GONE

Springtime

on Lake Harding

in our family cabin,

enjoying the lake

and its amenities

along with our family.

Married four years,

four months along

with our first child,

Bedtime came.

I awoke that night

with such a start;

standing by my bed

staring down at me

tall, dark, and silent,

you gave me such

a horrific fright in your

hooded black robe,

which had no face.

I closed my eyes,

"Let me be dreaming!"

Upon opening them

you were gone,

but the next day

so was my baby.

© 2015 Suzanna Jayne Mullins

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

So heartbreaking and I hope you are back to life again, I loved how you used less amount of words to create more effect in this poem... It really speaks louder in the ending phase, a happy day turns into a painful dream... The poem tells a story of its own... Beautifully done and a courageous write frnd... God bless you...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[SJ Mullins]

Some things one never really gets over, but this was four years into my marriage, and we have now been married 37+ years, have two beautiful grown children, and an adorable grandson. Life has been good. :) Thank you so much for your kind review. Much appreciated.

[William Gardner]

I like this one. It has the feel of a folk song and the structure pulls you down a rabbit hole almost like music written on a page. Very clever. Thanks!

[SJ Mullins]

Thank you very much!~

[Pryde Foltz]

Terrifying, Suzanna. I too hope only an imaginative tell. If not you have my sympathy. A short story in the making, I believe:)

[SJ Mullins]

It happened exactly as I wrote it four years into my marriage. The baby I miscarried would have been my first, thank you. I have now been married for 37+ years and have been blessed with two children, and now a grandson, but some things one never forgets. A short story. Hmmm, now there is pause for thought. :) Thanks, Pryde. :)

[Pryde Foltz]

You gave yourself a vision so it might ease the pain. So you would not lose faith.I was blessed with a vision dream when my son was conceived .... gardens, red birds trying to get in the house, a grey cat I had to chase away and then asian wise man who spoke of rebirth. You are not alone in this phenomenon:)

[SJ Mullins]

Wow, that is amazing. Thanks for sharing. :) At least yours was a more positive experience!

[Woody]

wow! so simple and yet you manage to creep out the reader. very King-esque and what a finish!
love it, SJ.

[SJ Mullins]

You should have been in my shoes that night, you would have been beyond creeped out. One of the scariest moments of my life! It happened just as I wrote it. I hope to NEVER experience anything like that EVER EVER again. ::shiver:: Funny thing is Stephen King is one of my favorite writers. I have read many of his books. I have so many dreams that would definitely make a novel comparable to one of his, lol. I distinctly remember one of my dreams, in particular, about lizard people. They were like chameleons, only instead of changing colors, they changed back and forth between being lizards and people!

[Woody]

haha Gee I wish I had interesting dreams like yours.

[SJ Mullins]

I don't know about that! I have woke my Hubby up screaming in my sleep, nearly scared him half to death, lol. I need to get up right then and there and right the gist of them down because so many of them are forgotten. :P Keep a dream journal. I can dream some doozies, let me tell you! ;)

[barleygirl]

This starts out somewhat like a listing of the facts of the situation, so I started to feel a bit disinterested by the clinical nature of the writing style in the beginning. Then about halfway thru, the scene grows mysterious & full of strong emotion, thru to the end, such that this becomes powerful & personal & vivid in the scenario that's finally painted. At this point, the beginning feels a little more understandable, like a fragile person holding herself together by staying within the dots of expository writing. Like the narrator is breathlessly trying to get thru this, blurting it out, before emotion gets the better of her.

[SJ Mullins]

I really appreciate your reviews. You are soberly honest, and I very much appreciate that. If a flaw is spotted in my poetry, and you see a way that I can make it better, by all means point it out. I do not mind at all. I want to be the best I can be. This happened exactly as I wrote it. I hope to never see such a frightening thing again ever in my life!

[barleygirl]

I'm sorry to hear this is non-fiction . . . I hope your baby was discovered to be OK right away! (((HUGS)))

[SJ Mullins]

I lost what would have been my first baby the next day after seeing "the grim reaper" but God blessed my husband and I with two wonderful children, a son and a daughter. My daughter made me a grandmother in 2014. My little grandson is my heart! :)

[barleygirl]

WOW! Very intense experiences, both joyful & not-so-much! Thanks again for sharing so openly. I can't imagine how it must've been for you (((HUGS)))

[SJ Mullins]

I am the one who should be thanking you! You wrote this piece so eloquently, and hopefully it will reduce some of the stigma associated with rape. I admire writer's who are willing to write about things that most wouldn't want to touch and do it so well. Hugs to you and your sweet mother as well. xxx

[jacob erin-cilberto]

incredibly sad piece---mysterious throughout...using what seems like a dream sequence which turns into a reality.

j.

[SJ Mullins]

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. It was a very horrific thing to live through. It all happened exactly as I wrote it.