As Smart As...

But at least his Mommy loves him...

Little Billy Honeykins

No thoughts disturbed his sleep

In fact, no thoughts disturbed his days;

His well just wasn’t deep

 

His mind, as agile as a slug,

As sharp as a rusty spoon,

As quick as a pregnant tortoise,

As bright as October’s new moon

 

His brains, rather than in his skull

Were in an undisclosed location

Quite the quandary, since Billy’d had

A standard education.

 

Author's Note

I know this kid...

Reviews

[John Lauterbach]

Sounds like a bunch of my friends.

The second stanza is my favorite, especially the agile slug. I've never heard anything about the moon in October being dull. The context works - don't change it but, what makes it do that?

I've got nothing truly constructive, I think it's great!

[Rita L. Sev]

Thank you, John! About that moon - a "new moon" in any month is not visible at all - therefore, not bright. October just sounded right in the line... ;)

[John Lauterbach]

Ah! That makes a lot more sense - I didn't know that phase was called 'new.' I'm being a Billy!

[Rita L. Sev]

Ha! That was your "something new" to learn for the day!

[SteveB]

Very well done with the zionger at the endwhich turns this from a lovely well constructed bit of doggerel to biting social comentary.

[Rita L. Sev]

A sad reality in some cases... Thanks, Steve!

[Dr. Wood ?]

I may have told you that i worked as a teacher assistant for a year...I came across a few Billy types...

[Rita L. Sev]

I'm sure you did... :)

[s y e]

I used to want to be a teacher but I couldn't be a teacher now. So many kids just don't listen and it would be so hard, I mean, kids im my school ~ who are 15 and 16 ~ talk back to the teachers and give them crap.

I liked how you added, at least his mummy loved him. :) Lovely write, Rita!

~ Noodle.

[Rita L. Sev]

There are the kids who are disrespectful, and then there are the Billys - who are often nice kids. I love the challenges of a class! Thanks, Noodle!

[s y e]

Yeah, there are some nice kiddies. :)

Pleasure!

[Frieda P]

I know Billy, a few of them over the years, sad but true....ha and love the pregnant tortoise! Love how you added at least his mommy loves him, we love em no matter what, yep!

[Rita L. Sev]

They are often lovable kids... Thanks, Frieda!

[Angi]

What an exhasperation! I could never, ever teach. You are not allowed to bonk heads, are you?! I don't know how you teachers do it, Rita. Angi~

[Rita L. Sev]

No, no head bonking allowed. We have meetings about that... I guess I just love a challenge! Thanks, Angie!

[Angi]

Ha! I would have been sent to the office, then. Multiple times. 'We have meetings about that..' Made me laugh!

[Rita L. Sev]

I used to have a jar that said "Ashes of Problem Students" ... I kept a few paper clips in it, and every once in a while I would give it a shake...

[Angi]

Ha! That is so funny. Strike the fear!

[Angel]

Ahh, but are Billy's problems the result of a lack in Billy...or in his "standard education"??
Some teachers are, of course, exceptional...like our own Rita...
But, as every mother knows, there is the other kind...

[Rita L. Sev]

Could be either, Angel - I have been teaching long enough to know that not every child is a genius, despite what Mommy thinks... but Billy is likely a very sweet kid, so he'll be just fine! Thanks!

[Angel]

True, Mommy doesn't always see her little prodigy's faults...
Still, you have to admit, our educational system does leave much to be desired.
There aren't many like you, my friend.

[Rita L. Sev]

I appreciate that, Angel!

[Jack...]

Finally, someone wrote a poem about me.

Very funny Rita, but coming from a teacher, a little sad.

[Rita L. Sev]

Yes, sad, but true. Thanks, Jack

[Jack...]

Actually Rita, I can assure you my 8th grade teacher and my senoir high school teachers would have written something similar about me. You gotta watch those weird ones who live in their own world, they just might surprise you.

[Rita L. Sev]

Oh, the odd ones are not the "Billys" - I LOVE the quirky, own-world kids. Their writing is usually the best! No, this is the kid who spells his name with a "5" and, when directions say to use the word bank, literally writes the word - 'bank'.

[Jack...]

Ok, still me...got anymore? :)

[Rita L. Sev]

Haha! Oh, if you only knew... :)

[lolawants]

sounds like a kid in my class

[Rita L. Sev]

:) I think every class has this kid...

[quinfinn]

i have known this kid all my life...trouble is , these kids grow up and take on the rigors and responsibilities of adulthood, making life miserable and somewhat amusing for those of us who actually did become adults. this is a delight to read and a wonderful euphemism for many others...."not the sharpest tool in the shed", "not playing with a full deck", rowing with one oar" , "a couple cans short of a sixpack" and on and on...i loved this write!

[Rita L. Sev]

Thanks, Quin! I purposefully stayed away from those classics (not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree...). I teach many wonderful, creative, intelligent kids. However, some are just... simpletons. I teach this kid every year.

[quinfinn]

oof! must be sadly disappointing to witness.

[Rita L. Sev]

Well, after so many years, I guess I am still hopeful that the hard working kids will make it all worth it. They do.