Heartbroken

Halloween is taking over my pen...

Poor Frankenstein, he’s brokenhearted

his sweetheart suddenly has departed

She left him cold on Halloween,

causing quite a monstrous scene

 

The reasons for the split, she said ~

no romance stirred in his flat head;

those neck bolts were just so passé

and throaty grunts were all he’d say

 

He’d thought that things were going great,

brought hemlock bouquets every date,

ripped open each and every door,

thought olive skin had rare allure

 

She said it all was not enough

no apology for her rebuff,

it mattered not how much he tried,

like Zombie hearts, their love had died

 

Now she set her standards higher,

trained her sights on that vampire

suave and charming in the night ~

they must turn in by morning light.

 

So desperate, lonely Frankenstein

has no one for his Valentine;

a swamp of tears the creature’s cried,

‘Cause no one wants to be his bride

Author's Note

Monsters are such interesting people... ;)

Reviews

[Angi]

Oh, Poor Frankie! Ha! This is such a good poem for Halloween, Rita. You really should gather all of your lighter things and create a chapbook for kids. I could totally see it. Angi~

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you so much, Angi! I am actually working to compile enough worthwhile pieces for just such an endeavor...

[Angi]

That is awesome!

[richom]

Why is it that the bad boy is the one most appealing to females. Let's see what she thinks of her choice when he sinks his fangs into her neck. Talk about abuse! Expertly written cadence and rhymes (enough/rebuff and higher/vampire especially). "Like Zombie hearts, their love had died." Great line.
Great poem.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Rich. Yes, she's in for quite a shock! ;) Glad you liked this!

[s y e]

Ooooooh, I love it! Halloween rocks, this is very cute and funny. I loved it. Will there be werewolves and vampires?

[Rita L. Sev]

Ooh! Werewolves! I haven't done one about them... :) Thanks, Noodle!

[kublakhan27]

After seeing the title and reading the first verse, I was preparing to point out how sombre this piece is in comparison to your usual work, then as I got further into it I started recognizing your traditional voice haha Still, it's inevitable that I will settle on the saddest possible way to interpret something, and it's the elements of heartbreak and unrequited love that resonates most with me here. I loved the zombie hearts line, as well as many others. Nice structure and flow. Well done my friend :)

[Rita L. Sev]

Thanks, K! Yes, it's hard for me to break out of my usual silliness, even in a poem about lost love... LOL!

[kublakhan27]

Hahaha It's okay bud, I think that has more to do with me as a reader :P

[Marie]

This one is certainly interesting...but let's face it: Vampires are irresistible...

[Rita L. Sev]

Yes, those smooth talkers leave lunkheads like Frank out in the cold! :)

[SyberRose]

I always love the witticism of your poems Rita...hey you have covered Halloween and Valentines day haa...:)

[Rita L. Sev]

Yes, now I need to start on Christmas (like the local Target has...) :) Thanks, Rose!

[Jack...]

It's alive!!!! The big question is, the broken heart, is it his or was it someone else's before?

Hey big guy, don't worry about it, did you check out that hairdo...white streaks are so 50's. I hear Gaga's looking for someone new.

Very cute and funny and...so Rita. Loved this humorous look at monster love.

[Rita L. Sev]

Yes, he can always get a replacement heart... And Lady Gaga would be perfect for him! Thanks for appreciating my very odd sense of humor, Jack!

[Lydia Shutter]

Your sense of humor is witty and clever and this was an absolute delight to read! My favorite images came from this:
"romance stirred in his flat head;
those neck bolts were just so passé
and throaty grunts were all he’d say"

Wonderful rhyming, great imagery! Lydi**

[Rita L. Sev]

I have known guys who fit this description... LOL! Thanks, Lydi!

[Emerald Seas]

Haha - this is so much fun! Poor Frankie though :(

[Rita L. Sev]

I suppose he can ask the good doctor for a new heart... :) Thank you, Sera!

[OTownPete]

Cute and timely write Rita. Your friend in words, Pete

[Rita L. Sev]

Thanks, Pete!