulls away and writes on my iPad.

'Judge: We have come to a decision.'

I nod. This is it.

'Judge: Sam, do you think we live in a fantasy world? He killed 10 people.' Crap. 'No we are not just gonna let him go. He committed a serious crime more that once.' More tears fall down me face. 'We have decided that Rouasha will have a life sentence in jail. And he will be on death row.' No! 'And that is our final decision.' No!!

I could tell as Sam typed his hands started shaking. He couldn't believe what he just heard. He was so determined that his speech was going to lead them in the right direction. But all it did was seal my fate.

I look at Sam and I see tears streaming down his face. "But-" He says, probably whispering, "No. I can't believe it." He looks at me. "I'm so sorry Rouasha. I couldn't save you."

I look at the judge with a pleading look in my eyes. She hits her desk with her gavel. "This case is closed." She declares.

I suddenly hug Sam tightly and bury my face in his chest and I sob uncontrollably into his chest. Sam's shaking and I can tell he's probably crying too.

My life is over.

***

5 years later...

5 years of my life has gone by.

5 years in this hell-hole.

I hated every second that I was in here.

Except for the times Sam came to visit.

I can tell he's not doing so well.

He's lost a ton of weight and he's became so pale. He blames himself for what happened in court 5 years ago.

I'm now 20 years old and he's 21.

They have now scheduled the date for when I die.

Both he and I are in a deep depression.

And like him I've also lost a lot of weight and became deathly pale.

I'm just currently sitting in my cell wishing I could just die right now. But they took away everything I could kill myself with.

They're required to keep me alive till I receive the death penalty.

I'm scheduled to die in 2 days.

I jerk when I feel a tap on my shoulder.

"You have a visitor." The guard says.

I nod.

He pulls me up and handcuffs my wrist together in front of me.

I get led into the visitors room and Sam's standing there waiting for me.

I run over to him and we hug tightly after the guard takes off my handcuffs.

"How are you managing?" He asks when we pull away.

I shrug.

He smiles slightly with sadness in his eyes.

"Is it scheduled?" He asks. I immediately know what he's asking about.

'2 days' I sign. He managed to teach me a bit of sign language in his visits. But not enough to carry a conversation.

"Oh." He says. But then he suddenly jumps forward and hugs me tightly. I can tell he's crying from his shaking.

What's up with him? I should be the one that's sad and scared. Yet here I am comforting him.

But I think I just learned to accept that I'm gonna die. There's no way out of it.

He pulls away and we lightly kiss each other. It wasn't hungry or rough. Just a sweet loving kiss. Or maybe more known as a goodbye kiss.

'Do you think they'll let you come watch and maybe say our last goodbye?' I slowly mouth to make sure he gets the whole sentence. Since they didn't allow me to have my iPad or have anything to write with, my only option is to mouth the words.

"I-I don't know. I don't think I have the strength to watch you die though."

'Then maybe you can just come to say goodbye?'

"Yeah. If they let me that is."

I nod and we hug again.

I'm scared.

I don't want to die, yet at the same time, I do.

Being trapped in this place along with the guilt of killing my family is literally eating me alive. And dying will stop all the pain. Unless I end up going to hell that is.

"Hey Rouasha?"

'Yeah?'

"You should asks God to forgive you."

'God?'

"Yeah. I know I never told you I was religious or anything but I am. Maybe you'll be able to go to heaven if you welcome God into your heart and ask for forgiveness. I don't want you to go to hell."

'That was sudden.'

"Yeah..." He admits. "I just worry for you. And it would make me happy if I know you're in heaven an not hell."

'But, I know nothing about God and his son Jesus. I've never attended church. No one ever taught me about it except what everybody is taught in history class.'

"It doesn't matter. You at least know the basics and that's fine. Please pray to God."

I nod. I close my eyes then I start, 'Ok. God, um, this is kinda sudden but, can you forgive me? Please? I'm tired of the guilt from killing them! And I would also like to welcome Jesus into my heart. I know that you're an amazing guy and you would welcome and love anyone. No matter what. So please, erase my sins. I want to have eternal life and go to heaven. Thank you God. Amen.' I finish and open my eyes.

Sam smiles and we hug yet again. "Thank you Rouasha." Sam says.

I feel a tap on my shoulder so I look behind me and see my guard.

"Your time is up Rouasha." He says.

'Ok.' I turn to Sam. 'Sorry, I got to go.'

"Ok. Hopefully I can see you one last time."

I nod. 'Me too.'

The guard then handcuffs my wrist again and pulls me away without another word.

***

2 days later...

I'm now being lead to my death. My head down with tears falling down my face the whole way. My hands handcuffed in front of me.

We stop and as the door to my death is being opened, someone's arms go around me in a hug. I look up in surprise and I see Sam looking at me with tears falling down his face.

'You were able to come.' I mouth to him.

He nods. "I was. They allow people to come and watch. My moms also here." I look behind him and I see his mom looking at us sadly. I slowly wave at her and she waves back.

A guard comes up to us, "Time to go." He says.

We have a quick kiss and hug tightly for the last time.

The guards pull me away from him.

'No!' I try to scream out with my silent voice. I struggle against them but I eventually give up cause I know it won't do anything. The tears stop and I just put on a face empty of any emotion.

They lead me into the room and I can see Sam's mom sobbing into her hands and Sam standing with his hands against the glass, tears still falling down his face.

I get lead to the gurney. I sit down and they take off my handcuffs. They push me to lay down and I get strapped down.

This is it.

One of comes with two needles. She puts one into one arm, and one into the other. They set up a heart monitor so they know when I'm gone.

The drugs start to go into my body and I immediately relax. My eyes close. Next I lose the control of my muscles. I can't move, I can't breathe. I can't believe it's really happening.

I can feel my heart slow down.

Eventually, it stops.

Sam's POV

The line on the heart monitor went flat.

He's gone.

He looked so peaceful as it was happening. But I know it wasn't peaceful for him.

"No." I whisper. "No!" I yell. "He can't be dead!" I slowly sink to my knees my hand still on the glass. I can't take my eyes off of him.

They take the bounds off of him and they carry him off who knows where.

I walk up to one of the guards. "Do you think we can have his body. I want to have a proper funeral for him."

"Sorry we can't do that." He responds.

"Oh ok." My head drops and I go sit down next to my mom.

'He's gone' I sign to her.

'I'm sorry hun.' She signs back.

'They won't allow us to have his body.'

'Hun, we can still have a funeral whether or not we have the body.'

'I know. It's just, I would have liked to see him one last time at the funeral. But now I can't.'

'We will still have a funeral for him.'

'But, who will come? He has no family or friends.'

'I don't know.'

***

2 weeks later...

It was after the funeral now and I was looking at his tombstone.

'Here lies Rouasha

April 1992 - May 2012

He was deaf and mute but a beloved boyfriend'

And I walk back to the house.

***

The next day...

Ever since the funeral I've been laying on his bed. I haven't slept or eaten.

I guess this is what they call depression. I just feel like an empty shell. I'm not hungry or anything.

I guess I was depressed for the last five years. But now that he's gone, it's worse. Before I still could at least see him during visiting hours. Now I can't see him at.

I stare at the small blade in my hand. Should I do it? Will I be able to be with him if I do?

But what will happen to my mom if I do? But, if I don't do it I'll just be an empty shell for the rest of my life. I truly loved him. We never had sex, we never touched each other in that way, but even though we didn't, I loved him. Love is not about sex. It's about what you feel for each other. And seeing him die killed me inside.

I press the blade against my wrist until a small bead of blood appears.

I slowly slide the blade down my arm along one of the blood veins. Blood pours out of my arm. I shake as I take the blade in my other arm and cut that one the same way.

I let my arms fall down beside me on the bed and I can feel the blood empty out of my body.

My breathing and heartbeat slows.

And I breathe my last breath.

THE END

Reviews

[FlatLineBeauty]

This whole story had me on the edge of my seat. It was gorgeous and really picked at my brain. It is lovely in every way. The point and view to show that even though murder is wrong, some people can do it without thinking or truly not knowing it is wrong... I'm not justifying every person who commits murder, but there are people who truly believe it is right or don't know its wrong. If I were in his shoes, how would I deal with it? Possibly the same way. That and for Sam to see beyond his faults and love him the way he is, that is the meaning of love. To look past all faults with perfect love and compassion. I applaud this piece. Thank you for sharing!

[Kuroko Chigokoro]

Aw thanks :)

[FlatLineBeauty]

very very welcome!

[Kuroko Chigokoro]

If you want to read more stories look up KurokoChigokoro on Wattpad.com. :) I have a lot more stories on there. I also tend to actually update on that site.

[FlatLineBeauty]

oh cool! nice to know bud :)