A Short Introduction

The product of a coffee induced caffeine high.

I want to travel. I want to travel to Spain, France, England, Ireland, Russia, Morocco, Bora Bora, Cuba, Afghanistan, Peru, Israel, Italy. I want to be a tourist. I want to see the sun touch foreign soil. I want to experience a language barrier. I want to be culturally shocked. I want to be on a plane, on a train, on a boat, in a car. I want to walk in the footsteps of a million people I’ve never met before.

I want to read. I want to read classics, memoirs, poems, textbooks, biographies, cheesy sci-fi novels, cliché crime thrillers. I want to befriend Mr. Darcy. I want to be able to quote everything at any time. I want to know, I want to learn, I want to understand.

I want to write. I want to write more. I want to write better. I want to shake the feeling that I have nothing to write about. I want to have a style that’s witty, clever, charming, misanthropic, cynical. I want positive reviews. I want people to love my work. I want to be clever.

I want to learn. I want to learn about Jewish history, black holes, birds, farm equipment, architecture, manatees, Greek mythology, algorithms, the FBI, the string theory, Arabic, the origins of man. I want to be able to rattle off facts and statistics that no one cares about.

I want to run. I want to run faster and smoother. I want to feel the steady reassuring pressure of my feet stroking concrete, asphalt, grass, leaves, water puddles, sand, mud. I want to feel the burn that starts deep in my belly and travels up my throat and crawls through my veins. I want to feel exhausted.

I want to feel accomplished. I want to cook a delicious meal. I want to write a captivating story with perfectly flawed characters. I want to make a work of art that I’m proud of. I want the satisfaction of making someone’s day better, giving someone directions, giving someone helpful advice, taking on someone else’s pain. I want to feel the unmistakable swell of importance.

I want to be confident. I want to be able to ride my skateboard on a steady pair of legs. I want to know exactly what to see in every situation. I want to walk with my head up. I want to be comfortable with how I look naked, in a swim suit, in a dress, in a t-shirt and jean shorts. I want to order my coffee without saying “um.” I want to have a stride.

I want to be smart. I want to know everything. I want to gobble up every bit of information I can. I want to annoy my friends with my infinite knowledge. I want to make all A’s, win awards, graduate with honors, make deadlines, do complex math in my head, expand my vocabulary. I want to be a walking encyclopedia.

I want to be a forensic analyst. I want to work for a federal law enforcement agency. I want to wear shirt with my last name on it. I want people to say “oh, like what they do on CSI?” when I introduce myself at parties, even though it annoys me. I want to photograph dead bodies, sneeze black fingerprint powder, cry when a crime is gruesome or the victim is a child, bond with co-workers who share my love for justice over after work drinks. I want to be a crime solver. I want to be a young girl’s hero.

I want to find an old camera at thrift store. I want to collect seashells. I want to be a better girlfriend. I want to inspire someone. I want to see my grandfather again. I want to have children. I want to sing and dance and be happy and embrace clichés.

I want to live.

Reviews

[Maan]

Be careful about what you outta life, it can be beautiful dream if you begin achieving what you want and it hurts like hell when what you expect turns out to be an impossible something. Well your writing doubtlessly is really nice. Considering your writing a dream, a wish, loads of bright feelings, it actually is inspiring.

[allie_arrowz]

Your inspiration inspired me. :)