The Turkey

Gobble...

Once upon a midnight dreary while I pondered weak and weary,

considering the morrow’s horrid chore

There were many tough decisions I thought through with great precision

Yet there were so many factors to ignore

As I stared at dying embers I was burdened by November

Oh why had I agreed to do this deed?

In all my years of living, I’d not cheffed my own Thanksgiving

and tomorrow twenty guests I had to feed

I stressed over the shopping and I started on pre-chopping

but still the bird was frozen halfway through

I’d made it my obsession to make a grand impression

though my trial mashed potatoes seemed like glue

As that poultry sat there mocking my success this iceberg blocking,

I wondered if hot gravy I should pour

I fear my effort’s naught and I’m really quite distraught ~

this turkey will have thawed out…

 nevermore.

Author's Note

Second write for The Raven contest...

Reviews

[Troy Henson]

I do enjoy how you can make light of s tressful situation:)
I must admit though I fet busy just reading this one lol....im not cooking tonight now.

Great description and imagery here Rita.

Very nice

Regards
Troy

[Rita L. Sev]

Ha! Well, I'm glad I gave you a break from cooking duties! :) My father taught me to see the lighter side of everything in life... :) Thank you, Troy!

[John Lauterbach]

After this, I think I'd rather get Chinese takeout than host my own Thanksgiving dinner. Or help someone else do it, so they take the blame if I screw up the potatoes.

I especially like the mocking poultry and the 'nevermore' at the end, bringing more of The Raven to this one.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thanks, John - this was fun to write. :) And, being vegetarian, I would much rather have broccoli and rice myself! :)

[Renée]

lol .. oh dear..I would think a vegan's nightmare Hosting a traditional Thanksgiving ! Well Done Rita !

[Rita L. Sev]

Ha! Yes, I generally do not cook for the family on such an occasion! Thanks, Renee!

[Renée]

Thank you for the laughs ! Always a pleasure ( :

[SteveB]

I enjoyed the other but this one has the Rita touch.

One tiny point? Line 4. The rhyme of "Chore" and "ignored". The "d" sound is slightly troubling. Could it be made "ignore" without the "d"?

Well done.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thanks, Steve! Argh! I always struggle with clean rhyme vs. grammatical correctness. That "chore/ignore" drove me crazy - funny that you zeroed in on that. I'm going to fix it - rhyme wins! Still not sure which to enter...

[Aethereal]

This is somewhat of a comical twist on Poe's poem. Perhaps you should have had the Raven saying "Nevermore!" in reference to the Turkey throughout this poem whereby at the end you added:

Though I thought it rather craven,
in my plight, I cooked the Raven,
Quoth the Turkey,
"Nevermore!"

[Rita L. Sev]

The rule was that, after the first line, only one other of Poe's lines could be used. I do like your comical spin here! Thanks.

[Ravyne Hawke]

LOL I love it, Rita! You did an excellent job showing both the distress and humor of the situation.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thanks, Lori! :)

[Marie]

Sillier, yes...but more realistic. It's been years since I roasted a turkey...this poem tells why...

[Rita L. Sev]

:) Yes, I generally avoid the stress of holiday cooking!

[Will]

Oh I love this. Funny, sharp, and witty. You play with Poe's words marvelously, and turn them into your own. Well done! In my opinion, you should submit this one. I think it'll stand out more.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Will - this one is certainly more "my style". LOL!

[Will]

Definitely. You have a knack for the whimsical, that's for sure.

[Lydia Shutter]

Laughing here....this is a cute write and I can relate. Nothing more difficult that cooking that Thanksgiving turkey for a huge crowd. The first time everything seems to go wrong. Quite a deviation from the original EAP write! LOL I liked it. lydi**

[Rita L. Sev]

Ha! Thank you, Lydi! I actually never have to cook Thanksgiving dinner (vegetarian - the family wouldn't dream of letting me make only veggies!) But I know that it is pretty stressful... :)

[Frieda P]

Ha, you and a turkey, who woulda thunk? Fry the dang thing, it'll be done in no time, but you might ultimately have the fire department at your door. Always a smile Rita. :-)

[Rita L. Sev]

Ha! Well, "Tofurkey" was too many syllables... Thanks, Frieda!

[Frieda P]

Rolling my eyes at you Rita, you vegans need to make up some original names of your own if you don't enjoy the damn turkey. :-P Ha, you're welcome!

[Rita L. Sev]

LOL! Actually, Tofurkey is pretty disgusting... :)

[Frieda P]

I can only imagine, to me it sounds like the name of a bad dance you'd do at a wedding when you're drunk.... Do the Tofurkey! ;-)