Assault Similes

I’m sure that no one’s told you,

but you really ought to know ~

you’re as warm and as appealing

as the yellowest of snow;

your ignorance surpasses

cell phones ringing at a wake;

your conversation hearkens back

to Eve’s chat with the snake;

whenever someone asks

if you possess rapier wit,

I say that you’re as sharp

as a banana in a split;

your traits are as attractive

as old Granny Gert undressed;

a comb for Mr. Clean would best describe your usefulness ;

your personality is like

a worn out hockey puck;

it’s time for you to know the truth ~

you grade A, top notch schmuck.

Author's Note

Still thinking...

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are hilarious...your sense of humor shines in your tongue-in-cheek poetry...

you can bash...but with such a sardonic smile.

[Rita L. Sev]

A gift from my father, Jacob... :) Thank you.

[Cassie]

wow!!!! this is so good Rita, Thank you for sharing

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Cassie!

[Ty]

This made me smile. Thank you.

[Rita L. Sev]

That is the best compliment - Thank you, Ty!

[Baby Ricochet]

Hey I think this guy lives up the street from me.

[Rita L. Sev]

LOL! :) ....

[Frieda P]

LMAO, I've been waiting for this!! Hahaha, great one Rita, you assaulted my senses and knocked it out of the ballpark ;-)

You're grade A!

[Rita L. Sev]

You should see all the bizarre lines I have scribbled all over the place... LOL! Glad you liked it, Frieda!

[Frieda P]

Hahaha why didn't you add them? I can't stump you with a challenge, now my wheels are really rolling....watch out girl ;-P

[Rita L. Sev]

Uh-oh! As you can tell, it takes longer this time of year - but it gets my wheels turning! As for why some lines were left out, let's just say it's probably for the best!

[Frieda P]

Ha must be that morals clause from the Catholic school haha

[Rita L. Sev]

LOL! Do you really think "schmuck" was my first choice? ;)

[Frieda P]

LOL I love you Rita! hahaha

[Rita L. Sev]

:) Love you back, Frieda!