A twat and some devils

A Chapter by Rimpi Saikia

"I'm forced out of my room"

All those times when I'm not studying or watching 2-D gay porn or stalking rock stars or ruining people's lives; I would be sleeping my lazy a*s out or just crawl around in my room. Only under very necessary circumstances do I ever leave my room, because that course of action was bound to be preceded by a phase of getting ready, washing and brushing hair and stuff like that which involved moving. If not for my undeniable attraction for my super 'second best in the world' college, I'd have been practically bed-ridden on account of my 'great wall of sloth' disease. But college was never a problem; I could go on without brushing my hair for three days straight and still manage to stand out the 'cutest'.

Thus, when this over-enthusiastic, over-stylish, over-talkative, over-sensitive, over-dramatic, over-friendly, over-outgoing, over- "Goddamnit why am I even here!", over- "s**t this place sucks!", over- "How do you live like that!", over- "Holy s**t you need to get laid!" 'sister' of Jade's barged into my life just like extra-hot chicks barging into an average male main character's life in an ecchi-harem anime obsessing over his tiny dick; my life was practically tossed over the edge.

Judy O'Conner was someone you guys refer to as an 'adorable mess'; which I very affectionately call a 'twat'. Furthermore, she was in St. Langdon's to study geology; and apparently that subject offered you enough free time to be a 'freelance model'. Although I wouldn't really compliment someone on her fashion sense who's wearing stockings with boots, but eh. that just might be me. Anyway, the first thing she blurted out in my direction went something like this: "Oh my God! You're so cute and petite! I bet you are a anime cosplayer!"

No, tweetie. I'm an astrophysicist in the making.

I benevolently smiled at her direction and said I could bet she was a twat. But apparently she took more than a minute to process an insult so the effect was nullified.

Jade and Judy were getting along like fellow antibodies while I wished I was born a cross between amoeba and plasmodium. Apparently, Jade wanted to be a fashion designer ever since she was a sperm and I just give her the 'Who on earth are you?' look. Not to mention my dark, sinister paradise of a room which stank of perversion was now well lit and had stuffs I'd puke on like Victoria's secret posters, cuddly bears, awful giggles and yeah, a twat.

Before I even realized what unearthly curses had befallen me, Judy practically dragged me into her cuddly abyss and Jade, who very astonishingly behaved like my mother all of a sudden, went on to wash my hair; all the while Judy bickering about how small the room was and how beautiful girls like ourselves deserved better. Ah! The audacity of this child to question St. Langdon's judgement on us! I sighed; I knew I had little choice so I practiced pretending dead; none of them cared though. I was dragged, pulled, divested of my dear pajamas which were replaced with pull up skirts and stockings. Judy handed me a pair of boots, which definitely contradicts my own 'fashion' statement of 'either stockings, or boots; wear them both you're a goon'; so I explained to her a thing or two about my unreasonable choices and just told her to put on a printed scarf rather than a black one with her black dress.

Yes. I did just that.

Judy O'Conner's eyes sparkled in a way which made me having doubts on her sexuality. No offence intended but the prospect of girl-on-girl love little interested me, which might seem hypocritical from someone whose sexual preference is having orgasms while watching guys sticking iron rods up each other's asses. Rest assured, I was far from homophobic; and wouldn't even mind a girlfriend, but it's never going to be Judy.

Heck.

Anyway, I'd later know that no more insults in her direction were going to work; Judy was totally attached to me.

"Hell yeah! We are now officially the JJN girls!"

Judy shouted in excitement and I was smart enough to know JJN stood for our initials; though it sounded like an under-nutritioned poverty-stricken counterpart of the Powerpuff girls.

Jade smiled,"JJN? Sounds lame if you ask me."

"Doesn't matter! It perfectly defines us! Let the world know who's going to rock their guts!", Judy made the horns with her fingers.

"What does JJN do?", I asked. I was serious.

"heh?"

"I mean do we protect the people from aliens? Or we are some sort of secret agency", I whispered to Judy, this was a serious matter after all.

"Well... err...", she nervously grinned and looked at Jade.

I suddenly knew. "Ah I know now. We're sick sadists who torture people with blowtorches!" Of course! That was a decent prospect. Suddenly Judy seemed not half as bad. I'm even okay with that 'talk about lame' sort of a name.

Judy muttered. "I...I thought we would just... hit the bar and-"

"You decide.", Jade cut her short and told me. "Of course I'm going for blowtorching!"

I was disappointed. Jade should know better than that!

Judy stared at me while Jade laughed. "Alright. It's settled then. JJN girls ruin people's buttholes. But there's this condition, Niara. You are going out with us tonight." Jade whispered to me for effect and I loved it. "Out of this room."

"Yeah I got that.", I pretended being annoyed though I was not anyway. "Besides, I need to get my blowtorches."

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