Black Hole

I read poems

that compare women

to exploding stars

or glittering galaxies,

but I only feel like a black hole.

No one wants 

an empty shell

of a woman 

that destroys everything 

around her. 

Author's Note

I can't decide if I should write more or keep it where it is?

Reviews

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

this one punched me right in the feels. i am not a woman but i had a mother once and relate her to this small piece of important poetry. it reveals a lot of vulnerability and i applaud it's revealing nature. great job.

[V]

I think this works well as a short poem to answer your question in the author's note. Self-reflection even when it turns out to be rather negative or dark is necessary. Sometimes there's this void left in yourself which makes you feel like a bundle of neutrality and nothingness yet as long as you are able to express yourself (which you did), I doubt you or oneself consist of emptiness. Referring to the glittering women, darkness sparkles also, in its own way.. on the other hand, it's true that one's own negativity pulls other people down too, I like this black hole picture consuming its surroundings very much.....I think you did well describing the insights of your mind, the space images read smartly and nicely although it's a hurtful content. But sometimes those read best, the dark und hurting ones..

[Papaya]

The hurt in this... Such a powerful voice.
I like it.

[Riley McKinney]

Thank you so much!

[Papaya]

You're welcome. :)

[Gray]

You've expressed your feeling good enough within the lines that are here, although I don't know that they're true. Our feelings are self-made. Others may not see us the way we do.

You may have even answered your own problem.

No one wants
an empty shell
of a woman
that destroys everything
around her.


Then don't be one. The future is not the past. We have the opportunity to change our course in life. I wish you luck in that endeavor.

[Christopher Miller]

I'd say it's sufficient the way it is. However, the image of the black hole does leave room for expansion. They suck all matter in, not even light can escape. If you'd care to get into why you see yourself that way, there's a couple of parallels to work with. If not, I would say leave it.