::Eien no Nemuri::

Eum this "poem" follows the Haiku poetry struture [5 syllables, 7 syllables and 5 syllables]...which I guess explains the utter incoherence of this work.I cannot write >_>;;;;

::永遠の眠り::

The sleeping were those
Who saw a world, where waking
Wouldn’t be worth it

Reviews

[Flying Bacon Goddess]

I found this an excellent piece of writing, even though it was only seventeen words long. You kept it in the traditional haiku rhyme scheme, and the meaning of it jumped out at me. Don't say you can't write because, quite obviously, you can: the words there managed to paint an abstract yet beautiful image in my head. The dual meaning of this poem, with it referencing both death and dreams, really made it powerful.

However, I was wondering why you wrote this in past tense, seeing as it would be true even for the modern world. Was there anything hidden you wanted to convey? Just curious. ^^

[Scyoni]

That's great... Really it's very deep, and your grammar isn't bad at all, I don't see any verb tense problems or anything... it's in the traditional haiku rhyme-scheme, and your spelling is perfect. This gets a great score from me.

This is a wonderful insightful piece of work, I hope to see more from you.