Chapter 6

Last period of the day and I'm constantly scratching my wrist. I've been dying to cut all day, but Alex took my knife away.

I begged him at lunch to give it back but he wouldn't.

I haven't eaten yet today also. I'm just not hungry. Bleeding a bit sometimes help with that though.

I look at the clock in anticipation for the day to end.

As soon as the bell rings I run out of the classroom and out of the school. I just need to avoid Alex.

I get home luckily without seeing him, but when I checked my phone I see multiple text and missed calls from him.

When I get home I go straight to my room and I lock the door ignoring the calls from my mom. I go into my bathroom and I pull out my razor. I didn't want to pull it apart but I guess in going to have to.

After a couple of minutes of fumbling with it I finally get it apart. But not without cutting my fingers a couple times in the process.

I run the water in the bathtub freezing cold while I get my clothes off. After stripping I slip into the water gasping in the process. Using freezing cold water helps me actually feel something, another way how I deal with things.

I grab the blade and I slowly run the blade along my wrist; blood slips out as I do this, but not too much that I will kill myself. I'm just not ready to take that final step. It takes a lot of courage and strength to do that. But I'm not sure which requires more, living or dying?

I cut my wrist again and I gasp at the pleasure going through my body. Maybe I am a masochist. Only a masochist would get pleasure from pain.

I look down and I notice I slightly hard. Maybe I should pleasure myself, maybe it'll help.

I grab my c**k and I slowly stroke myself. My strokes slowly get faster and now I'm panting and moaning from the pleasure.

I run my fingers along my chest and n*****s while still stroking myself with my other hand. By now I have blood all over my chest from my cuts.

I realize it isn't enough to bring me I climax.

I decide to squeeze my c**k as hard as I can while still quickly stroking it. But it still wasn't enough.

I then take the blade in my other hand and I run it along my chest and stomach, cutting in a few places.

I moan a bit when some blood slips from the cuts.

I then decide to run the blade along my legs, arms, back, shoulders, neck, and even my c**k. And eventually I have blood all over my body and the water isn't clear anymore.

I pant faster and moan some more as I stroke myself a few more times before I cum.

I let my arms fall to my sides and I breathe deeply to try to get myself down from my high. Yep, I am officially a masochist. But I can't believe it helped.

I actually felt alive.

Maybe I should w***e myself out or something? No that wouldn't be a good idea.

I've heard of people using sex as a way to deal with life. Maybe I can get Alex to help. He wants to help change me right?

Maybe this could work.

Reviews

[soliloquy]

Whoa....this is getting intense! Very serious stuff. A little addiction too.

[Kuroko Chigokoro]

Lol

[soliloquy]

I meant...A little addicting. :0)

[Kuroko Chigokoro]

lol k