i am an only child as well and how i always wanted a big brother..lol..this is a lovely tribute to your brother Rita..
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you, Stella! As a child, he drove me crazy, but my life is enriched because of him (and my sis.. read moreThank you, Stella! As a child, he drove me crazy, but my life is enriched because of him (and my sister, too...)
Being an only child I lacked the up close tormenter but I have a cousin who is 6 years older and he served and serves the role. The last stanza described our relationship perfectly. Very nicely done Rita.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
I used to wonder what it would be like to be an only child. I'm glad I never knew... Thanks, Steve!.. read moreI used to wonder what it would be like to be an only child. I'm glad I never knew... Thanks, Steve!
Hi Rita. This is a lovely poem and tribute to your brother. Heartfelt. Your love for him shines through in this piece. Very good imagery and descriptives. You paint a delightful picture of your relationship, your closeness that any reader can appreciate. Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm. Good rhyme and rhyme scheme. Every second/fourth line in each stanza is perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece. Lovely depth of feeling. Good word choice. Good closing verse. Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on!
It's lovely, I love what you when describing, you pare words with negative connotations but add a tone of love never hate. It's amazing, "a master-class tormentor" but not a hint of hate or anger or resent, that's very powerful!
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much - yes, the teases and torments of a big brother are recalled with affection. And .. read moreThank you so much - yes, the teases and torments of a big brother are recalled with affection. And how appropriate that you are the first here to review, as my brother's name is also Dan... :)
11 Years Ago
haha, cool. but seriously, you can convey so much through tone, you don't rely on heavy words or sem.. read morehaha, cool. but seriously, you can convey so much through tone, you don't rely on heavy words or semi-lucid metaphors it's incredible.
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I am happy to be sharing my poems (and occasional stories) and thrilled to be reading fellow authors.
About Friend Requests - It is wise to READ some of .. more..