A Writer's Word

The sun peeks over the mountains,
And touches the gloomy sky,
It spreads its ray of golden joy,
And awakes each sleeping eye.

Turning the page of a battered book,
To one still blank and new,
A writer's muse is tingling,
Fill that page with you.

Each word is filled with meaning,
It's speaker's soul defined,
It holds the key to a writer's heart,
And speaks a writer's mind.

Author's Note

I'm not that happy with this. Work in progress.

Reviews

[DIANA WILBANKS]

I really liked it and think it's a nice piece!it is an uplifting write for sure...God Bless,,Diana

[Alicia Isabella Lane]

"It's speaker's soul defined,
It holds the key to a writer's heart,
And speaks a writer's mind."

It does indeed, I absolutely loved those lines. Such a beautiful write!!! Very nicely done!

[wizthom]

how poetic rarely do i read apoem that is short and finished u need say no more

[Michael]

I like the flow you have set down. I do wonder about the meter, at first I thought you might be after a iambic 4/3 but after the first stanza it seems more rhymed free verse with a simple aBcB scheme. It would be easy to pull into more metered work, for example by changing the fist line to something like "awakes the sleeping eye" the whole of the stanza falls into format.

It all depends on what you are after, it is really a nice poem as it is but I often change things to make a format work so I do understand.

[Antonio Valentino]

Rita, I don't know whether or not it's a compliment, but I could have written this poem.
It's just my style. You improve with each and every thing you write, and i am so proud of you!

You're the words on my page.

Antonio

[Carl Fraser]

Dont be so hard on yourself Rita, its just fine and I look forward to reading it when finished, I like the subject and the message behind it. I hope you feel better soon and aren't so down..........Chin up and may god look on you with a nod and a wink ( - ; Blessings, Carl

you can always watch Never Ending story (part 1) and perhaps gain some inspiration on imagery. I can see the direction of your poem able to go to that direction.

[Buddy]

Reading the effort is easy and smooth, as the rhyming is great. That said, I think that the first stanza should more reflect the subject of the 2nd and 3rd with a more clear tie-in. I love the first stanza and as I read it I wanted to jump forward to read more about the subject matter of that stanza and then in the 2nd, , it seemed to jump and disconnect from the 1st. I even love the 3rd stanza as it is so true for all of us and you have penned it so well. In short ,the 2nd and 3rd tie well together but neither show a connection with the 1st. You are a pretty good rhymer, Don.

[Kevin Doran]

What a wonderful subject matter, the writer and our muses. I can't make too many suggestions as I am unsure how to make the piece better but I do agree with the comment below me, the middle stanza is a wonderful idea but could perhaps be sculpted a little smoother. Brilliant start though, a wonderful draft of future brilliance.

[Lily1111]

I think this is a lovely poem. I like the feeling conveyed. I wouldn't touch the first or last stanza and would leave them as is. I know your incredible talent so it is just a matter of time until the right words come to you. Since I have never learned anything by someone saying how wonderful I am, I will be honest with you.

The middle stanza

It turns the page of a battered book,
To one still blank and new,
A writer's muse is tingling,
Fill that page with you.

I like what you are saying here, but I agree with you that it is not quite there yet. I am not sure what to suggest. Perhaps instead of "It turns the page", simplify it to "Turning the page of a battered book"
(I have recently been encouraged to use "word economy"). Keep playing around with the last line, the perfect words will come to you.