April Showers

                “I love you, Sam.” He smiled and whispered to me. He was laying on the old, beat up bed next to me, his hand entwined with mine. I smiled and lifted my head from his chest, looking into his grey, stormy eyes. They are like a spring storm, I thought.

                “I love you too, James.” I kissed his chin softly, his stubble tickling my lips even though he had just shaved yesterday. I felt him smile even more under my lips before I laid my head back down on his chest, listening to his strong, steady heartbeat.

                “I love you more...” I heard him whisper even quieter as he stroked my black hair softly. Our room was dark and cold, but the cold was a comforting cold. A cold that gives me a reason to be so close to him. I smiled faintly, listening to his heartbeat and the claps of thunder outside. The rain was the reason for the dark and cold, but I didn’t mind, we didn’t mind. April showers bring May flowers, or so they say.

                I closed my eyes as the thunder got louder and even closer to our house. I released his hand as I moved my head closer to his heart, finding comfort in the sound. I remember him telling me that as long as I could hear his heartbeat, it would beat for me.

                There was another loud crash of thunder, so loud it caused me to jolt upright in bed. “James!” I cried out, searching for him. The spot next to me was cold, the covers had been pushed back several hours ago. I know he didn't wake me because the rain helps keep the nightmares away. I swung my bare legs and feet over the edge of the bed, my toes just barely touching the cold wood floor. Our room was still dark and cold, just like in my dream.

                 I turned on the lamp on my bedside table, the light illuminating my frizzy black hair against the wall and James’s old band tee that only came down to the middle of my thighs. I checked my phone for the date. April 7th, my birthday. So where is James?

                 I got up and wandered out of our room, rubbing my eyes. I did not realize I was on the couch in the living room until I blinked and was staring out the window at the storm outside. I knew James had been stressed and depressed lately and that sometimes made him do stupid things, but I did not think that he would do anything today of all days. I bit my lip to keep it from quivering.

                “Where are you James…?” I whimpered out the window. Even if he had come home I would not be able to see, the rain was coming down in thick, blinding sheets. “Does your heart not beat for me anymore?” I spoke to the cold air that was embracing my body. I felt like there was a hole that could not be filled in my heart.

                 I got up and walked to the kitchen, going over to the coffee pot and opening the cabinet right over it. I pulled out a mug and poured a glass of warm, black coffee, smiling. At least he remembered that I like coffee when I wake up. I walked back to the table, glancing at the calendar on the fridge, nearly dropping my mug of hot coffee.

                “Oh no, his mom’s funeral. I forgot about that…” I bit my lip, setting my mug on the table, and ran to our room. I found a pair of jeans, I do not know if they were his or mine, and put them on. The funeral was not for another week but James had been taking his mother’s death hard. I ran out of our room and grabbed my keys from the table, not even bothering with shoes.

                I threw the door open and ran out into the rain, my feet falling in puddles, soaking my jeans almost instantly. Biting my lip and shaking, I unlocked the door to my truck, getting in and shutting the door. Cursing under my breath when the key would not slip into the ignition, sighing in relief when it did and I was able to turn my truck on.

                “Don’t do anything stupid James…” I mumbled, throwing the truck into drive. I pulled out of the driveway and drove down the road, knowing exactly where to go, the bridge. I hated that I had to drive slow, my tears and the sheets of rain obscuring my vision. I had not even noticed I was crying until now.

                As I neared the bridge I squinted through the rain, seeing a black figure standing by the rail. I quickly parked the truck and turned it off, pushing the door open desperately and jumping out. I did not bother with closing the door or taking the keys out of the ignition.

                “James!” I cried running to the figure that was hopefully James. It must be him because he turned. I slowed down as I neared him, nearly tripping on my soaked jeans, they were James because they were too long. He was soaked, his brown hair plastered to his head from the rain, his eyes matching the sky. He was not shaking from being soaked to the bone unlike me. I was sobbing and he was not.

                “James, don’t do anything stupid please! Just talk to me, you know I am here for you. I always have and always will. Just please don’t do anything!” I cried, my voice cracking and giving away that I was crying. I looked at him through my tears and the rain.

                “Sam?” He looked at me, looking surprised. I nodded, shaking still. He shook his head slowly and pulled me tight to him, his strong hands holding my head to his soaked chest. He stroked my hair, just like in my dream and laughed a little. I frowned and pulled back, confused as to why he was laughing.

                “Why are you laughing? You scared me to death!” I started crying again and hugged him tight, not wanting to let him go in case he did something.

                “I’m not going to do anything stupid, I was just thinking…” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and pulled away slightly. “But now that you are here…” I watched him as he reached into his pocket and get down on one knee, my tears becoming tears of joy.

                “Sam, will you marry me?” He grinned up at me, holding a box with a ring in his hand. I nodded and hugged him tight again, not caring that the ring was beautiful and he was perfect, just caring that I loved him.

                “Yes! Yes, I will marry you!” I smiled and kissed him deeply, loving how he kissed me back and pulled me tight to him.

                He smiled and pulled back, looking at me. “Happy birthday, Sam.” I laughed and shook my head, thinking it hardly mattered as he picked me up and spun me around in the chilly, spring rain.