Hymn of Sadness

for a contest... possibly

Once upon a midnight dreary while I pondered weak and weary

over scattered scrapbook memories of our past

There came uncanny singing till my head was fairly ringing,

an eerie song of sorrow unsurpassed

Brooding under clouded moon, it was in the bright of June

that for you a choir sang Amazing Grace

Bedeviled by that hymn, making all my fancies grim

for no longer will I feel your warm embrace

With your specter I am haunted; with this melody am taunted,

a cease of saccharine sweet sounds I now crave

This melancholy song that my burden does prolong

Now I hearken to the harmony of the grave

 

Author's Note

The Raven Contest: the first line must be Poe's first line. Otherwise, any form or topic.
Not sure which one I want to submit...

Reviews

[Gleb Zavlanov]

Another brilliant adaptation. I admire Poe's work and I think the way you put a twist on it is spectacular!

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Gleb. I am a huge fan of Poe.

[Glen]

This is quite moving, I like the way you've taken Poe's line and made it into your own tribute.

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Glen. This was written for a contest here - a challenge to pay proper homage to Poe!

[Antoinette Tarsitano-Mo..]

You are one of my favorite poets, my dear!!

[Rita L. Sev]

You should read the other poets here before making this declaration! :) Thanks!

[ANTO]

Amazingly Graceful Rita
I'd give it the winning rosette
X

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you very much, Anto

[Adam M. Snow]

An amazing write, I very well enjoyed. Thanks for sharing.

[Rita L. Sev]

Glad you liked this - thanks!

[Adam M. Snow]

Anytime my friend

[Sheila Kline]

You have done an excellent job with the contest using the first line of "The Raven". Your poem carries through through the theme of a midnight dreary and scrapbook memories of our past. Your rhyme scheme is consistent and well done. The phrase "Bedeviled by that hymn, making all my fancies grim" especially gets my attention!!
Good luck with the contest!!

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Sheila! Glad this got your attention - I don't do melancholy often, so I'm never sure it comes across well. Truly appreciate your words!

[Sheila Kline]

Oh yes........I do melancholy very often, and you have done an excellent job with this!!

[B-poet]

A interesting & intriguing write. It's a topic most people would love to stray from. Yet you're apart of a certain percentage of people who can deeply describe this topic with meaningful depth. Great work Rita. A creatively unique write & read. :)

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, BP - I don't go here often, but it is a part of Life, and so, a part of poetry...

[Angel]

This is amazing! If I didn't know this was Rita L. Sev, I'd swear it was Edgar Alan Poe!
Fantastic job!

[Rita L. Sev]

Ha! I don't know that Poe would like that - :) Thanks, Angel! Glad you liked this!

[Angel]

Well, if you promise not to tell him, I promise I won't either...

[Rita L. Sev]

LOl! :) . .

[Rocans]

WOW! This was amazing Rita!!! You really did the Poe(tic) spirit justice with this one. Definitely one of my favourites from you. I was drawn in by the title which delivered its promise in such sweet style. Though reminiscent of Poe, credit is due for mimicking such a complex structure and sound. Good stuff!

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, Rocans - I had a feeling you would like he theme of this one. I appreciate your read and review!

[Magnolia]

Phew... Melancholy indeed ! A brilliant poem Rita...Maggie

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you so much, Maggie! I appreciate your stopping by; glad you liked it!

[Magnolia]

You are most welcome :)