Chapter 10

Kurai's POV

I hear beeping and I think 'where the f**k am I?'

I remember trying to have sex with Alex, then him pushing me away and saying bye...

I must've moved or something cause I hear a voice say my name.

"Hmm?" Was all I could get out.

"Kurai! Are you ok?" I realize it was Alex talking to me and I crack open my eyes.

"Alex?" I mumble out. "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital. You cut your wrist multiple times and cut your veins a few times in the process. You were losing a lot of blood so you got rushed to the hospital." Alex explains.

"Why're you here? I thought you hated me."

"Kurai after I saw you being carried out of your house on a stretcher I realized that was mean of me to say. I should've realized how fragile you are and should've just calmly explained it to you. I shouldn't have yelled at you about the sex. So for that, I'm sorry."

"No, Alex, I'm sorry. I was in the wrong to suddenly ask that of you. I knew in my head that it was wrong but I was tired of feeling numb. I was hoping sex would actually help me feel something. I was just tired of feeling f*****g numb!"

"Kurai." He says calmly. "Sex is never the answer for wanting to feel something ok? I just know that afterwords you would be even more upset cause it didn't work. I know you don't have feelings for me yet so it won't work. But love will. I promise you that if you allow me to love you and you hopefully start to love me, that's when you will start feeling something. I promise."

"Is it really that easy?"

"No Kurai. It is not easy to love someone. You ever hear that 'love at first sight' phrase? I don't believe in that. I think the phrase should be 'lust at first sight' not love. To love someone, you need to spend time with that person, trust that person, get to know that person, share all your secrets with that person. It is never good to keep a secret from them cause then they will eventually find out and they will lose their trust for you. Any relationship is built on trust. Do you understand?"

I slowly nod my head.

"Good."

The doctor walks in with a smile in his face. Somebody must have informed him I was awake or something.

"So you have awoken huh?" The doctor asks.

I nod. "How long have I been out?"

"2 days. You really did lose a lot of blood. You're lucky your mom found you when she did. Or else you would've died."

I just stay silent.

"Now did you actually try to kill yourself or was that an accident?"

"I didn't mean to cut the veins." I say in a whisper. "I was just so upset with Alex leaving me my mind was clouded and I didn't have any control over myself. I just did it and accidentally went too deep."

"So you cut often?"

I nod.

"Do you eat?"

"Not very much. Sometimes none."

"What do you feel?"

"I feel numb."

He sighs. "How long has this been going on?"

"About two years."

"You really should've asked for help for your depression."

"I never thought about it."

"Doctor. I believe I can help him." Alex suddenly says.

"But weren't you the one that caused him to do this in the first place?"

"Yes, I know. That was a terrible mistake I should've remembered how fragile he is. But from now on I will stay by his side. I will love him and care for him. I believe I can heal him."

The doctor smiles. "Well said son. I think I can trust him in your care."

"Thank you doctor."

"Well Kurai. You are able to check out since you're perfectly fine now. I hope you get better." He smiles again and leaves the room.

"Come on Kurai." Alex says.

"Um." I don't know what to do right now. He says to trust him but I'm afraid he will leave me again. I'm afraid that he will decide I'm not worth it and just leave.

"Kurai." He suddenly says. "Get the negative thoughts out of your head and let's go."

I get up and get dressed in the clothes that were laid out for me. Alex leads me to the front desk and we check out.

"Where's mom?" I asks.

"She had to go to work. Oh that reminds me I should call her."

We walk to his car and we get in. He starts it and once we were on the street he calls my mom to tell her that I was ok.

"So are you ready to try this out again Kurai?"

I just ignore him, not knowing what to say.

Reviews

[soliloquy]

This seems to be a pivotal place in the book. It seems that their relationship and health depends on what happens right now....I will keep reading....

[Kuroko Chigokoro]

...ok lol