Senryu Series 9/11

Towering giants 

such small birds that took you down 

in September's sun 

 Pennsylvania field

became sanctified respite

of amazing grace

Immersed in the dark

a thousand beacons came forth

with the light of hope

We walk through our lives

guaranteed no tomorrows

clinging to regrets

Author's Note

The first three were written in 2013; the fourth on September 10, 2015. Don't carry those regrets with you - you may never get a chance to make amends...

Reviews

[Angi]

Oh Rita. These are all so good, but that first one gave me goosebumps and I am not joking. Angi~

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Angi. Those images still haunt...

[Joyce S. Greene]

Beautifully done series, Rita, though they are not senryu - I would call them haiku. Merriam Webster defines a senryu as: 3-line unrhymed Japanese poem structurally similar to haiku but treating human nature usually in an ironic or satiric vein. To see a wonderful sample of senryu and kyoka (the tanka version of senryu) see the online journal "Prune Juice." Your poems are a striking tribute to the victims of the 9/11 horrors.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Joyce. The debate about haiku/senryu is always raging... Haiku is always about nature; senryu is about human nature, and should be ironic. These really don't fit either, but I think they are closer to senryu... perhaps we need another name for an unrhymed, 17 syllable poem about anything at all... :)

[Joyce S. Greene]

We'll have to agree to disagree, Rita. I've read an awful lot of senryu, and your poems definitely don't fit the bill. They are almost reverential in nature. Some haiku writers don't like senryu at all (like Jane Reichold - a haiku and tanka master.) She calls a senryu, "a failed haiku." But, in any case, your poems were well written.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thanks again, Joyce! I like the form, whatever it is called!

[B-poet]

A tributary senryu masterpiece. Great work Rita. It was an unforgettable & tragic event that left a lot of hearts grieving & hurting still to this very day. Yet you've showed that even after a massive tragedy like this one, there's always hope for the sake of spiritual healing. :)

[Rita L. Sev]

Always hope... yes... Thank you, BP.

[kublakhan27]

This is amazing...I'm not sure if one could convey the pain and hurt any more poetically and poignantly than you have here...I can say little else in the midst of emotion I'm feeling right now...this is a work of devastating brilliance my friend.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you so much, K. I truly appreciate your words.

[kublakhan27]

Always a pleasure Rita :)

[Will]

With such short lines you are able to convey such anguish and power in these lines that I cannot begin to describe. This is marvelously done, and I like how you put several senryu together. I'm sure it's been done before, but I've never seen it. Great job, Rita.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you so much, Will.
There are a few poets here who sometimes do a grouping of related senryu.

[Will]

I'll have to look for it, as I definitely like it. I've never been much of a senryu writer myself, but I do enjoy reading it.

[Jack...]

A sad day, an important day, an amazing poem. I am reviewing this in the air somewhere over Arizona.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Jack. Safe travels...

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Beyond well done... Rita.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you Travis.

[ANTO]

Even over here we watched it on TV as it happened - so surreal - like a horrific movie but so very real.
The disbelief in the first senryu is palpable Rita, the will to survive in the second and the hope for a better future in the third make this a very powerful triptych.
Well done!
X

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Anto. That was a day that changed the world, not just the US. Surreal is the perfect word for it...

[annie lee]

A day filled with images I will never forget. My mind and heart full of contradictory and confusing emotion. The sucking vortex of loss. We will never be the same. These were well done writes.

[Rita L. Sev]

We will never be the same- so true. But we can become stronger together... Thank you, Annie.