Of blowtorches and Withered Delilahs

What the hell was I thinking!?

"Hey... umm, is something wrong?", Judy asked, concerned.

"Nah, it's nothing. It's just my face.", I replied, eyes fixated on her; no, actually eyes piercing through her hoping she'd just die.

Yeah right. Nothing was wrong. If nothing consisted of two twats making me walk all evening to ridiculous places and not getting a single goddamn blowtorch, that is.

"Oh well", Judy heaved a sigh of relief, "That pretty face of yours would look a hundred times better with a smile, you know."

'And you'd look two hundred times better in a grave,' thought I; but such concern of hers could never go unreciprocated; hence I give her my most beautifully vicious smile that would put Willem Dafoe's to shame.

"Hmph, never mind," she made a pout and finally left me alone.

Jade came in with snacks. "Yo Judy, you're off to somewhere?"

"Yeah actually," Judy said, putting on a printed scarf (goddamnit!!), "I've got this photo shoot for a new architechtural company a friend of mine is starting."

"Woah you got some nice friends I see."

"yeah", Judy smiled brilliantly; "I'll get going now. Bye!"

"Yeah, take care", Jade placed the snacks on the table.

'Good riddance', thought I. I necessarily don't like getting involved in small talk, and now that Dance with Death was playing on my phone with that amazing solo due in fifteen seconds; I just wished I could staple their lips together.

"Hey," Jade handed out the snacks to me. Wow, Judy made her forget some basic ground rules. First, you are not allowed under any circumstances to call my name or indulge me in any sort of human interaction when Iron Maiden's playing. And when it's Dance of Death, you better pretend dead. Second, well, there's no second actually, not that I can think of.

Anyway, I had to pause the song IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SOLO GODDAMNIT to glare at her. She didn't seem to care much,though.

"Whatcha doin'?"

This new way of talking was indeed Judy-inspired. My beloved roommate was now talking like Jason Derulo.

"Wondering why you are talking to me" , now of all times.

"C'mon now! Cheer up, will ya? Judy's a fine girl. You're overthinking."

I wondered which part of having my life tossed around in front of my eyes seemed 'fine' to her; but I threw a mundane 'Yeah right.' in her direction. Oh! 'Having my life tossed" is me going a bit too far you say? You know nothing! I had to had my eyebrows plucked, get dresses I'd naturally not wear even if they came for free because Judy was now our official style manager, got all my gay porn hidden by Jade because they were 'lewd' (heaven knows why), and had my favorite Slash poster removed from the wall because apparently it 'scared' Judy. Scared? I mentally murdered you a thousand times already, twat! And for heaven's sake she put some delusional 'self-contentment' magazines right on top of my physics textbooks and I was pissed off for real.

Jade, my beloved roommate, was behaving funny, talking funny, eating funny, walking funny; as though now 'fun' had to be an integral part of every little activity from pissing in the morning to screaming sexual innuendos at night. (She never did the last thing to be honest, it was just me occasionally.Yet I don't want to add the fun element there, for real.)

All these things inside my head Jade seemed to read well. She smiled at me like Mother Teresa would, and said ,"Let's go get some pizza."

One thing cool about Jade was how she knew there was no problem on earth pizza couldn't solve, so we head for the canteen.

We were halfway down the road to the canteen when the big mistake of my life happened.

Fifteen seconds later, I would hear some commotion.

Thirty-five seconds later, an amazing guitar riff would be heard.

Seventy-five seconds later, a guy would sing 'You are the clown for what you are....'

Eighty seconds later, I'd leave Jade behind and run in the direction of the music.

What went down was this: some local band had decided to hold up a concert in the vicinity of St. Langdon's. And as blissfully life-enriching experiences that St. Langdon's has to provide; it's walls could be ascended by a two year old and were mostly broken; which often resulted in hooligans and crack-dealers entering the campus and trampling all over it like it was their little sister's tiara they had to break because she told mommy that they were jerking off. It often instilled in our fragile hearts the philosophy of flight, fight or freeze; which was so imperative for survival in the wars to come (probably) or in Brazilian forests where we'd go camping (probably). Sound-resistance? Quit kidding me! You expect it to cage up it's little birds after preparing them for a nuclear holocaust?

Anyway, this band decided to perform 'Withered Delilah', which was one of my favorite songs; and the guitarist was nailing that first riff like a piece of cake. Not to mention the vocalist, who'd impersonate Myles Kennedy's high-pitched notes with absolute perfection. So, I just had to forget pizzas, best friends, good roommates, bad roommates all alike and run to where the band was playing. It was just next to St. Langdon's open street, and I made it there by the second verse. Well climbing up St. Langdon's walls was no Herculean task, though I did sprain my ankle.

It was no 'concert' actually. There were fewer than twenty people gathered, but all of them seemed to be having a great time. There was no stage; the band was performing on some truck-like vehicle.I didn't care enough to look around and went right up to the front and started singing along. I was grooving so hard the vocalist actually lowered down to me and I harmonized along with him 'cause there's always somebody else to replace you when you are gone!' Then came the mesmerizing solo. All this time I didn't bother to even look up on the band members but now I was forced to. This guy was so damn good I could hardly believe it was the almighty Slash's solo he was nailing. By the time the solo ended, I was pulled up on the truck; and I collabed with the vocalist as though we've known each other for ages. The song ended and all the people applauded their guts out. I saw the guy with the guitar walking upto me but all of a sudden I was dragged off the truck very hard. I almost tripped as Jade ran me back to college.

Only after we entered the college did she stop for a breath. I caught up with mine too; I was dazed by now, what the actual f**k?

Before I could say anything she howled at me, "Don't leave me behind like that!"

"Hey now! Is that why you dragged me through hell?"

"No, damn you!", she panted, "The cops... the cops were there. If I hadn't pulled you down they could have taken you for a band member."

"What of that?"

"You're thicker than Judy it seems", she glared."You cannot just put up a concert anywhere you like!"

Ah now I get it. The cops had a problem with good music.

Anyway, that scene of my life seemed over to me until I realized that now Jade knew I could sing. But it didn't coax out much reaction from her except for a 'You were amazing out there'; and I was just thankful she didn't bug me any further, nor spoke a word of it to Judy. But my worries were not over just yet. Jade behaved too normal for a situation like this. Did she know something she would be better off not knowing? There were practically a hundred things in  my head then, and I almost forgot of the band.

Oh! 'Biggest mistake of my life' is me going a bit too far again? Guess what? You'll know soon enough.

Author's Note

Phew! Don't even know where this thing's going.