Very well done Rita, clever and fun. Great mix of imagery and energy. Your poem had a nice soft flow that lets the reader enjoy the story. A good lesson to learn.
Richie
Love your playful description of the hoarding tendencies most of us have, to some degree . . . it's always fun to poke fun at those who have it worse, cuz then we don't feel so bad about our own clutter, huh? You open with a delightful listing of many possessions, done with excellent rhyme & rhythm, reflecting the playful mocking tone of this piece. I also loved the next stanza describing all the ways junk can be stored & stacked up. The third stanza felt a bit of a letdown after this dramatic build-up . . . I was kinda expecting something with just a tad more drama, after your opening dramatic scene setup. For example, stacks tumbling like dominoes, or whatever, with just her slippers poking out in the place where an aisle used to be. Still, it's a fun & relatable read! Thanks for sharing!
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thanks, Barleygirl! It is hard to let go of some stuff, but so satisfying to bask in the space!
This brings to mind the case of Langley Collyer. You'd probably enjoy reading about his death. Beyond that, this was a well metered work with excellent word selection. Fun to read and yet representing a true psychological problem for some. I enjoyed it very much.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you, DrD - I actually have read about the Collyer brothers; a fascinating case, at a time when.. read moreThank you, DrD - I actually have read about the Collyer brothers; a fascinating case, at a time when hoarding was less understood.
my mother was somewhat like this ... not so much to suffocate but enough to dazzle ... she always would say to those who had the temerity to ask .. "When you need something .. won't you be glad that i have it"
She always did .. and knew just where it was ;)
E.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
If your mother knew where it was, and she got use out of her stuff, then she had it together! Over .. read moreIf your mother knew where it was, and she got use out of her stuff, then she had it together! Over the past few weeks, we have tossed things we haven't needed, enjoyed, or even looked at in years. :) Thanks for reading, E!
10 Years Ago
yes she certainly did have it together .. we miss her dearly ..
E.
I think there is a secret hoarder in all of us. One thing I do know for sure, is that the very moment I finally throw something away, I find I need it the very next day.
Much enjoyed this. :)
Beccy
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
:) It can be hard to let go, that's so true. You have a point, too - but anything we really need, w.. read more:) It can be hard to let go, that's so true. You have a point, too - but anything we really need, we can usually replace if necessary! Thanks, Beccy!
OMG, Rita, this is so appropos for me right now. Cleaning out my mother in law's condominium and wondering why she kept some of the stuff she kept. It has prompted my hubby and me to clean out the "stuff" we are buried under in our home. A delightfully humorous look at the hoarder. The rhyming is perfect! Lydi**
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thanks, Lydi! It's so easy to see it in other people's homes, but it's so hard to part with our own.. read moreThanks, Lydi! It's so easy to see it in other people's homes, but it's so hard to part with our own "treasures". :)
HA! I am saying nothing about my piles, LOL -- if you saw them, you'd die of a coronary. Nah, only kidding, I am quite the neat little person... I like everything look tidy and all. If I went to her house and saw that, I'd walk right back out, LMAO! You made me laugh.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
:) Thanks, Noodle - you know I love to give a laugh! My own piles are finally gone, and believe me.. read more:) Thanks, Noodle - you know I love to give a laugh! My own piles are finally gone, and believe me, we feel a lot lighter!
cute I always say if you havent touched it in a year let it go
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
You should have seen all that we threw out last week during some renovations... let's just say there.. read moreYou should have seen all that we threw out last week during some renovations... let's just say there were things that hadn't seen the light of day in decades... :) Thanks, Tate!
Were it not for the multitude of moves I've made over the years, I might have found myself in the same predicament...I always hated parting with the most minor possessions...your dry humour is definitely in full force here, and the rhymes are spot-on...great work my friend.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thanks, Steve. It is getting easier to toss things than when I was younger, but I know I have still.. read moreThanks, Steve. It is getting easier to toss things than when I was younger, but I know I have still held on to too much... All about that balance, I suppose... :)
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