The formatting works well here, guiding the reader directly into the tone of the poem. It's not an easy feat, I have a tough time doing so. But here it's natural, and that's when I know I've gotten close too, when after reciting it out loud the tone and the inflection of the voice fits the structure of the written poem. Some writers (and I envy them) tame their writing by using a consistent formula, an organized and proven format: couplets, 3 line stanza's etc. One writer down here, the Kimmer, has it down to a science she's a stickler for syllable count.. I myself require more freedom, but when something doesn't fall into place, sounds off, I'll do a ten count... But hell I'm digressing like crazy here I like what you've done, here, Rita. And the message put forth in this well written piece is full of insight/ and wisdom.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you, Diego. I struggle with finding the right format, and go to a standard AB/CB 4 line stanza.. read moreThank you, Diego. I struggle with finding the right format, and go to a standard AB/CB 4 line stanza often. I can get a bit OCD about flow and syllable count - but sometimes I need that freedom you speak of, and this kind of poem happens. And yes, I recite out loud, too. Glad you got the message!
11 Years Ago
You guys with your forms and formats, your syllable counts and cadences...you make me NUTS!!!! All .. read moreYou guys with your forms and formats, your syllable counts and cadences...you make me NUTS!!!! All I do is write...I very rarely give a thought to such things as form or stuff like that. I guess I must be doing it wrong...
You have a well developed structure, rhyme, and message in this poem. I’m always experimenting with different poetic structures. Perhaps I’ll try this one in the near future. I’ll try a verse that's now at the top of my head which you may keep as a gift:
I hear Nature's song
leaves
birds
bees
breeze
chipmunks in the maple trees.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you! Nice nature verse!
11 Years Ago
Thanks you for sharing your beautiful poems with me.
This was great Rita. I really enjoyed the format of this poem and the message was perfect. I loved this, thank you for sharing.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thanks, Jack. Playing with format, thought this would work with this piece. Appreciate your kind com.. read moreThanks, Jack. Playing with format, thought this would work with this piece. Appreciate your kind comments!
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE "FRIENDING" ME:
I am happy to be sharing my poems (and occasional stories) and thrilled to be reading fellow authors.
About Friend Requests - It is wise to READ some of .. more..