Keep hope

When you have no words,
Nothing to say,
When all time's dissolved,
In a short day,

When you're trapped in the middle,
With no where to run,
When you can seem to find,
That shining gold sun,

When you're lost in a dream,
And there's no coming out,
When all you can do,
Is sit and pout,

Remember, look forward.
Smile, you should.
You're not here to cry,
But to do good.

Author's Note

I'm still searching for the perfect title for this one. I can't really find one. Any suggestions?

Reviews

[Cid]

Review :
I think The title should be "TO BE GOOD"
The poem's enjoyable reading. It's an interesting one.

Rating : 100/100!
Note : "Lovely write!"

[Emmy]

Thanks! I think I'm going to leave the title though, cause idk I just liked that one:p

[PoetryPenPal]

I think you should call this "Smile." I liked this poem, but you spelled "shining" incorrectly.

[Emmy]

Haha thanks! I was having trouble with the title but I'll leave it for now, and I didn't even knot ice, thanks!

[MAC]

a well done inspirational poem...

[Emmy]

Thank you!!!

[Cryingkate]

It's perfect as it is Emmy, change nothing,
If it needs a change in the future you will see it.
you will feel it.
When it speaks to you what to name it they'll come to you too.
These poems are reflections of the soul.
there is no good bad.
Enjoy the mirrored image given you, when it changes you either write another or alter this. But this is good...

[Emmy]

Thank you so much! That means a lot;)

[Shawn M]

You should always be wary of rhyming in poetry. A lot of times it easily becomes forced and can wreck a poem. It amplifies this issues when lines are switched in unnecessary ways, specifically line 14 "Smile, you should." The only reason you have written that this way is to fit into your rhyme scheme. It is different if, in your writing, you use this kind of structure switching. But because you don't, it makes the reader stop in the middle of reading because the rhyme has become distracting. I don't use rhyme unless I can do it in a non-traditional scheme, like ABCABC DEFDEF. When you do it this way you can disguise your rhyme better and take away the childish aspect of rhyme, or the "Dr. Seuss" of it. Hope this helps! -Shawn

[Emmy]

Thanks for the helpful advice! I'm going to eave this poem as it is, but I will definitely keep this in mind while writing future poems! Thanks again for taking the time to help me out!

[Shawn M]

Any time! If you get the chance, I'd love it if you could stop by my work and see if you can help! :)