My Nightmare, My Reality

This was more of a rant that i made when I was really angry at this girl...

 

I hate the endless pit I’ve dug myself in,

To love someone so dearly was my first mistake.

To Hate the way I can love someone was my second,

When you don’t, or won’t ever, love me in return.

 

You’ve helped me through the hardest parts,

Yet, somehow you were often the cause,

You were the friend whose shoulders would catch my tears,

But sometimes ‘friends’ just wasn’t enough.

 

You were the shining star in the storm that is my life,

You were the helping hand that would catch me every time,

Sometimes, I think, I wouldn’t have made it without you,

But now I know, that maybe I would’ve been better off.

 

Emotions are overrated, I hate them, I hate love,

The endless pain just isn’t worth it, the fight just seems so void,

I can’t stand being without you, I can’t stand being with you,

Confusion is only the beginning, the middle, but not the end.

 

You had me lost, when you came looking for me,

I’d never had a true friend before.

Why I can’t accept that you’re just a friend,

Is another question of millions that is lost in my mind.

 

When lightning strikes me in this forsaken storm,

I’d turn and find you already there, prepared to save me,

You may be a true friend, but sometimes you can be so harsh,

To know how I feel, in every way, then to act the way you do…

 

You saved my life, but then you stabbed my heart,

You were always there, even when you shouldn’t…

My problems are my own, my burdens, my issues,

They shouldn’t be yours, even when you’re one.

 

I just hate the way that you don’t need me,

I hate the way you have so many shoulders to cry on,

All I ever had was you, and maybe I need to find someone else,

You were only there, because I was a shoulder for you.

 

Had I chosen not to show, had I chosen not to listen,

My life would be a different tale, if I still had life in me…

I told you my problems to make yours look good,

But then I became dependent on you…then I liked you…

 

If I could alter the past, I might change one thing,

I would still listen to your problems, help pull you through,

But I wouldn’t have shared mine, they destroyed everything…

I can see why you never liked me, I can see it all now…

 

I wish I’d seen me from another perspective earlier,

I would’ve realised that it isn’t you that has the problem,

You are perfectly ready for a relationship,

You’re just not ready for one with me.

 

I wish I’d realised that sooner, then this wouldn’t be a problem,

I know I have my issues, and I wish they were just mine,

I wish I didn’t tell you them, I wish you didn’t listen…

My emotions have never really mattered…

 

I wish I had looked in the mirror and seen the true me,

The annoying, young, immature guy that’s had a crap life,

I wanted a savior, and I found your shoulder,

Had I foreseen it, I would never talked to you…

Only listened…

Author's Note

Sorry if there's any grammatical errors, etc.
and sorry if it doesn't make sense. This was me leashing out because i'd been hurt...by this girl that was my best friend...
not a heaps close friend, but the best friend I had...and...she, sorta betrayed me, in a way...
that's the simple way of putting it, anyways.

Reviews

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Such a creative and emotional rant. Definitely well-thoughtout for a rant anyways.

As for content, yikes! I'm sure a lot of us have had those feelings before. But what can you do, but write a nice, healthy rant? Don't worry about it making sense... it's a rant; rants usually don't make sense anyways, but your poem did make a lot sense due to so many thoughts you present to the reader. Gives us an authentic tone, you know?

Sorry this had to happen, but I'll admit to you that this poem is gold.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood