Hi Rita. A creative and fun read. I love your sense of humor. You nailed how we feel like this every time Monday rolls around. Your words brightened my day at work when I read it this morning. It brought a smile to my face. Thanks so much. Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you, Shelley! It was a rainy Monday around here, so "grey" was my inspiration - but I am so g.. read moreThank you, Shelley! It was a rainy Monday around here, so "grey" was my inspiration - but I am so glad it brightened your day! :)
Hi Rita. A creative and fun read. I love your sense of humor. You nailed how we feel like this every time Monday rolls around. Your words brightened my day at work when I read it this morning. It brought a smile to my face. Thanks so much. Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you, Shelley! It was a rainy Monday around here, so "grey" was my inspiration - but I am so g.. read moreThank you, Shelley! It was a rainy Monday around here, so "grey" was my inspiration - but I am so glad it brightened your day! :)
Poor Monday. :(
'Tis a pity thou art shunned.
But if it be of comfort, i say...
I simply LOVE thee on vacations! ^_^
For thou mayest stand on a par with Friday
once our bustlings lie forgotten.
Thank you for this Rita...i'm sure Monday is no longer mad at us...for now. ;) hehe
I think the last line should be Her tears rise up knee deep, though..it rolls a bit better...Maybe just ME though.....Enjoyed it
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Ah! THANK YOU! That line was driving me crazy! Revised it a bunch - yours is the solution. Thanks .. read moreAh! THANK YOU! That line was driving me crazy! Revised it a bunch - yours is the solution. Thanks again!
there have been a slew of songs written about monday, too many to count on both hands, but this is the first poem i have seen on the subject. very original and well done!
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you, Quin! Rained all day, this Monday - that's insult to injury!
11 Years Ago
ah...that would be The Carpenters version...."rainy days and Mondays" i could go on, but i would .. read moreah...that would be The Carpenters version...."rainy days and Mondays" i could go on, but i would bore you to tears.
written by Prince for the Bangles....or "monday, monday" mamas and papas.....or come monday, jimmy b.. read morewritten by Prince for the Bangles....or "monday, monday" mamas and papas.....or come monday, jimmy buffett, or i dont like mondays, boomtown rats and on and on......
Monday; the first work day where we can't play but if I may say you create great poems like the great art of clay and your talent is a mainstay...Bravo...:)
I enjoyed this poem very much with its rhyme and quatrain structure. It inspire me to quickly write this tiny mono-rhyme gift poem for you which you may keep as your own since I used your ideas in this poem to such a degree: It's in /0/0/0/ seven syllable meter:
Monday
Monday's such a somber bloke
in his monochromic cloak.
He won't laugh, nor will he joke.
He's the dread of working folk.
Take care that you never choke
on his early morning yoke
when he goads you with a poke
unless his alarm clock's broke.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
I like the "monochromatic cloak" - good image. Thanks, Aethereal!
11 Years Ago
All I did was substitute another word for gray in your fourth line. To form a rhyme, I substituted t.. read moreAll I did was substitute another word for gray in your fourth line. To form a rhyme, I substituted the word cloak implied within that line. I would never have thought of it without first reading your poem. These were just the words that I needed to get a /0/0/0/ syllable metered line. The structure forced the best words into place. All I needed to do was run the maze structure that I had created for myself like a smart little mouse.
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE "FRIENDING" ME:
I am happy to be sharing my poems (and occasional stories) and thrilled to be reading fellow authors.
About Friend Requests - It is wise to READ some of .. more..