The Turkey

Gobble...

Once upon a midnight dreary while I pondered weak and weary,

considering the morrow’s horrid chore

There were many tough decisions I thought through with great precision

Yet there were so many factors to ignore

As I stared at dying embers I was burdened by November

Oh why had I agreed to do this deed?

In all my years of living, I’d not cheffed my own Thanksgiving

and tomorrow twenty guests I had to feed

I stressed over the shopping and I started on pre-chopping

but still the bird was frozen halfway through

I’d made it my obsession to make a grand impression

though my trial mashed potatoes seemed like glue

As that poultry sat there mocking my success this iceberg blocking,

I wondered if hot gravy I should pour

I fear my effort’s naught and I’m really quite distraught ~

this turkey will have thawed out…

 nevermore.

Author's Note

Second write for The Raven contest...

Reviews

[MomzillaNC]

Very amusing to just about anyone who's faced that FIRST turkey! LOL

[Rita L. Sev]

;) Glad this amused, M'zilla! Fortunately, I never have to cook a Thanksgiving turkey... others in my family are so much more skilled than I, and I am vegetarian anyway - I bring the roasted Brussels sprouts!

[MomzillaNC]

Oh, you can do better than roasted Brussels sprouts for Tday! Try this recipe:

To serve 8
Lightly steam about a pound of fresh green beans. Set aside.

Caramelize a small sweet onion in sesame oil. Add and sautée the green onion, mushrooms, and garlic until the moisture is cooked out. Add a bit of grated ginger. Set aside.

1 pkg extra firm tofu. Cut it into strips about 2" long and about the thickness of your pinky. On high heat, in the same skillet, sear the tofu strips just until they begin to brown (very lightly). Set aside.

While the skillet is still hot, add 1/3 cup soy sauce and 1/4 cup water to deglaze the pan. Reduce the heat, stir in 3 tablespoons peanut butter. Add back all the ingredients and mix gently until the sauce is well distributed. When everything is hot again, it's ready to serve. Garnish with slivered almonds or crushed peanuts.

[Rita L. Sev]

Ooh! Sounds good! Thanks! :)

[MomzillaNC]

YVW :D

[PearlPoet]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~clapping loud~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brilliantly clever! Cant stop smiling ~smiles~ I bet even Poe is smiling above us!!!!

Bravo dear Poetess, bravo!

[Rita L. Sev]

Haha! Well, thank you very much, PearlPoet! High praise indeed to think that even Poe might get a smile from this... :) Glad you enjoyed!

[00000000000000000000000..]

Rita that was awesome:) I loved it:)

[Rita L. Sev]

:) Thanks, Jon - this one was fun to write!

[0000000000000000000000000000]

I could tell smilessssss, I always love those feeling when writing:)

[richom]

My second review and reading. It is even more enjoyable than before. Among other things, I love the way you have altered the English language, turning "chef" into a verb.

[Rita L. Sev]

Rich, I'm glad you enjoyed this one enough to revisit it. :) This was really fun to write!

[Great Aunt Astri]

hi Rita
How often in life things like this happen! Oh the plans of mice and men!
I liked the poem. The rhythm echoes your efforts in the kitchen. I can just imagine it as a beat you were working to! I like the way you have got rhymes on the same line (assonance?) The last single word makes me think it is the frozen turkey talking. He did not want to be eaten!

[Rita L. Sev]

Ha! No, he did not! This poem explains why I do so little cooking... ;) Thank you, Great Aunt Astri!

[kublakhan27]

Oh wow, this is great stuff...extremely clever without being too clever, and the rhyme scheme is ingenious...some may interpret this as a parody, but I'd say it's a wonderful tribute...love this one :)

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, K! This started as a contest write, but I really had fun with this one!

[kublakhan27]

Not a problem :) It's nice to have fun with poetry once in a while...only once in a while though, we have a broody, indulgent reputation to protect haha ;)

[Tom]

Brilliant, Poe was one of the greatness and one of my favourite writers !

You do him a worhty justice !

[Rita L. Sev]

This is much sillier, but I do love Poe too! Thanks, Tom!

[Tom]

I've entered the contest too for a laugh, you should check out my ode to Poe, it is silly! Beware a nightly visitor, it's on my page, btw if you do a 'duck' in cricket means no score, zero !

[Rocans]

lol, I liked the ending. Quite your usual perky self again. I enjoyed this...made me laugh a bit...Damn Bird!

[Rita L. Sev]

Ha! Yes, this one is more my style. :) Thanks, Rocans!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Haha that is such a humorous take on one of my favorite poets... he was a dark writer and there is nothing darker then the prospects of family and in laws criticizing your cooking.

[Rita L. Sev]

Ha! Exactly! A fear that cannot be compared... ;) Thanks, Dale!

[zainul]

I can't stop smiling.
This is such such a funny piece.
I wonder how you could avoid cooking for holidays or festivals for so many years of your life.
Just kidding.
Enjoyed reading.

[Rita L. Sev]

Ha! Thank you, Zainul! I'm glad this made you smile! Actually, my family prefers if I don't cook, because I am vegetarian, and they are afraid they'd only get a salad! :) LOL!

[zainul]

I understand now.
In my society girls are expected to learn the art of cooking very much.
read moreI understand now.
In my society girls are expected to learn the art of cooking very much.
Otherwise they are insulted in the mother-in-law's house and also in her own family.
They despise the girl,"Oh, your mother didn't teach you to cook!"
However,the girls who are involved in acting,they may be exempted in the families but are forced to cook in the televisions, movies,dramas and societies.
You might have noticed that there are thousands of cooking stars in the media who are earning money and fame through cooking(mock cooking!).
I am afraid you will miss that opportunity if you continue to keep yourself away from the kitchen.
At least you may pretend that you know good cooking.
You may not be a professional chef but what's the problem if you become a 'performer cook'!
Nobody is going to see what is the taste of the staff cooked in the television.
Please don't take it seriously.
I just wanted to add a little more fun in this interesting conversation.
You have done a great write indeed.

[Marie]

I am very good cook myself. My roasted turkey and dressing were superb. But I reached a point in my life where I felt I simply didn't have to do that anymore.

[zainul]

Thanks for coming in the stream to place a great point.
I think you have your own choice.
read moreThanks for coming in the stream to place a great point.
I think you have your own choice.
I respect your sense of liberty.

[Rita L. Sev]

I actually cook pretty well - but my husband is a much better cook than I. Trained in the Army and took culinary classes, he is talented in the kitchen!

[zainul]

Happy to learn that you actually cook pretty well.
You are also enjoying the delicious classical dishes made by your husband.
What is the best dish he prepared so far?
Do you like to share some tips for the interested members of WC?

[Rita L. Sev]

His best dishes are Italian foods, especially soups and stews. There is a poem that I wrote which shares our recipe for Pasta e Fagioli - I'll send it to you ;)

[zainul]

Well,please send it to me asap.
Have a nice time,Rita.:)