Shirley Charlene McDuff

Shirley Charlene McDuff

amassed mountainous piles of stuff:

knick-knacks, trinkets and small souvenirs,

calendar pages from the past dozen years,

books and plates and blankets and lamps,

collections of teacups and thimbles and stamps,

busted up drums and stringless guitars,

old Tupperware and cracked Mason jars,

dolls and toys and games from her youth,

her first lock of hair, her first-ever lost tooth

 

Shirley just could not part with it all

her stuff overflowed every shelf on the wall,

inside the cabinets and under the bed,

up in the attic and out in the shed…

 

Then Shirley went missing for one hundred days

her neighbor went in and confronted the maze

Shirley was located, surely enough

buried beneath her piles of stuff

 

(So, my dear friends, there’s a lesson to heed,

keep only the things you really do need

lest you suffer the fate of Shirley McDuff

and suffocate under your own useless stuff!)

Author's Note

Brought to you by my own useless heaps that have been tossed over the past few weeks...

Reviews

[Pryde Foltz]

So, my dear friends, there’s a lesson to heed,
keep only the things you really do need
lest you suffer the fate of Shirley McDuff
and suffocate under your own useless stuff!

Purge, purge …. and don't forget the attic. otherwise the roof might just cave in. Great write, Rita.

[Rita L. Sev]

Ha! Thank you, Pryde! We are on the last leg of our home renovations, and we are still purging - we feel so much lighter! :)

[Marie]

This almost happened. I realized that my house and garage were controlling me instead of the other way around. So I started getting rid of stuf. Bags and bags of it. Now I know where everything is. Of course I add more stuff every week, but at least it's organized.

[Rita L. Sev]

We got rid of many bags, as well - and there's still one more room to go. But we are getting organized, too. I am going to make an effort to not add more stuff - that's not going to be easy! ;)

[Marie]

The thing is, I go to a lot of garage sales nd get "garage sale stuff"> Then I have to put it somewhere.

[Frieda P]

This was great fun to read, but a real problem...even when we don't think we're 'junk' collectors, there comes a time when we realize most of what we've kept was useless, hoarders is a whole other story. I suppose you have gotten rid of all your useless junk in you renovations....good on Shirley! ;)

[Rita L. Sev]

Thanks, Frieda - yep, part of the revamp is the grand exodus of junk - very cathartic.

[Frieda P]

It's like moving, as much as I abhor it, it's good to purge all that old stuff. My pleasure Rita.

[willweb]

This was very fun to read today Rita. This is the kind of "stuff" I like.

[Rita L. Sev]

;) Thank you, Will!

[Sheila Kline]

Oh my...........this is very entertaining, but I can't really relate as I am too much one who does not like to keep what is not needed. A hoarder I am not, but I have known those who are and I say, "to each, their own". If we don't hear from you for a while, we will go searching under those too many piles.............LOL

[Rita L. Sev]

Lol! I cringe when I look at the bags awaiting trash day or donation - all that space is now free in our house. You have the right attitude, Sheila - if you don't need it, let it go! Thanks! ;)

[Baby Ricochet]

Everything I own can fit in the back of my truck, one trip. More than that is to much and if you have to rent a storage shed you're crazy.

[Rita L. Sev]

That is a very healthy philosophy, Mark!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

OMG this makes me think of my ex wife, she kept things that was never gonna be used again, like old term papers from high school… what a highly fun and entertaining read.

[Rita L. Sev]

Ha! Thanks, Dale! You should see the things we are finding around here... yes, some things from high school and college days... but we have done well with letting go. :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Well good I am glad to hear that.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this so reminds me of George Carlins comedy routine "a place for my stuff"---

you are so clever, and your poems contain such smiles...

and yet...you broach such a serious subject...southern illinois is bad for this...there are often stories on our local news about hoarders...

houses and trailers so full a person can't even get in the front door.

thank you for that...

jacob

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Jacob! Love that Carlin bit! I know that this can be a serious problem for some people, and I certainly did not want to make light of it - but I think so many of us hold on to stuff for too long, until it seems impossible to let go... Over the past couple of weeks, we have cleared a lot of usable space by saying goodbye to those things, and we feel a lot lighter...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i don't think you made light of it...your poem reminds me of the theater of the absurd...just like edward albee's play "the sandbox"

how the daughter and husband treated her mother...it was presented in absurd way, and comical..but really to show just how absurd it is how we treat the elderly.

and you did a really good job with this poem..you make us laugh but at the same time make us stop and think about the tragedy of it all.

[Marie]

I remember that Carlin routine; I loved it.

[Lyn Anderson]

This is clever, and cute, but also, sadly, a truth -- hoarding is not funny, even though it seems like it is on the surface, and purging is good for the soul.:)

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, KL. No, it's not funny at all - I have known two serious hoarders. We are in the process of having every room painted, along with some repairs, and we have been unearthing so much junk in usable spaces...