Even though you're still hashing this one out, I like the approach you have in this one. I feel as though allowing others see those skeletons allows us to have freedom, but also shows that we have come to terms with the lives we have lived. There is true strength in this idea in your piece, and it inspires me.
I like stanzas four and five because they show off that once you have come to terms with things, what others think just doesn't matter. Your secrets are out in the open and they can't create new rumors.
Overall, that last stanza is my favorite.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you - you got exactly what I was trying to say. Coming to terms with the past, free from judg.. read moreThank you - you got exactly what I was trying to say. Coming to terms with the past, free from judgment... Glad you enjoyed this...
Skeleton Canyon , a place , a Apache singed a truce, below the stronghold of Cochise, in the Chiricahua mountains,with a white man, who is now a minority.
Thought you would like knowledge, cause I like "Dancing Bones"
11 Years Ago
I do like knowledge - you inspired me to google images of Skeleton Canyon - and I appreciate your en.. read moreI do like knowledge - you inspired me to google images of Skeleton Canyon - and I appreciate your enjoying this piece! :)
"So I lead with a graceful stance
And allow my skeletons to dance"
Lovely line. Quite honestly, I loathe rhyming poetry, theirs very few rhyming themed poetry that I enjoy and I've read alot. However, I am becoming quite the fan of your writing. :D
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Well, thank you very much, Vile. I do write some free verse, but I really enjoy the challenge of sa.. read moreWell, thank you very much, Vile. I do write some free verse, but I really enjoy the challenge of saying what I want, and getting a good rhyme. Also, much of my stuff is just pure silliness... :)
11 Years Ago
Hahaha, fair enough. I prefer free verse, all of what I write you could consider it free verse I sup.. read moreHahaha, fair enough. I prefer free verse, all of what I write you could consider it free verse I suppose. Though I don't know what you'd call it honestly. But I understand the desire to want to get a good rhyme, if done right it creates a nice flow to the piece.
A bit early for Halloween, isn't it?
So, you have skeletons in your closet that like to come out and dance...hmmmm....
Mine just like to roll dust bunnies up under the furniture and chase the neighbor's cat every now and then.
At least...well, the dog swears he didn't do it...
Ha! Well, my skeletons are kind of boring compared to some I know. but they stick with me... the dog.. read moreHa! Well, my skeletons are kind of boring compared to some I know. but they stick with me... the dog is afraid of them... ;)
11 Years Ago
Boring skeletons...LOL
I have to admit...a couple of mine are...well...colorful. But then tha.. read moreBoring skeletons...LOL
I have to admit...a couple of mine are...well...colorful. But then that just makes for prettier dust bunnies.
skeletons in the closet...for most of us, not a big deal...and we are pretty open about those bones hanging there...famous people always worry about someone opening that closet...i say...just admit it all now, open the door, let the skeletons pop out...then we can move on.
i love the title...thought of stephen king..."bag of bones"
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you, Jacob. Yes, the skeletons are part of us, and hiding them only intensifies the trouble la.. read moreThank you, Jacob. Yes, the skeletons are part of us, and hiding them only intensifies the trouble later on (hear that, Paula Deen?) ;)
Stephen King... just finished his book 11/22/63...
I once said to my (at the time) closeted gay friend "F**k the closet man! Let it all hang out!" I guess that same sentiment works here, too. Either way, our secrets and torments will attempt to bring us down, so we might as well keep em out in the open. Great write, Rita, with a different rhyme scheme than usual. I liked it.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you, Will - you got what I was going for here!
Ha! this comes at a perfect time as someone has made noises about outing our skeletons recently. i could only laugh because as you've said so eloquently here "so i lead with a graceful stance/ and allow my skeletons to dance". we've never hidden our mistakes and blunders, though some are spectacularly embarrassing. we don't like closed doors in this house and the closets are no exception. i'm glad to see we aren't the only ones with this "open door" policy and how artfully you've penned it. the flow is whimsical enough to see the fun you're having with those dusty ol' bones. i enjoyed it immensely!
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you, Dahlia - I am so glad that you connected with this piece! This is the second version, a .. read moreThank you, Dahlia - I am so glad that you connected with this piece! This is the second version, a bit more streamlined. :)
There's a delicious idea behind this poem. Since you're still hashing this one out, I won't give you a fully inspired poem. I'll just give you the following couplet as a gift to keep as your own since I only changed some words to make both lines conform to /0/0/0/ syllable meter. The first two lines sing now:
Bones within my closet dance
partnered by wise circumstance.
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE "FRIENDING" ME:
I am happy to be sharing my poems (and occasional stories) and thrilled to be reading fellow authors.
About Friend Requests - It is wise to READ some of .. more..