I know I used Doth and Thou and such, I simply felt like using old style language, which I may have forced away in some points. I thank you deeply for looking at this, and I would like an honest opinion.... Thank you very much. ^.^ I love you Helena!
My Review
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This piece flows nicely and does "show" your passion in my opinion, but I don't "feel" it, it doesn't seem to break the emotional barrier for me, try putting more of yourself and your feelings in your poems of love in the future. Keep posting though!
Oh, and I'm not sure if you're going for proper punctuation, but if so, try question marks after lines such as;
"How doth a rose compare to even you!,
Doth it sparkle moreso elegantly,
Doth it smell sweeter,"
You might want to do some research on how to properly use archaic language like that. I don't know much about it myself but "Thou ist" sounds like it ought to be "Thou art."
I am a poet for fun.... I'm just average frankly, but I enjoy writing them in my free time. Normally, my poems are about love, Tragedy, but most of them revolve around my thoughts and how I am feeling.. more..